Gilmananda

kudumi pudi

2012-01-24T11:20:00.001-08:00

THE PART THAT YOU WILL NORMALLY SKIP:
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Dear Mr (Miss?) Reader,
Greetings from Gin, R and P.
A blink of the eye and here comes the next post in Gilmananda ! (not to mention the long stupor in between the closing and opening phases of the slow motion blink). Nevertheless, almost an year has passed without any information whatsoever about Gin, R or P . We apologize for the delay (assuming someone cared ) but will ensure like every new director giving his first interview that 'The team has worked really hard for the past one year. This is something that no one has tried before. We hope for a great success'.
Success is often relative some say and relatives are often failures some other say, but we say neither. We just will say one thing though: A lot of things have happened in the lives of the characters concerned in the past year and it was wise to wait for a while to gather their stories completely before letting the world know about it. For instance, R and P are now committed (to each other of course) and Gin has sunk in a wave of pseudo reality before he started learning to swim (has managed so far only breadth wise and in less than 6 feet pools). But before we proceed to narrate what we call the part-2 of the foolish tales of these (not so) young individuals, we need to make a couple of things clear. Firstly, for the historically oriented reader who nitpicks on facts being true even in a fiction series, a few minor changes are in order. The R and P we encounter from now on may or may not be the same whom we have seen so far (If that did not confuse you, read it again). Their characteristics remain the same, names are made to remain the same, yet the careful reader (oxymoron?) would notice a subtle change in their dispositions. Gin on the other hand is the same person though has changed a lot . Anyhow, it is not his tale that we wish to narrate and so can safely ignore what happened to him over the past few months. Other than that everything remains the same. For good.

With those few words of introduction, we invite you back again into our lives.
To laugh with us. To laugh at us.
If you have controlled your emotions and successfully restrained from clicking the close button up till now, proceed to the feast. Lunch is served below. Hot and spicy!

Peas.
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Besant nagar beach. Gin and R are staring. One at the waves and another at the babes (er.. don't be mistaken. The author certainly meant "waves". Slip of the keyboard mainly because of his increasing Bong circle of friends ).

Gin: (still staring at the waves): "aaha..iyarkain adhisayamey adhisayam... situation kku etha maadhiri oru sondha kavidhai irukku.. aana last line dhaan thonamaatengadhu... sollatuma??"

R : "thala valikudhu da. please. venaam."

Gin: "ok.solren. kelu

ettu thikkum neela vaanam - adhai

etti pidikkum saambal alaigal - kannai

katti parikkum manjal veyyil - thanga

thattil jolikkum sivappu sooriyan"

R : "vetti payyan pachai poruki - avan

kutti potta vellai poonayaai

pretty naughty karuppu azhagikku

bit-ta pottan colorful kavidhayai."

Gin: " engayo poitta machi...aanalum seer miss aagadhu illa?"

R: "actually indha situation kku oru beer dhaan miss aagudhu.. irundha adichittu paduthiruppen nimmadhiyaa.. "

Gin: "dei.. unakku apdi enna vaazhkayila prachana? pona vaaram dhaaney idhey beach-side la romantic-ca commit aana .. P oda"

R: "last week committed sea-side machaan.. next week committed suicide machan... epdi kavidhai?"

Gin: "dei.. nalla dhaaney da irundha"

R: "commit aanadhula irundhey edho vaazhkayila koranja maadhiri oru feeling da"

Gin: "muzhasaa irukkara manushana konjam kammi ya maatharadhu dhaaney da 'kammi'tment ey"

R: "edhavadhu olaradha da..i have no problems with P.. in fact ithana naal kazhuchu naanga commit aanadhula enakku romba sandhosham dhaan"

Gin:"aprom yenna da prachana?"

R: "theriyala da"

Gin: "seri naan kandu pudikkaren paaru"

R: "kizhicha nee"

Gin: (adjusts his voice) : "vaaliba vayodhiga anbarey.."

R: "dei..niruthu"

Gin: "ok ok...vishayathukku varuvom..ithana naal pannaama pona vaarathula mattum pudhusaa edhavadhu panniyaa?"

R: (thinks for a while): "pepsodent dermicheck use panna aarambichen"

Gin: "vera"

R:"chutti tv la shakthimaan serial paathen"

Gin: "aah..aprom"

R: "'unga manasukku pidichadhu mattum samachu paarunga' nu google la thedinen"

Gin: "aprom arjun amma yaaru nu kandupudikka try panniya?"

R: "aamamda!"

Gin : "'kara nalladhu' nu unakku neeyey pathu mura solli paathukittiya"

R: "dei..exactly"

Gin: "onney onnu solren.. P vaazhkaya keduthudadha... kalyanathukku munnadiyey avala dhayavu senju divorce pannidu"

R: "dei...shut up..abasagunama pesaadha.. P vara time aachu..ava ipdi pesaradha ketta kondhalichiduvaa!"

Gin: "aprom ennada... oru kelvi ketta ipdi ya badhil solradhu"

R: "seri naaney solren"

Gin: "oh... matter edho irukka.. idha mudhallayey solla vendiyadhu dhaaney.. naan enna vaitheeswaran kovil naadi joshiyara... kelvi kettu nee yaaru nu kandupidikka"

R: "rendu vaarathukku munaadi dhaan naan gym la serndhen da..adhavadhu one week before P said ok"

Gin: "aaha.. afterall arai kilo weight loss kaagavaa...edho koranjiduchu...edho koranjiduchu nu sollittu irukka"

R: "illa da.. gym la oru ponnu"

Gin: "adaa adaa... excellent..workout pandra edhathula workout aayidicha? "

R: "yenakku opposite treadmill la ava jog pannittu irundhaa .. adhavadhu back facing a... edhirla irundha kannadi la ava mugatha naan paarthen da"

Gin:"idiot.. tamizh parambariyam theriyadhada unakku... sekkizhaar sollirukaar...gym la oru ponnu irundhaa mudhalla metti irukaannu legs a paakanum...aprom bisceps irukaannu arms a paakanum...aprom dhaan mugatha paakanum"

R: "ava enna paathu siricha"

Gin: "appo ok...sekkizhaaravadhu shakespeare aavadhu"

R: "naanum konjama sirichen"

Gin: "semma...aprom pinnadi irundhu oru irumbu kai unna pudichu izhuthudha... periya meesayoda bhailwaan purushan irundhaanaa?"

R: "no no.. aprom dhaan realize pannen.. ava enna paathu sirikala.. ava mugatha paathu azhagula mayangi avaley sirichittu irundhaannu"

Gin: "oh.. okay okay... chinna dhaa teddy bear potta key chain vechirundhalaa?"

R:" dei.. epdi da..avala unakku yerkanavey theriyumaa"

Gin: "ellam oru ulaga gyanam dhaan...mela sollu..."

R: "dhideernu enna paathuttaa... oru mora morachaa.. apdiyey kannla irundhu neruppu varaa maadhiri"

Gin: "fire on the treadmill ..run run run nu odi vandhutiyaa...??"

R: "illa da..anga dhaan enakkey theriyaama oru idea strike aachu "

Gin:" oh.."

R: "ava la marubadiyum naan paathukittey irundhen... konjam neram muracha..aprom treadmill-la erangi en kitta vandhaa... "

Gin: "kushi pada jothika maadhiri 'sense illa' 'manners illa' nu thittinaala?"

R: "what were you starring at? nu ketta"

Gin: "oh my god! what a tragedy"

R: "'YOU' .. apdinnu sonnen"

Gin: "ippo purinjudhu..enna koranjudhu un kitta nu... gym manager oru kidney-a uruvittu dhaaney vittirupaan??"

R: "illa da.. ava shock aayitta... yen nu ketta... naan yennoda cellphone a ava treadmilla vechirundhen.. kaanom .. adhaan paathuttu irundhennu sonnen"

Gin: "aaha.."

R: "aprom ava odaney 'i have no idea about your mobile' nu sollittu... en number kettu ava mobile la irundhu yen mobile kku call panni paathaa"

Gin: "idhelaam epdi da unakku mattum nadakudhu... i want complete information about the anatomical location of all possible moles in your body"

R: "aprom cell phone kedaikala"

Gin: "adha dhaan nee eduthuttu poi irukkavey maatiyey"

R: "exactly"

Gin: "aprom"

R: "aprom veetukku vandhu missed call paathu avalukku thanks nu message pannen... konja naal la naanga sirichi pesa aarambichittom da"

Gin: "okka makka...madam name please"

R: "ava peru S .. she is a mallu da"

Gin: "unakku rombavey dhillu da... seri..mela sollu da"

R: "S...ooonu kazhicho? apdinu ketta ava sirippa da"

Gin: "seri ok...naan poi P kku oru nalla maaplayaa thedaren..ava vadama va fathima va?"

R: "dei..enakkum S kum nadula irukaradhu..."

Gin: "maanaseega kaadhal dhaaney...theriyum"

R: "shut up da..its just friendship .. nothing more than that"

Gin : "cha.. what a waste of time... kadaisila neenga verum friends a?"

R: "yes.. in fact P pathi kooda avalukku naan sollirukken"

Gin: "oh..appo enna dhaan unakku prachanai?"

R: "nethu evening P kku phone panni tongue slip aagi... SSS... ooonu kazhichoo??? nu kettutten da"

Gin: "ha ha ha"

R: "dei sirikaadha da... adhulirundhu P ippo varaikkum en kooda pesala"

Gin: "Chetaa... unakku irukku di bata"

R: " romba kashtapattu P ya beach kku vara solli convince pannirukken da .. ippo avala epdiyavadhu convince pannanum"

Gin: "pesaama nee yen oru diamond necklace vaangi kudukka koodadhu P kku"

R: "dei.... enna vilayadariya?"

Gin: "illarathukku piragu selavu...selvaukku piragu thuravu nu saastrathula sollirukku da"

R: "urupadiya oru idea kudu da "

At this point, a pleasant female voice is heard from nearby

"Heyyyyy R!!!! what a great surprise... what are you doing here?"

R is shocked to hear the voice. It of course is S with a gang of her friends. Gin realizes this from R's facial expression. He turns towards the other side. P is seen walking towards their side fromfar off. He signals this to R in a hurry. R looks into the skies like a sheep caught between tigers.

Gin : "Chetta R ..nyaan hoga beku .. repu sandisthaanu ... bye bye... Hello S.... " and just before he begins the next sentence he starts running from the place as fast as possible " SSS.... oonu kazhichaanu???... R innum kizhiyillaaaaaaaaaaaa"

[To be continued on Valentines' day!]

Vada Poche

2011-02-11T03:00:00.000-08:00

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THIS IS THE LATEST POST IN THIS SERIES. IF YOU ARE VISTING GILMABAD FOR THE FIRST TIME, PLEASE START READING FROM THE FIRST POST (On the contrary, you can also choose to ignore me at will and pick any post at random and read. It won't make much of a difference) . THE ARCHIVES CAN BE FOUND ON THE RIGHT.

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Ok.This being a special post, i spent a minute or two thinking about how to begin it. A love poem may be, i thought. A gilma punch may be, i wondered. But i think what i have decided on finally makes much more sense and that is by congratulating YOU folks for spending your time here on such an occasion. Hats off folks. You have yet again proved that you are true Gilmas!!! With such a huge fan following (yeah, each fan is worth a million and i will let you people do the math), i take pride in presenting you the highly anticipated 'Vada poche'- the valentine special.

However, i will stop for a second here to warn you that there is no hidden message or hidden meaning or hidden agenda or hidden philosophy aimed at the world or individuals at large in what follows. What is about to come is as plain and as simple and as round and as small and as hot and as tender as a....rightly guessed.... our own paati sutta ulundhu vada!

Here we go.Enjoy while it is hot. (huh there again... not life...vada i mean folks...vada).

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VADA-POCHE!

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Gin and R are seen sitting.... hey wait...no...hang on....there is a situation here. There are two people sitting in a restaurant alright, but they are not our familiar Gin and R. 'Anga konjam Joom pannunga' shouts the cameraman, i zoom in and we indeed find Gin sitting in one of the tables. The person next to Gin is certainly someone we have not seen so far. Who is this strange person? We zoom further and the more we zoom the less clearer this figure sitting next to Gin gets. That's weird! We look closer by troubling the eyes a little more and hah...some solace. Our faith in humanity is still in tact. Its a 'He'...(that made me feel like a doctor in a tamizh movie..no no..not dr vijay...sabbaa!)

Well at this point having confirmed that nothing disastrous has happened, we shall not trouble ourselves anymore in figuring out who this mystery man is. As he appears really similar to Gin in the way he is gulping his cream of tomato soup (yeah, for the not so enlightened lot, there is a unique way every fat man drinks soup. Unique as in Uniquely identifiable even by a computer algoithm.Try noticing next time you encounter one), for all our purpose we will refer to him as Gintu (Gin-2 in unicode).

AAh... The director shouts 'cutttt' and i can sense he actually means 'Cut the crap!'. Ok. I will stop talking here. The camera will now takeover.

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Gin: "Machaan.... enakku un kitta romba naalaa kekkanumnu oru aasai....indha Polygamy pathi nee enna nenaikara?"

Gintu: "pakathu veetu Sivagamy pathi theriyum... polygamy pathi laam enakku theriyaadhu"

Gin : "yen da..adhula unakku nambikkai illayaa?"

Gintu: "ondrey sei....adhai nandrey sei....adhai indrey sei nu periyavanga sollirukaanga da"

Gin: "neeyelaam oru comp-sci student a da.... multi-threading ,multiple proceeses laam padichavan maadhiriyaa pesara nee"

Gintu: "Z for zombie nu oru unix la oru process state irukku.... padichirukiyaa?"

Gin: "aahaa... unma dhaan....adhu seri.... solla ponaa namma friends R-P kaadhal vaazhkaya unix process states vechey describe pannidalaam pola irukkey.... R-Running P-Page wait..... correct a porundhudhu illa?!""

Gintu: "avanga vaazhkai mattum illa machaan.... unnodadhum dhaan..... nee romba unna pathiyey overaa nenachittu irukiyaa..... adhanaala dhaan 'I' state la yey irukka..... I for idle"

Gin: "I-d-l-e idle pathi pesana odaney nyabagam varudhu .. I-d-l-y idly vada edhavadhu order pannuvomaa?"

Gintu: "saapaatlayey kuriyaa iru.... seri order panni thola..."

Gin: "enakku vada ...unakku?"

[Gin places the order]

A few minutes pass...

Gintu: "btw...kalyanam nichayam aayikku da!"

Gin : "wow...congratulations!"

Gintu: "dei..enakilla da... kanagaraj kku"

Gin : "seri ok... kanagaratulations!"

Gintu: "ponnu bombay yaam... exam kku solli kuduthu correct aayidichaam da "

Gin : "wow....kanagaraj avlo brilliant a ...pona semester paavam rendu arrear vechaaney!?"

Gintu: "exam kku munnadi naal night padikaama hotelkku poi mutton biriyani saapta aprom kaalaila exam la goat dhaan adippan!"

Gin: "aprom epdi da solli kuduthu correct panninaan?"

Gintu: "solli kuduthadhu ava"

Gin: "sooper...enna exam..'set' theory a???"

Gintu: "illa algorithms!"

Gin: "oho....naanum algorithms exam kku munnadi kovilukelaam poittu dhaan da ponen...aaana grade kevalamaa dhaan vandhadhu!"

Gintu: "muthu maari amman kovilkku pona mattum pathaadhu machaan.... knuth-morris algorithmum padichittu poganum....appo dhaan exam la pass aaga mudiyum!"

Gin: "appo kovil kku poradhu thappunnu solriyaa?"

Gintu: "poosarigalikku venumnaa worship is work aa irukalaam.... aana namakelaam work dhaan worship a irukanum da!"

Gin: "karuthu pramaadham...cho chweet!"

Gintu: "ennada..oru maadhiri solra!!"

Gin: "deiii....aamam da ..un kitta romba naala oru vishayam sollanumnu irundhen"

Gintu: "dei...seekiram solda...enakku bayamaa irukku"

Gin: "vishayam oru bombay ponnu pathi...mudhallayey sollanumnu irundhen....marandhey poitten"

Gintu: "aahaa.... maraathi ponnu pathi solla maradhi ya? namba mudilayey .. yaaru da ava?"

Gin: " nerla paathadhilla.... aanaa ava bayangara gundu ponnu"

Gintu: "ennada kozhappara?!!"

Gin: "aamaam machaan...yen kanavula bayangara gundaaa oru bombay ponnu adikadi varaaa da.....yenney theriyala..."

Gintu: " 'Dream big' apdeenu edhavadhu self-help books la padichuruppa.... "

Gin: "dei.... summa iruda.... gundaa irundhaalum ava sema azhagaa irukaa da..."

Gintu: "aahaa....fatal attraction kelvi pattirukken... idhu enna 'fat-aal' attraction aa!!"

Gin: "infact kanavula kooda avalum naanum daily edhir edhir chair la okkarndhu... "

Gintu: "chat pandringala?"

Gin : "illa chat saapidarom.... ava bhel puri...naan vada pav!"

Gintu: "sutham! extra 'aalu' kettu vaangi saaptirupaaley"

Gin: "aamaam da... epdi da kandupidicha?"

Gintu: "bombay ponnungara... .oru 'aalu' epdi da pathum!"

Gin: "dei.... woh bahut acchi ladki hai"

Gintu: "ecchi vazhiyudhu,.. thodachikko"

Gin: "infact oru naal naanga south indian restaurantkku ponom... naan oru changekku bakoda order panninen...."

Gintu: "aandavaa"

Gin: "ava pakoda va saapida edutha podhu oru piece keezha vizha irundhadhu..."

Gintu: "theriyum..... appo nee...'pakodaaaa' nu tamizhla katha..ava 'pakadoooo' nu hindi la katha... odaney nee thaavi pidichu saaga kidandha pakoda va kaapatha...bayanga romance nadhadhadhu....adhaaney"

Gin: "exactly...epdi da nerla paathaa maadhiriyey solra?"

Gintu: "yen thala ezhuthu!"

Gin : "ava en dream date da...infact avala pathi nenachaaley i start to blush da!"

Gintu: " inimey avala pathi pesinaa kandippa unakku kannam sivakkum....vekkathunaala illa...veekathunaala... orey kuthu.... "

Gin : "ippo ennangara?"

Gintu: "kanavula vandha ponna oru ketta-sapna va nenachu marandhudungaren!"

[At this point their order (including the vada) is placed on the table and the topic immediately gets diverted]

Gin :"eppo ketta order a eppo eduthuttu varaan paaru.... arai mani neram nammala kaaka vekkaraanunga... aana ivangalukku peru 'waiters' a?? !"

Gintu : "seri seri...afterall oru vada latea vandhadhukku ipdi kochikara"

Gin: (in an angry tone) "vada pathi unakkenna da theriyum... "

Gintu: " seri seri cool down... vada pathi unakku oru trivia solren... "

Gin: "trivia sonna kekkaren.. aaana sonnadhukku apparam tharuviya nu kaiyya neetinaa kekkamaatten!"

Gintu:(gets angry) "nee aachu un vada aachu.... go to hell..."

Gin : "vasadhiyaa pochu... anga poi oil kopparaila porichu porichu saapidaren!"

Gintu : "oru vadayoda ivlo emotionalaa attach aagadha da..avlodhaan solluven"

Gin: "vada da...summa illa...vada"

Gintu:" ayyoo"

Gin: "seri...edho trivia solrennu sonniyey"

Gintu: "solren kelu...north indians kku vadainaaley pidikaadhu..... aanalum avangala namma 'vada-indhiyargal' nu dhaan solrom.... enna oru irony!"

Gin: "north indians kku vada pidikaadhaa??evan sonnan? nethu naan oru bengali payyan periya vada saapidaradha paathaney!"

Gintu: "bengali yaa??...avanga aatathula kidayaadhu...nee venumnaa avan kitta poi kettu paaru...avan saaptadhu ennannu .... 'bada' nu dhaan solluvaan.... nee vera periya vada saaptaan nnu solra.... appo 'badaa bada' nu solluvaan infact"

Gin: "ayyo..podhum....indha conversationa namma idhoda niruthikalaamaa...enakku pasikudhu...naan vada saapidanum!"

Gintu: "saapidu...aanaa adhukku munnadi nalla think panni paaru.... vada saaptaa odambu bayangaramaa eridum.... vada saaptu gundaana ethana pera naan paathirukken theriyumaa?"

Gin: (thinks for a while) "aamaan da...unma dhaan....idha pathi naan pala varushamaa yosichirukken da...."

Gintu: "great! idha tackle panna edhavadhu idea thonichaa?"

Gin: "romba naal think panni oru bayangaramaana idea thonichu da.. Stocks Trading maadhiri Fat-Trading.... gunda irukaravan odambula irukara extra fat ellam trade pannalaam.... olliya irukaravan adha vaangikalaam..... online accountum undu...pennline account um undu!"

Gintu: "kizhunjudhu po"

Gin: "idhula age vithiyaasamey kidayaadhu.... kuzhandhaigal mudhal mudiyavar varai...ellarum fat-trading pannalaam"

Gintu: "perivangalukku forex... kuzhandhaigalukku farex.... vengayam vikkara velaikku unna vengayamnu thitta kooda vekkama irukku da!!"

Gin: "ennoda pathu varusha kanavu idea da idhu..... apdi mattum oru scheme naan uruvaakitten naa..."

Gintu: "dei dei..podhu da.....doctor vasi maadhiri pesittey pogaadha...."

Gin: "ennoda odambula irukara extra fat ellam apdiyey eduthu..."

Gintu: "vaaikku transfer pannipiyaa??? un vaaila already irukara kozhuppu pathaadhaa?"

Gin: "oruthan imaginationa parakka vitta ungalukelaam porukaadhey"

Gintu: "maanatha parakka vittadhu pathaadha? imaginationa vera parakka vidanumaa?"

At this point R runs into the AC room of the hotel where Gin is sitting. As Gin is about to eat the Vada from his plate, R comes and sits in his opposite seat with a thud. Gin is taken by complete surprise and even before he realizes,his vada falls down on to the floor which R happens to step over with his slippers.

Gin stares at R as R speaks

"Dei...edhukku da indha hotel kku vandhu thaniyaa okkarndhirukka... innaikku valentines day nu theriyaadha unakku???? P enna meet panna inga varaannu solli irundhaa...adhu unakku theriyum.... naanum 2 hours a avalukaaga wait pannittu irundhen....somehow she got to know you are also here... adhanaala kochittu vara maatten nnu message anupirukka!!! arivey illaya da unakku.... yenda ipdi siva poojayila panni maadhiri vandhu inga okkarndhirukka.... nee hostel vaa da... unna gavanichikuren"

After the flurry of words, R rushes out with the same speed he came in.

Gin's world becomes dark and starts to rotate around him randomly at infinite speed.

He stares longingly at the Vada that R just walked over.

He continues to stare.

He still continues till date.

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Moral (if any) of the Story (if any) :

"In life for some its Vada-Poche ... For some others its V-Day Poche.... the objects of attraction may be different.... the intent always however is the same...."

See you folks. Have wonderful times ahead!!!

oo-la-la wonder-la - PART-2

2010-12-28T05:26:00.001-08:00

Teeeeengggg Teeeengggg Tinggg...... Bangalore Lokamanya Tilak express will shortly arr ... err...no..this is not the announcement i intended to make. Wait a minute. AAh..ok..gotcha Here it is.

Announcement Number-1
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This post should not be held as a review or comment about Wonder-La. This is a work of pure fiction and the opinions/ideas expressed here are solely that of the author's. [mostly ideas that generally hit him fresh during those cold night, long and romantic beach side date with someone from the Padukone family. (Dream date pa - literally! )]

Announcement Number-2
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Kids who have landed on this page by searching for 'wonder-la' and are looking for Kids-stuff, please move away immediately. This particular post is not suitable for children (unless you are a PPP like me - Pinjulayey Pazhutha Pazham) ! Anycase, you will be better off checking out

http://www.wonderla.com/game/spider.html

[yippeee... I love spider killing ! .... it gives me immense pleasure the split second the spider turns red before it chokes to death! wow..what a game for kids!]

And Adults (18+), who have already wasted a couple of mins shooting random spiders and who are also looking for more of Kids-Stuff , jump in folks...this one is for you -lets go- ooh-la-la-Wonder la!

Announcement number 3

You may want to read the first part of the story here before proceeding on to this one.

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Sunday.

Gin gets up in the morning and is surprised to see R already awake and sitting in a corner messaging.

Gin: "R, enna da ... P oda samaadhaanam aaiduchaa ... cha...oru swarasiyamey illama sanda pottukareenga da... oru one year...at least 6 months sanda pottu pesaama irundhaa oru gethu.... maximum 6 hours ..adhukulla la poi sorry kettudara.... waste da nee "

R: "dei... indha murai un aasai palichidum pola dhaan irukku.... "

Gin: "oh... enna aachu?"

R: " nethulirundhu onnilla rendilla... ezhu message anupchitten da... sorry kettu.... no reply... ellamey failure dhaan.... cha"

Gin: "kadaisiyaa innoru murai anuppi paaru...kandippa..."

R: "reply varumgariyaa?"

Gin: "illa varaadhu !"

R: "aprom yen da anuppa solra"

Gin: "already ezhu murai message anupchitta... idhukkum reply varalennaa .... 'yettu another failure ' nu oru mokka joke adippen ...adhukku dhaan :) "

R: "thoo...."

Gin: "seri ok 10 mins...takkunu ready aagu...time aachu... kelambanum....wonder la!"

R: "yes...wonderla.....ellathayum marandhuttu innaikku freak out pannaporen!"

After 600 seconds .

R is in front of the dressing table.

Gin: "Dei.... ennadaa idhu pattayaaa pacha color la oru belt.... karate la vaanginadha?"

R: "illa... kada-theru la vaanginadu...."

Gin: "vera color-ey kedaikaliyaa da unakku!"

R: "go-green da..."

Gin: "enna go-green?? pacha kozhandhaiya irundhaa nee ippo pacha porukki aayittennu ulagathukku kaatriya?"

R: "ayyo ayyo....dei....dood aagaradhukku mudhal vazhiey belt color a change pandradhu dhaan.... dood kavidhai kettadhilla nee"

Gin: "urupatta maadhiri dhaan...adhu enna?"

R: (in TR style) "thala ya pannungada spikeu... oora suthi

alaya karizma bikeu ...

kannukku podungadaa coolersu.....

namma denomination eppavumey dollarsu...

mandaveli mylapore luzzaa...

irundhaalum saapidu nee pizza...

facebooku orkuttu twitteru

english la appappo peteru...

idupula color colora beltu ... machi

ponnungalaam udanadiyaa meltu.... "

Gin : "sahikala"

R: "periyavanga sollirukaangaley....oru dood a innoru dood aaladhaanda purinjukka mudiyum nu.... unakelaammmm eppo purinju....."

Gin: "dei...edho message vandhaa maadhiri irukku...."

R: "aah...apdiyaa...ayyayo..." (looks anxiously at the cellphone)

Gin: "kelambi vaa... message um varala oru mannum varala.... ivan laam dood aam..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On their way to Wonder-la . Gin drives the bike and R sits behind.

Speed: 27 Km/hr.

R: "wow... munnadi semmayaa oruthi passion bike la oru dood oda poittu irukka da.....c'mon da...follow pannu da andha bike a.. quick quick...."

Gin: "dei...edhukku.... adi vaangaradhukka.... "

R: "machan....idhula thappey illa da...naan padichirukken da"

Gin: "padichirukiyaa????ennada solra?"

R: "self help books la laam padichadhilla nee??....."

Gin: "self-help aa?? edhu....indha 'Count your chickens before they run away with the neighbors dog'....andha maadhiri books a?"

R: "exactly...andha maadhiri books ellathulayum 'follow your passion' nu potirupaangaley da.. adhaan follow panna solren...adhu passion bike dhaan."

Gin: (to himself) "aandavaa... ivan thirundhara maadhiri theriyala.... innaikku ennenna nadakka pogudho...."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At Wonderla (Crowded Ticket counter)

Gin : "Machaan... ticket 500 rooba.... ATM card irukka....???"

R :"he he... indha PAN card, Driving License , ATM card ... idhelaamey wallet la

original vechikka koodhaadhu... xerox copy dhaan vechikanum nu engamma sollirukaanga da"

Gin: "ada thoo...kaasilannu solradhu kku ipdi oru saakka....naaney ticket eduthu tholaikaren..."

R: (in a loud tone)"adhu seri...ennada....ticket vaangaravan ellarum thelivaa irukaanga"

A couple of people throw a weird glance at Gin and R.

Gin : (in a silent tone)"yennadaa solra????"

R: " illa da... water theme park.....varravanga ellarum thanni la irupaangannu sonnayey...adhaan ketten"

Gin: (silencing R) "ssshhh....enda ipdi silra thanamaa pesittey irukka...."

R: "be the change you want to see nu ....yaaro sollirukaangaley.... (thinks)"

Gin: "Gandhiji sonnaru....aana indha artham illa...."

R : "endraikku midnight 12 manikku oru vaalibanaal besant nagar beach il ilam pengalai sight adikka mudigiradho....andraikku dhaan indha naadu sudhandhiram petradhu endru artham..... idhu yaaru sonna? carl lewis aa karl marx a???"

Gin : "shut up .. ippo nirutha poriyaa illayaa !!"

R: "ok...ok... silence.. history pidikaadhunnaa sollittu po...yen kathara ??"

[After a few seconds]

Gin: (to himself)"aandavaa... ivan thirundhara maadhiri theriyala.... innaikku ennenna nadakka pogudho...."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inside Wonder la..

R: "machaa,.... follow me.....gold da..gold...."

R rushes towards a pretty girl who is walking at a distance.

Gin carries his heavy body and tries to match R's speed.

R after nearing the girl starts whistling for a while... dosen't get any response from the girl... and then hums an old Ilayaraja melody.

R: "♫ ♪ ... endha pennidamum illaadha ondru...adhu edho....unnidam irukiradhu....♫ ♪...adhai ariyaamal vidamaatten....adhu varai unnai thoda maaten....♫ ♪ "

Gin just reaches the place and pulls R from behind and stops him.

Gin: "dei vetti....adhu ponnu illada...payyan....long hair vechirundhaa back side la irundhu paathaa aambalayaa pombalayaa nnu kooda adayaalam theriyaadhaa da...."

R: "aaha...thanks machan... vaa...avanukku artham puriyaradhukulla odiduvom...."

Gin: "aandavaa.... (fill in the blanks) "

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After hours of rides ,both Gin and R are terribly tired.

R wants to try one more ride while Gin refuses.

Lazy river - Basically a ride to relax where you get into a man made river and just stay afloat for 30 minutes as you slowly move across the river to the other end.

R wants to try it while Gin who is even more lazier than the river decides to stay back and sit under a tree.

R immediately after jumping into the river finds a girl floating alongside alone . He waits for a while and just keeps pace with the girl.

R (striking a conversation..) : "hey"

girl : "hello... "

R: "nice place ..huh"

girl: "oh yeah...am loving it"

R: "coincidence! am loving it too!"

girl: "what was that?"

R :"never mind... where are you from ? Bangalore?"

girl: "why do you want to know?"

R: "ok...lets talk something else... how did the indo-US congress for the welfare of the african tribes meeting go? i heard the tribes were going like 'ooooooooo' "

girl: "omg!"

R: "he he... so u want to switch back to the older question?"

girl: "u r funny!"

R : "no..i am R ...from chennai!"

girl: "chennai yaa??? sooper!"

R: "oh... tamizhaa nee?"

girl: "aamaam.....am pooja"

R: "saraswathi a lakshmi aa?"

girl: "what?"

R: "enna pooja nnu ketten"

girl: "kadavuley...."

R: "rendumey kadavul dhaan ... he he..."

[in the meantime]

Gin sits under a tree. No one is seen around.

Suddenly from nowhere a guy silently moves towards Gin and tells him something .

A hushed conversation takes place for a while.

Gin looks around for R and to his shock finds him at a distance with a girl!

R: "so pooja... unakku coimbatore la friends irukaangalaa?"

Pooja: (thinks for a sec) "illayey.... not anybody i can think of immediately"

R: (sigh of relief) "good... thanks!"

Pooja: "yenna good...yenna thanks?? "

R: "illa...coimbatore ponnunga laam oru maadhiri ... u know.... romba koba kaara ponnunga.... adhaan... just... sonnen.... "

Pooja: "ennada R...girlfriend aa?? therinjaa adi pinniduvaala?? "

R: "cha cha.. not at all.... Girlfriend irundhaa unna maadhiri oru azhagaana ponnada time spend pannuvenaa?"

Pooja: "...summa kadha vidadha da...."

R: " azhaga irukennu sonnaa kadha vidarennu solra..."

Pooja: "hey... naan sonnadhu girl friend kaaga"

R: "cha cha.... naan oru suthamaana payyan.... u know...as pure as ... u know.... cooker la irundhu suda suda edutha idli maadhiri....avlo pure"

Pooja:"ayyoooooo...."

R: "nee epdi??"

Pooja: "avasiyam sollanumaa...don't u think this is too much for a conversation with a stranger on a random ride like this?"

R: "well...life is a strange movie ... with twists and turns all over the place"

What happens after this needs a bit of explanation. The suddenness of what is about to happen might be tough to explain in words, but i would invite the reader to imagine the situation. All of what is explained below happens in about 2-3 seconds.

The river takes a twist, Pooja's float turns first and goes away from sight. At the same instant, one other float from behind crashes on R's float and he is shaken up a bit.Both their floats stop at the turn of the river and R turns at once instinctively to find some unknown guy smiling at him in a weird manner. The Random guy who could not have seen Pooja by any chance smiles again at R and says

Random_guy: "Sir.... Ungalukaaga dhaan ivlo dhooram vandhen!"

R: "Yaaruyaa nee?"

Random_guy: "naan yaarungaradhu mukkiyam illa sir.... unga prachanaya epdi theekaradhunnugaradhu dhaan mukkiyam"

R: "ennayaa solra??? enna prachana?enna theekka pora nee???"

Random_guy: "enakku ellam theriyum sir.....(smiles weirdly again) girlfriend kooda laam sanda pottaa summa vida koodaadhu sir!"

R: "yov.... enna venum unakku???"

Random_guy: (suddenly lowers his voice) : "sir... unga friend ellathayum sonnaru.... indha maadhiri problem ku ellam naan dhaan sir indha area la dealer..leader...ellamey..... neenga mattum indha leggiyam vaangi saapudunga.... ungalukku 10 ey nimishathula yaanai balam kedaikkum sir .... aprom neengaley nenachaalum ungalaala......sir...sir.... enga sir poreenga.... irunga sirr.....just 2000 rupees sirr... unga friend neenga kandippa vaanguveengannu sonnaaru sirrr.....sirrr....."

R accelerates his float and takes the turn to find Pooja's float at a distance

Pooja (at a distance..getting out of the float) :"All the best with your girlfriend R... my lazy friends are waiting... nice meeting u.... bbyeeeeeeeeee"

R lies on the float and starts staring blankly at the sky ...

[sad music in Subhabhanthuvarali raga in background]

--------------------------------------------[:( :( Not all stories have happy endings]------------------------------------

That night in the room

<<<< Cellphone vibrates >>>

1 Message Received.

Sender : P

Message: " Gin spoke to me and explained everything...."

R rushes to Gin

R: "dei paradesi.... ennada phone panni pesinaa P kitta...."

Gin : "i explained everything machaan!"

R: "dei...... enna everything??"

Gin: " unna maadhiri oru payyan kedaikka ava leggiyam panni vechirukanum nu dhaan... i mean....baagiyam da...sorry sorry ..maathi solliten da!!!! :) :)!!"

R: " podaaanggggggggg"

<<<< Cellphone vibrates >>>

1 Message Received.

Sender : P

Message: " apologies accepted... waiting to see you soon...good night for now <3 "

-------------------------------------------[Some stories just cannot have bad endings!]------------------------------

From the HR Department:

2010-12-17T02:03:00.000-08:00

Hey Folks,

I tried to hire a HR representative to post the admin related details, but the only one i could hire for free was myself. So here i am, posting the details.

First and foremost, Gilmananda has successfully survived 1000 straight days (with occasional extended periods of hibernation ) !!!
In any case we will celebrate the blogs 1000th birthday now!!!

And on this special occasion, i thank all the regular followers who have kept me inspired either by commenting on the blog, or sending emails or dropping in a line in gchat or sending occasional flowers (well, one of the four is not true).

On this special day, i invite any of you interested to send an email to vdrn485@gmail.com or leave a comment here in case you want your blog to be linked to Gilmananda's blogroll.

Finally,I (along with all of you) hope Gin and R will continue to inspire mankind to lead a foolish life and still be content with it !!!

Thanks for reading.

Have a nice day! And have a great Christmas/New year!

Sincerely,
Gilmananda (neither holy, nor poli )

oo-la-la wonder-la - PART-1

2010-12-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

R visits Gin's place in Bangalore (meaning a dilapidated single room rented house) during internship.(of course with his brand new company laptop) !

On a lazy Saturday afternoon.

Gin: "endiri R endiri..... endiri R endiri..... endiri R endiri..... < 8 more repetitions >"

R : "dei death_customer .... kaalangaarthaala endaa ipdi koochal pottu ezhuppara?"

Gin: "dei... mani madhiyaanam 1:30 ... japan la innerathukku mega serial ey start pannirupaanga.... ezhundhuru da seekiram.... poi saapidalam..."

R(manages to get up from the bed): "hmm... munnadilaam veetla kaalaila kolangal poduvaanga... ippolaam night dhaan podaraanga... what a pity"

Gin: "dei...thelivaa irukiyaa??"

R(rubs his eyes): "sollu da....enna plan innaikku?"

Gin: "adhaan sonneyney.... poi saapidalaam..."

R: " thoo..??"

Gin: "dei...ennada nakkalaa... kaalaila irundhu unakaaga saapdaama irukken..... unna ezhuppa kathi kathi en thonda katti pochu ... theriyumaa"

R: "machaan... nethu night treat la nee saapta saapaatukku innaikku nyayapadi unakku 'sore-throat' vandhirukka koodaadhu da.... 'soru stomach' dhaan vandhirukanum..... adhukulla epdi da marubadiyum unakku pasikudhu..... anyway..... post-soru enna plan??"

Gin: "innaikku already late aayidichu... saaptu vandhu kavundhu paduthu thoongidalaam.... naalaikku venumnaa wonder-la polaam"

R: "wonder la va?? adhu enna da??? thirunelveli pasanga 1.5 a tamizh la solraa maadhiri solra!"

Gin: " adhu oru water theme park da...oo-la-la oo-la-la wonder-la ..."

R: "wow... sounds cool machan... "

Gin: "yep!... naan ponadhilla anga...but neraya pasanga sollirukaakaanga... i think we can check out a lot of 'interesting' stuff there !"

R: "aah... check-out nu sonna udaney dhaan nyabagam varudhu..... office la code onnu check out pannirundhen.... adha check in pannanum"

Gin: "ada paavi.... ponna 'checkout' panni 'commit' aagungadaanaa code a check out pandraanaam.... dei... unna vechuttu andha P romba kashta pada poraa da!"

R: "machan....avala pathi pesaadha da"

Gin: "aahaa.... night late aa thoongum podhey nenachen..... avamaanam...vekkam...vedhanai....thuyaram.... choose the correct answer"

R: "all the above!"

Gin: "excellent.... ennada aachu?"

R: "dei....irukara kadila dhum adikka aarambichidalaamnu irukken da..ganesh beedigal kedaikumaa da inga?"

Gin : "dei.... adhelaam romba thappu machaan... thondayila cancer varumaam... kich kich vandha kooda ok...vicks saaptu guna paduthidalaam!"

R: "cha....indha naatla oru aanmaganukku sogatha maraikka dhum adikka kooda sudhandhiram illayaa"

Gin: "machaan...... freea dhum adikaradhu dhaan 'freedom' naa naadu urupadaamaa poidum da"

R: " thoo... nee oru kaaigari thol porthiya pazham da"

Gin: "ayyayo... unakku kandippa edho aayidichu.... kanna pinnannu olarara ... ennannu sollu da "

R suddenly shouts :" aaaaa"

Gin : "dei....ennada aachu...."

R: "poyum poyum indha P kaaga gym kku ellam poi bayangaramaa exercise panninen da.... ippo kai pudichikichu .... kaal pudichikichu !"

Gin: "kai kaal pudichaa pathaadhu da... manasum pudikanum...adhaan kaadhal...adhuku gym ponaa pathaadhu!"

R: "ennada solra??"

Gin: "workout panna mattum workout aagaadhu nnu solla varen da"

R: "ayyo.... already kadila irukken da.... innum cryptic aa pesi enna confuse pannaadha da"

Gin: "seri ok done.... vishayatha kakku"

R: "adhey pazhaya panchaangam dhaanda..."

Gin: "silly old calendar!.... enna aachu... edhavadhu SMS la prachanayaa.....???"

R: "epdi da kandupudichaa?"

Gin: "idhula naan PhD da.... mela sollu"

R: "nethu P office la saree day aam"

Gin: "interesting .... "

R: "ennayum ava office kku vara solli irundhaa..."

Gin: : "unakku ramar blue chiffon sarees semayaa suit aayirukkum... pottuttu poirukalaamey da!"

R: "dei....!!!"

Gin: "useless fellow... ava officekku kooptaa poga vendiyadhu dhaaney... yenda kelambi bangalore vandha ???"

R: "natpukaaga"

Gin: "naasamaa pochu"

R : "ava office la gethu geetha nnu innoru ponnu irukaa da..."

Gin: "what a twist!"

R: "avala pathi sonnaley P kku kobam varum da!"

Gin: "note pannikaren.... orkut la apparamaa thedanum"

R: "adhanaalaa avala ethi vittu ethi vittu P a kindal pannuven da"

Gin: "idhu engayo thappaa poraaa maadhiriyey irukkey...."

R: "cha cha.... adhelaam illa da.... nethu saree day vera yaa.... so P kku oru message anupchen da..."

Gin: (hums) selai kattum pennukoru vaasam undo... ennannu anupcha...

R: " 'GEETZ POO SAREE AAMEY!' nu anupchen...."

Gin: "apdeenaa...???"

R: "Poo potta saree da.... "

Gin: "whatever.... adhula enna apdi thappa irukku???? "

R: "adha ozhungaa anupchirundhaa dhaan prachanayey illayey!"

Gin: "aprom??"

R: "theriyathanamaaa dictionary mode on la irundhadhu da.... enna nybagamo theriyala.... idhey message a apdiyey type panni anupchitten da!"

Gin: "puriyala.... enna aachu??"

R: "nee venumnaa naan sonna message a apdiyey dictionary mode la vechu un mobile la type panni paaru :( .... "

Gin takes his mobile and goes to 'Messages'

Inbox: 0
Outbox: 0
Create Message (selects this)

Puts it in dictionary mode and types 'Geetz poo saree aamey!" and checks the content...

Shock! Shock ! more shock....

Gin: "dei!!!! enna kodumaa daaaaa idhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... idhukku enna artham"

R: "enakku ketta neram nu artham ...vera enna ... i can't even imagine what it could possibly mean.... gundu payyan ... uhmm... no... idhukku artham puriyumnnu enakku thonala.... "

Gin: "un nelamai ipdi aayiduchey da....."

R: "vidu machaan.... naaney idha marakanumnu irukken....... kenaru vetta boodham kelambunaa kadhainaa idhaan..... enakku mattum yen ipdi aagudhunnu theriyala..... anyway.....naalaikku wonder-la porom..... relax pandrom! deal??"

Gin: : (in a partially agreeing tone) "deal!"

---------------------------------Wonder-la adventures will follow-----------------------------------------
----------------------------------***********************----------------------------------------------

Author's note: Am sure you have already figured out why R is so frustrated. You can empathize and sympathize with him in the comments section!

Tid Bits

2010-11-19T22:05:00.000-08:00

Quick Tit Bits from Gin-R conversations
-----------------------------------------------------------------

(Gin&R over the lunch table)
R: "Machan.... neraya hindi ponnunga azhagaa irukaanga machan... namma epdiyavadhu hindi kathukittey aaganum"

Gin: "hindi bhahut easy hai machan...meraa paas seek kar "

R: "apdiyaa.... seri lunch time...saapaata irundhu kathukka aarambikkaren ..."

Gin: "acha....poocho.."

R: "pulippu naa hindi la enna da?"

Gin: "pulippu matlab khattaa "

R: "appo romba pulippu naa?"

Gin:(thinks for a second): "semma kattaa !!!"

=================================================

(Gin & R during internship)
Gin: "machaan.... innaikku bayangaramaa mazha peyyudhu... work from home pottuttu veetlayey summa irukalaamnu irukken da"

R : "yen da.... leave poda vendiyadhu dhaaney.... CL laam enna pannittu irukka?"

Gin: "silly fellow....enga manager sollirukaaru....CL laam am romba precious aam.... you must always save it for a rainy day aam!!"

R: "!@#$%^"

==================================================

(Gin&R during an usual useless conversation)

R: "machaan.... you know something.."

Gin: "soldaa..."

R:" nethu i got invited to P's place da"

Gin:" wow...avalukku nichyadharthamaa?"

R: "cha.... abasagunamaa pesaadha da.... i was invited for golu at her place"

Gin: "wonderful.... ravikkai thuni kuduthirupaangaley kelambum podhu!!"

R: " cha cha.... it was great fun da"

Gin : "apdi enna fun??"

R : "all ladies were singing songs da"

Gin : "serii...."

R : "and we were all eating sundal da"

Gin : "serii.... "

R: "and...and...actually avlodhaan da... u know...it was fun..."

Gin: "idhelaam unakku fun aa thona aarmbichiduchaa da.... appo nee maapilai aaga ready aayittey varannu artham machan"

R : "the highlight was this da...P's mom was singing 'alaipayuthey kanna' song da... he he.... the movie version da... A.R.Rahman one..u know...beautiful composition da"

Gin : "machaan... stop..."

R: "enakku andha paatu romba pidichirundhu da.... i even recorded her voice machaan..."

(R plays the song from his mobile... as the song proceeds, one could witness strange expressions of disgust, sorrow, irritation etc mixed in equal proportions appearing now and then on Gin's face)

R: "idha pathi un karuthu enna da....i can tell her ur views next time i meet her"

Gin: "enakku orey oru pazhamozhi dhaan da thonudhu. "

R: "wow.... enna da?"

Gin :" 'summa irundhaa song-a oodhi keduthaalaam aunty' .... idha apdiyey poi avanga kitta sollu...udaney ponna kalyanam panni vechiduvaanga....dei dei...aaloda ammakitta ellam yendaa ippovey pambareenga... unga la ellam thiruthavey mudiyaadhu da"

=============================================

Besant Nagar Baywatch - part 2

2010-11-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

Ok. Here is the deal ppl. I have an exam coming up in another two days or so and my alter ego is busy preparing for it. He wouldn't allow me to sleep, he wouldn't allow me to freak out , he wouldn't allow me to blog... nasty chap he is (oh, yeah am talking abt the alter-ego fellow...not my prof).I just managed to silently sneak out of my study without his knowledge and thought shall quickly update my fav blog before he finds out. So the deal is this. This post can be short, incomplete , incoherent, nonsensical , mixed up, random, noisy , foolish and may be even with illegible handwriting . Please bear with me on this.

PS: If you are already looking up a doc/psychologist's number to suggest me, please refrain from doing so. I am not schizophrenic at all. (However,I just enrolled for a PhD program and you may derive similar sounding conclusions from it. I will leave that to the imagination of the reader) .
On the other hand If you are a nice person and are thinking that the description in the last two lines of the previous paragraph agrees with any of the posts in this blog and nothing new that was not known before has been told, then smile gently to yourself and proceed further.

Happy reading.

Besant Nagar Baywatch - Part2
----------------------------------------------------

Link to part-1

Gin: Machi... P da... ippo enna panna pora?

R   : iva yen da inga vandha?

Gin : therla da... oru vela project third review kku prepare panna vandhirupaalo?

R   : Dei...

Gin : aprom ennada? beach kku edhukku varuvaanga??? love pannadhaan

R   : Dei!!!

Gin : Nalla uthu paaru... pakathula kandippa brown cooling glass, white belt, green shoes, spike hair style, bike keys oda standard aa
      oruthan irupaaney...

R   : Dei...

Gin : pocket la i-phone... kaadhula i-pod maatirupaaney... hmm..(long sigh) .. ippolaam vaaipaadu theriyadhavan kooda i-pod la dhaan paatu kekkaraan... kaalam kettu pochu machi...

R   : dei.... niruthu da .. ava paatukka thaniyaa beach la kaathu vaanga vandhirukka...u know... just for oxygen...thats all..

Gin : aprom naamelaam beachkku kadan vaangavaa varom ?... u know... we also coming... just for oxygen...

R   : seri...ippo enna dhaan solla vara?

Gin : 'kazhudhaikku theriyumaa carbon-di-oxide vaasanai' nnu solla varen...

R   : ayyoo...apdeenaa?

Gin : therilayaayaa... ha ha..appo nee dhaan kazhudhai... ha ha... aaraam class joke da idhu... innamum emaandhukittu irukka .. ha ha

R   : ada thoo... seri ...naan ava kitta poi pesa poren... please...nee vandhu sodhapidaadha...

Gin : any tips?

R   : thevayey illa...naaney poikaren...

Gin : dei... enakku tips oru pathu rooba kuduthuttu podaannu sonnen....

R   : unna thiruthavey mudiyaadhu da...

Gin : naan enna 8th std english composition note aa? thiruthi thappa irundhaa 'rewrite'nu podaradhukku.... kaasa kuduthuttu kelambittey iru da...

R is now seen moving towards P .. That being a weekend, the place is too crowded and after a minute's walk he misses P in the crowd. He turns back and neither finds Gin at the place where he left him. Turns back again to find P at a distance entering into some shop . He thinks for a second and calls Gin.

He hears the following tone

"Neenga dial seidha vaadhikaiyaalar tharpozhudhu bhajji saapittu kondirukiraar.
satru neram kazhithu thodarbu kollavum"

R   : "dei vetti...ava edho kadaikulla poittaa da... ippo enna pandradhu?"

Gin :(in a villainous tone) "evlo selavaanaalum paravaalla...andha kadayaa vaangidu"

R   : "loosu maadhiri pesaadha... ippo andha kadaikkulla pogavaa vendaamaa?"

Gin : "kandippa podaa... poi naturalaa meet pandraa maadhiri meet pannu... aprom un theramaya use panni conversation a continue pannu"

R   : "apdeengara?"

Gin : "seekiram poda... kerala kaaran kadayaa irukka pogudhu... anga irukara malayala pasangalaam paaka gethaa irupaangannu kelvi patirukken!"

R   : "seri...edho solra... poren..."

R rushes towards the shop. Enters it and finds P at a distance.

(At this point, we would silently mention to the reader that R just assumed it was a cloth shop but never noticed the name of the shop whose board in front read as follows:
First line: (small font)     'அங்காளத்தம்மன் துணை ' (Angalathamman thunai)
Second line: (large font):' மகாலட்சுமி மாட்சிங் சென்டர் ' (Mahalatchumi matching center)
Third line (small font) : 'இங்கு அணைத்து வித ரவிக்கை துணிகளும் கிடைக்கும் ' (Ingu anaithu vidha ravikkai thunigalum kidaikkum)

After few minutes of moving around consciously avoiding her view, he suddenly
appears in front of her. P looks at him and is shocked. R manages a similar expression of shock. After a second , somehow hiding the pride of his histrionic skills, he says

R   : "Hey P... enna indha pakkam?"

P   : "mm.. just like that.... nee enna indha pakkam"

R : "he he...purchase"

P : "oh..yaarukku... unakka?"

R : "of cors... enakku dhaan "

P : "oh.. nee inga adikadi varuviyaa?"

R : "he he... aamaam... naan eppavumey inga dhaan vaanguven"
P : "oho... " (tries to control laughing)
R : "u know... i like the customer service here very much... moreover lots of varieties ... en tastekku etha maadhiri kedaikkum"
P : "oho ... " (laughs a little bit more now)
R: "yen sirikara P... "

P : "no no.. nothing..naan vera edo nenachu sirikaren... u go on... un taste enna?"
R : " he he...ippolaam naan full hand dhaan podaren.... adhuvum the ones with... u know...."

(suddenly slows down his tone and looks around)

P goes to 'uncontrollable laughter mode' .

R without even waving good-bye rushes out of the shop before a blink of the eye.

On his way back, his cellphone suddenly vibrates... he stops running and looks at it.

Message 1:
Sender: P

Message: " i am still laughing da ... :) "

Message 2:
Sender: Gin
Message : "Machi...come soon to room... raj-digital-plus la 'rosa poo ravikai kaari' movie start pannitaan...seekiram vaada...semma gilma movie"!!!

********************************************************************************************

T-shirt

2010-07-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

I so far have no idea of printing it, but in case someone is interested in buying one if printed, do leave a comment!

Besant Nagar Baywatch - Part 1

2010-07-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

For all those readers who expected 'stuff' looking at the title of this post, i am sorry, i am going to disappoint you.
Afterall i am a pathetic author left with three abnormal characters (well to do justice, let me say 'appappo normal' characters) - Gin , R and P.
Operating under such heavy constraints of weaving stories with these three people, it would be nearly a sin if the readers unfairly
assumed the 'P' of this post to be 'Pamela Anderson'. No, it is still the same three people with exactly the same worldview but just a
different day and a different place.

Ok. Here we go.

Besant Nagar Beach!

(I will skip the part where i should describle the location, the chill wind, the beautiful waves, the babycorn-milagai_bhajji-appalam shops etc etc.)

Gin after a long discussion with R over phone on whether he should come to chennai or R should come to bangalore for the weekend during their internship,
finally decided that besant nagar beach provided richer and more admissible flora and fauna than forum mall of bangalore and hence he should be at chennai.

Saturday evening- 6 P.M
-----------------------

Gin and R are seen sitting on the slab near a 'jaljeera' shop in besant nagar beach. They both seem a little lost in thoughts (of whom,we won't go into).

R: (breaking a long silence) :"Nature is a great equalizer da... what do you say?"
Gin: "ginger soda is a great appetizer da"

R: "vaangi kudichu thola"

Gin orders one.

R: "dei Gin... indha beach la irukaradhu ellam tamizh pasanga ponnunga dhaan da...aana enda ulaga scene podaraanga? any idea?"

Gin: "adhu scene illa da...avanga brought up apdi"

R: "enna brought up...podalanga brought up...veetla ellarum local tamizh la dhaan pesuvaanga kandippa..."

Gin: (points to something) "seri... idho idhu enna?"

R: "?"

Gin: "solda...idhu enna?"

R: (in a weird tone) "chair..."

Gin: "paathiyaa...english la solra... thappu sollanumnaa idhuvum thappu dhaaney"

R: "seri ..tamizhla solren... naarkaali...othukariyaa ippo"

Gin: "idhey 3 legs irundhaa ennanu solluva?"

R: "hmm.... mukkaali"

GIn: "oru leg irundhaa?"

R (about to say something...stops suddenly): "i understand ur point machi....nee gethu da!"

Gin: "aanaa adhukaaga indha tanglish pasangala naan support pandrennu mattum nenaikaadha"

R: "yen da?"

Gin: "konja naal munnadi idhey edathula rendu per pesittu irundhaanunga.... chennai la edho oru engineering college la computer science padikaraanunga"

R: "enna pesinaanga?"

Gin: "oruthan innoruthana ketaan 'dood...whats a palindrome da?'

'dood... why ya askin dood?'

'lakz pingd me dood... i have no frickin clue abt it '
'palindrome...must be some metallica stuff dood...

lakz a metallica freak u know'
'no macha...lakz a iron maiden crazy fan da... '

ipdiyey pesittey irundhaanunga da"

R: "ha ha...kadaisila enna aachu?"

Gin: "sema kadi aayitten... ulla poondhu...'dei... dood dood nu solreengaley...adhuvey oru palindrome dhaanda vetti pasangalaannu thittitu vandhen"

R: "vidra vidra... rendu pera vechu ellarayum eda podadha da..."

Gin: "adhu ennamo seri dhaan....aanaa paaru... onnu ipdi irukaanunga... illanaa inga varravan ellam s/w engineers a irukaanunga... "

R: "adhuvum paadhi per 'aal'oda vandhu torture pandraanunga .... cha... where is this country going?"

Gin: "indha maadhiri kootathukelaam oru peru vekkanum da"

R: "peraa...enna peru da?"

Gin: (thinks for a sec) "Unmarried Software Engineers Looking Everywhere for Social Silumishams --- epdi?... abbreviate panna USELESS nu varum... poruthamaa irukkum"

R: "super da... aana internship mudinjaa nammalum USELESS aayiduvomaa da?"

Gin:"kavala padaadha da...appo Unmarried S/w Engineers Fuleing Urban Livelihood nu maathikalaam.... USEFUL aayiduvom!"

R: "nee thirundhave matta da... jolly a kindal pandra... avan avanukku enna kashtamo...adho paaru.. oru 30+ plus aalu thaniyaa poittu irukaan... ivana ellam endha

category la sekkaradhu... ivan thalaila mudi vera kotti pochu paavam"

Gin: "machan... indha beach kku varradhu rendu category da.... Vaazhkai smoothaa illannu kavala padara category onnu... Vazhukkai smooth aa irukkennu kavala padara

category onnu... ivan rendaavadhu category!"

At this point, something totally unexpected happens. Yes!! At a distance, 'P' is seen walking with a few friends. Gin firsts finds her and informs R. Both of them get

excited. R pays for the Jaljeera and starts to follow P. What happens next?

Ratha Paasam.

2010-07-18T03:01:00.000-07:00

Gin runs into R's room as fast as he could. His heart skips beats at regular intervals. He rushes in, takes a seat, takes a deep breath.

R: "dei Gin...enna da aachu... ipdi odi vara? anything important? HOD kku udambukku edhavadhu?"

GIn: "aaha...enna oru paasam"

R: "illa da... naalaikku vandhu meet panna sonnaru... important a oru discussion"

Gin:" dei... dei... attendance lag kaaga poi kaalla vizha pora... idhukku buildup a?"

R: "seri seri...nee edhukku odi vandha..adha sollu"

GIn:" naan health conscious da... eppavumey odi dhaan varuven"

R: "adhu theriyum... 7:30 mani mess kku 7:15 key odi poi dosa queue la nikkaravan dhaaney nee"

Gin: "huh... silly fellow...seri...unna oru health related question kekaren...badhil sollu paapom"

R: " ? "

Gin: "saadha fruit kum dry fruit kum enna vithiyasam? sollu paapom"

R: "nee nethu varaikkum saadha fruit da... innaikkum naalaikkum kulikaama irundhaa dry fruit aayiduva.... enna..correctaa?"

Gin: "thoo... un kitten ketten paaru... calorie naa ennanu theriyumaa unakku"

R: "theriyum da... gowri ya tamizh la ezhudhinaa calorie nu varum!"

Gin:" aah... mokka podaadha...adhu seri...adhu enna laptop a marachi vechu edho pannittu irukka??....enna da matter?"

R:(silly smile)" matter laam onnum illa da"

Gin: "unmaya solriyaa... illaya" (moves towards R)

R: "ayyo...nothing da...just world politics browse pannittu irundhen..."

Gin: "idha enna namba solriyaa?"

R: "ayyo nejamaa da... latest news theriyumaa unakku? america la latest aa oru katchi election win pannuchu illa... andha katchi internal politics naala rendaa piriyaradhaa irundhaadhaam...ippo marubadiyum onnu serndhudichaam...epdi theriyumaa?"

Gin:(sarcastically) "mmm...epdiyaam?"

R: "katchi leader kku andha katchiyoda right hand 'thani party vendum' nu email anupchaaraam... adhula spelling mistakee aagi... he he...'thanni party vendum' nu mail poiduchaam... aprom ellarum thanni adichu onnu serndhutaangalaam...."

Gin: "idhu oru kadha...idha naan nambanumaa... ozhunga mariyadhayaa laptop indha pakkam thiruppu... adhu enna pakathula chips packet vera kadakku... appo sandhegamey illa...something wrong"

R: "dei...chips saaptaa thappaa da?"

Gin: "kutramulla nenju dhaan kurkure saapdum nu nee kelvi pattadhilla"

R: "ayyo..ivan tholla thaangalayey...dei..nothing da... naan konjam spiritual a polaamnu spirutual sites browse pannittu irundhen..."

Gin: "enna site? edha pathi browse pannittu irundha?"

R: "idhu da... i mean...idhu.... yeah.... aalwargal pathi "

Gin: "'salwar gal' nu nethu evening google la search pannavan dhaaney nee..ippo 'alwaar gal'pathi search pandranaa epdi da nambaradhu? ...laptopa kudu daa inga"

Gin jumps on R and pushes him away. Checks the laptop.

Operating system: Windows 98
Applications open: Notepad.
Filename : "unakaaaga_oru_paper_roja.txt"

Contents:

"

I will write as many poems as possible. I will choose the best
to give her for valentines day.
1)

A,E,I,O,U endru sollum podhu udhadugal ottaadhu...
'P' endru sonnal dhaan udhadugal kooda ottum.

2)
vowel illadhaa consonant aa
aval illa college aa...

3)
kaalayil kathum seval..
vaazhvil thevai idam porul eval...
arisiyaal aanadhu aval pori...ayyo
ennakkul erivadhu ival veri "

4)
maalai nerathil pookum malligai
ulundhu paruppu kidaikum maligai...
aanaal neeyo enadhu _ (cursor)

"

The next scene at R's room is simple to imagine. Gin is seen below the bed rolling on the floor laughing.
It is rumoured secretly that Gin continued laughing for so long and so hard that his eyes started
bleeding. And now that folks explains the amazing yet subtle connection with the title of this
useless post!

Tid-Bits.

2010-07-13T04:17:00.000-07:00

Some Quick and Random tid-bits from our Own Gin/R/P !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R/Gin in the middle of a random discussion

R: "machi, enakku oru doubt!"

Gin: "solli thola"
R: "oru event sucessfulla mudinjaa ennanu vaazhthuvaanga?"
Gin: "congratulations nu"
R: "oru event nadakaradhukku munnadi ennanu sollunvaanga?"
Gin: "all the best nu"
R: "aprom yenda kalyam aagaradhukku munnadiyey boy-girl kku 'congratulations' nu solraanga? nyaya padi 'all the best' dhaaney sollanum"
Gin: "aala vidudaa saami...adi vaanga naan ready a illa"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------R/P sms discussion.

P: "R... unakku thirukural la arathupaal pidikumaa , porutpaal pidikuma"
R: "enakku kamathupaal dhaan da pidikkum P"
P: "cha...pervert!"
R:(thinks) 'kamat hotel la masala paal nalla irukumnu sonna koba padaraaley!'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R sharing his internship experience over phone to Gin.

R:"machan..enakku internship la oru matter aayiduchu da"
Gin:" enna da solra?"
R: "en manager tamizh dhaanda... romba friendly type"
Gin: "avarukku ponnu irukkaa?"
R: "dei..uncly typenaa sonnen..friendly typenu dhaaney sonnen"
Gin:"seri mela sollu"
R: " nethu lunch la jolly a pesittu irundhom...appo dhideenu future wife a describe panni oru page ezhudhittu vaa nnu sonaaru da"
Gin: "dei..ennada solra?"
R: "aamam da..naanum confuse aayitten..manager solraarennu romba yosichu kashtapattu P pathi ezhudhittu ponen daa..."
Gin: "aprom ?"
R: "adha paathu vizhundhu vizhundhu sirikka aarambichitaaru da"
Gin: "yen da... ???"
R: "future of wi-fi pathi ezhudha sonaaraam.... naan thappa kaadhula vaangitten!"
Gin:"sutham!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gin at a hotel in bangalore.

Waiter:"sambar bekaa?"
Gin (keeps staring at the girl in opposite table): " "

Waiter: guru...sambar bekaa?"
Gin: " "
Waiter: "hullo..sambar???!"
Gin: (suddenly): "shilpa kodi.... oops...solpa kodi"
Waiter curses and goes away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day Ondhu.

2010-07-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

People arrive, people depart. love blossoms, love withers. Friends come, Friends stay .

"When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer
in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer
from the plain."

Magic words of Khalil Gibran (from the Prophet).

Ha, for people who are wondering why the author has inclined strangely
towards sentimental babbles in a blog like this, there is some not so good news.
Gin and R have ended up in different companies for internship. (yes the money-bug spares no one). Gin is posted in Bengaluru and R in Chennai.Tragedy.

It is with a heavy heart (often cited as reason for obesity by Gin) that Gin waves good bye to R and other close friends and packs off to Bengaluru. He feels a strange analogy of college life to that of a cracker. Oh yes, they did have a cracker of a time. But alas, Time has acted like a candle with a fiery flame to which the entire Gilma gang which was like a unlighted 'kambimathappu' put their heads into and at the moment when they least expected, the mathaappu ignites and out they are thrown like the sparkles , each one to a different place in the country. How sad :( . Terrible.
Every minute of the last day moves like an hour. Slowly but eventually,the sands of time creep into the last hour of their college life together. Drops of tears trickle down the cheek of the entire gilma gang as they hug each other one by one (nC2 times). The tides of the sea of memory rises up painting fond pictures of time spent together ... and when the tide goes back, it takes back not only sand from the shore but also... oh man...bullshit! it is unbelievably tough to write a pathos script..... lets cut the crap and get straight to business!!

Bengaluru - City of dreams - City where one can 'figure' out all of life's wanting!

Gin is on the night bus from coimbatore to bengaluru. He is excited like hell. At the same time afraid. This is not his first metropolitan visit. He has visited Chennai umpteen number of times before , but hey Bengaluru is different. It is no match to chennai , its so different- one of his seniors had said. Of course he knew both chennai and bengaluru had one famous thing common between them - MGR!
While Gin scarcely cared about the Maruthur Gopalan Ramachandran of Chennai, he was all too excited about the Mahatma Gandhi Road of Bengaluru.
Moreover he had heard that Bengaluru was famous for 'Mall'. What on earth could that be, he had wondered that night on the bus. Even after a long struggle, he could not arrive at any decent meaning for the word.
And then there were the Pubs! Pub city, they called it. Wow! 'And What of Chennai- with koovam running right across the city, it is huh, Gub city ' he thought to himself.

And of course the girls! well gals ...or even better - gurls - if you would prefer it.
'Surprising it is' he thought,' Why do all the beautiful girls happen to be in the same city?'.No answer there either. However, time gave him an answer in less than an years stay at Bengaluru. An answer that came to his mind when he was going through a C++ book. More on that later. (Remind me if i forget to tell you in a few posts from now)

Time - 4 AM.
---------------------
Place: Seat number 17, Window.
--------------------------------------------------

The bus lights are switched on.
"silk board ....silk board panni...panni panni...silk board panni' the conductor shouts.

"silk board panni yaa? pudusaa irukkey! indha oorla panni kooda silku rangekku irukkum pola irukku...what a wonderful city" .

He puts his head out out of the window and looks out into the dark. An auto driver shouts at him from below... "pandri....elli hoga beku.... pandri...bega pandri"

'aaa... namalla paathu panni ngaraan.... adhuvum sutha tamizhla pandri ngaraan.... tamizh semmozhingaradhula doubtey illa'

He puts his head in and closes the window.

Time 9 AM
-----------------
Place: Hotel Udupi Park, Murugeshpalya.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Gin: "ondhu roast"

Cashier: "ippathaidhu"

Gin: "sorry"

Cashier: "hindi maalum?"

Gin: "hmm...sumaara maalum"

Cashier: "pachees"

Gin: "no no...no cheese..plain roast"

Cashier: "tamizhaa nee?"

Gin: "he he..aamaam"

Cashier: "twenty five rupees"

Gin: "idhu english aachey"

Cashier: "yov..kaasa eduyaa..customer waiting"

Gin: "sorry guru!"

Time 7 PM
-----------------
Place:Forum Mall
------------------------------

Gin looks in awe at the mall and the people who walk around it. He now somehow gets an intuitive feeling of why it is called 'mall'. He suddenly
thinks.
'okka makka...ella payalum jodi jodi ya suthraanunga...mothamaa mall la ethana per irukaanga nnu count panna even number dhaan varum kandippa.... naan irukaradhaala odd aayidum pola irukkey... cha.. iam the odd one out'

At this moment he hears a voice. Its an young school boy.

"Excuse me uncle, time please"

Damage. Great Damage. Gin controls the flood of abusive words that rush to his mouth. He takes his nokia-1100 mobile from his pocket and looks at the display.

Gin: "7:10"

Boy: "tamizhaa"

Gin: "dei... yaaruda nee?"

Boy: "paaka sumaara irukeenga...indha cellphone vechirundha epdi urupaduveenga..... enna angle?"

Gin:" enna? enna...angle ?"

Boy: " whats your angle dood"

'ennavaa irukkum..... angle na? ennada pesaraan ivan...seri edhavadhu solli veppom.... indha oorey marmamaa irukku'

Gin: "radians or degrees?"

Boy: "he he...indha cell phone vechirukum podhey nenachen..... 20 kooda theraadhu pola irukkey"

Gin: "dei...yaaruda nee...oorukku pudusunaa emathalaamnu paakariyaa"

Boy: "thala... oorukku pudhusaa...appo angle naley ennannu theriyadhunnu sollu"

Gin: "aamam...theriyadhu...angle na enna?"

Boy: "thala... oru 'aal' set aayidichunaa angle -90 nu artham.... set aagi 3-6 maasam smooth a poittu irukunaa 120 nu artham... adhutha maasam kalyanam na 180 nu artham.... paatha padichavan maadhiri irukka...idhu theriyala"

Gin: "enna oru karuthu.... idhu theriyama pochey"

Boy: "ippo sollu angle enna...20 dhaaney"

Gin: "he he... pathu kooda theraadhu maapla"

Boy: "hayyo hayyo...cellphone a mudhalla maathu baa... naan kelambaren..."

The boy starts to leave.

Gin: "dei dei...irudaa"

Boy: "enna thala"

Gin :"edhukku daa enna paathu uncle nu sonna modhalla.... naan unna vida naalanju vayasu dhaan periyavanaa iruppen.."

Boy: "machi....adho poraaleyy...ava en school ponnu...naan unna time kekkum podhu ipdi cross panna...paathiyaa"

Gin :"illayey... paakala"

BOy: "aanaa ava unna oru look vitta....adhukku dhaan ava kaadhula kekkaraa maadhiri uncle nnu sonnen"

Gin: "dei...dei.... +2 dhaaney padikara"

Boy: "aamaam thala"

Gin: "molachu innum..."

Boy: "thala stop stop.... chennai la dhaan retta ela ,moonu ela ...molaikaradhu.ellam... this is bengaluru thala....illi fullu sakkath fast maga"

Gin: "sinθ/cosθ evlo da..sollu paapom"

Boy: "tanθ thala... naanga padipulayum fast.... remaining blanks a neeyey fill pannikko...bye bye...aprom varum podhu paathen...nee andha 'coffee day' board a yey morachi morachi paathuttu irundha.... adhu 'coffee ka-day' kku spelling mistake laam illa.... 'coffee day' dhaan kadai perey...ha ha.....welcome to bengaluru thala.... enjoy maadi ! good bye"

And thus ended the eventful first day at the city of dreams.

*************************************************************

dum dum dum

2010-07-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Gin enters the room singing " ♫ oh i like me...en laser paayum kangal...en caesar pondra tholgal ♫ "

R: "niruthu...."

Gin: " ♫ en nenjai urukkum nenjammmmmm.... ♫"

R: "niruthu da"

Gin: " ♫ idho idho indha punnagayaal...sadha sadha unnai saagadithen..hayyo hayyo un penmai sodhikirennnnn.... ♫"

R: "STOP THE SONG!"

Gin: "seri song venaama...oru karuthu solren kekkariyaa...
kaalai ezhundhavudan orkut, pinbu kanivu tharum nalla yahoo,
maalai muzhuvadhum gtalk... ena pazhagi kolal nalam paapa...epdi?"

R: "kevalama irukku"

Gin: "porama da unakku...poraamai... jealousy i say"

R: "dei...summa iru da.. naaney kadila irukken..."

Gin: "what the matter da?"

R: "enakku veetla ponnu paakaraanga da"

Gin: "ha ha ha....idhu periya prachana aachey da...naan venumnaa unga appakku phone panni ,ponnu paakaadheenga..R koba padaraan... paaka lakshanamaa veetukku ethamaadhiri oru payyanaa paarunga nnu sollava"

R: "dei..."

Gin: "aprom enna da... innum college ey mudikkala ..adhukulla unga appa unakku ponnu paakaraarunna enna namba solriya.."

R:(shouts) "ennada college mudikala...innum 6 maasathula college life over...aprom namalaam indha college alumni... indha college namma alma-mater....andha vaarthaikku arthamaavadhu theriyumaa unakku"

Gin: "alma-mater laam theriyaadhu ...FT department amala matter venumnaa theriyum.... oru velinaattu payyanoda suthradhaa pesikaraanga!"

R: "dei...bad words la thittiduven da...enna romba provoke pandra nee"

Gin:"seri cool cool...eppa sonnaru unga appa indha vishayatha?"

R: "nethu evening"

Gin: "ennannu sonnaru..."

R: "bharath matrimony site la register pannirukennu enakku mail pannaaru... andha mail la matrimony id number vera irundhadhu"

Gin: "machi...indha oosimony,paasimony,matrimony... idhelaam silra matter.... nee kavala padaadha..tackle pannidalaam"

R: "enna da kavala padadha... ippo P kku idhu therinjaa enna aagum theriyumaa?"

Gin: "wow...apdi oru matter irukko"

R: "enna thittiyey theethuduvaa.... adhuvum avalukku ippo thonda vera katti irukku...kara kara nnu MR Radhaa maadhiri pesaraa.... indha voice la continuous aa thitta aarambichaa kaadhu kizhinjidum"

Gin: "machi... P kku voice kolaaru ... unakku vayasu-kolaaru... super combination da!"

R: "naan kelambaren da...engayavadhu poi aasaramathula saamiyaaraa serndhudaren"

Gin: "dei...namma collegelayey paadhi per apdi dhaan suthittu irukaan.... kavala padaadha da... idhukku oru idea irukku..."

R: "enna da idea??"

Gin:"andha matrimony webpage kku povom... age field mattum 35nu maathiduvom...adha unga appa kandippa gavanikka maataaru....adha panninaa aprom endha ponnum unna madhikaadhu....matter over..simple"

R: "edhavadhu 34 vayasu ponnu madhichaa enna pandradhu"

Gin: "ek choti si love story ... adhuvum nalla dhaan irukkum... "

R: "dei..."

Gin: "kavala padaadha machan.... naan idea kuduthu miss aanadhey illa"

R: "miss aanaa kooda paravalla... mrs aagama irundha seri dhaan..."

Gin: "ok...naan sonnadha sei... mugatha apdi um nu vechikaadha... edhayo pari kuduthavan maadhiri irukku...."

At this time some random guy V enters the room...
V: "Gin thalaivaa... oru ponnu naala prachana...matter warden varaikkum poidum pola irukku... nee dhaan theethu vekkanum..."

Gin: (looking at R): "paathiyaa... idhula naan expert nu sonna othukko... (looks at V) machi..nee kavala padaadha...ponnunga psychology ozhungaa purinju tackle pannaatti pasanga apology letter dhaan ezhudha vendi varum. naan un prachanaya theethu vekkaren.... R... sonnadha sei... .naalaikku meet pannuvom...."

The next day
--------------------

Gin enters R's room. R is not seen anywhere in the room. Gin happens to look at R's laptop that is nearby.
Gmail.com
1 unread message.
From: dad
Subject: 'Re: Bharth-Matrimony registration reg'

Gin opens and reads it. Gin takes a few seconds to realize whats happening.
R enters the room.

Gin: "machi...nethu thanni adichirundhaya da"

R(still sporting a pathos look) :" illayey ...yen "

Gin: "dope?"

R: "enna da matter"

Gin: "seri... matrimony site la update panniyaa?"

R: "panneney"

Gin: "oru 41 vayasu figure reply pannirukku machi.... kattinaa unna dhaan kattumaa.... otha kaalla nikkudhaam.... ivala mattum ok pannu..aprom P kku nee appa stanatha adanjitta maadhiri aayidum da!!"

R: "dei...ennadaa solra"

R jumps onto the laptop and reads the mail from his father. He takes a second to realize his foolishness.

Gin shouts as he leaves running out of the room.
"machi...epdi epdi ..college mudinja udaney alma matter.....adhutha maasamey kalyanam...adhukadhutha vaaramey kozhandhai..... engayo poitta da...aana onnu mattum solren... varungaalathula naan oru blog ezhudhuven....adhula kandippa indha incident a ezhudhiyey theeruven da.... idhelaam nyayapadi kalvettula porikanum... naan internet la yavadhu porikaren...idhu sathiyam da...sathiyam!!!"

----------------------------------------------****-----------------------------------------------------------------
Though it was a personal email from R's father to him, i will give here the portion of what remains in my memory.

"Dear Son,
What is this you have done? Why have you modified the age field of your cousin Bharath's matrimony page? His father called me up and he is not at all happy with it . This is not a joke and i hope you understand it. As a computer science student, I just wanted you to check if everything in it was fine. I will call you today evening.
Love,
Father"

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PS: Authors plea to all fathers/50+ people: Computer science students can do much more than checking the sanctity of matrimony pages of random cousin brothers and sisters. Please let go the 'the bright chap who can fix mouse/monitor issues' attitude towards us. We deserve more, much more than that!!

The Omnipresent!

2010-06-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

The screen opens. Its a huge palace and in the middle of it is seated the majestic king with a shining crown on his head . Next to him below the steps is seen the minister of internal/external affairs!

Gin: "mannar mannaa"

R : "en ambirku uriya Gin amaicharey.... naatil enna nadakiradhu endru ovvondraai koorungal.... pala naatkalaai arasaanga vishayangalil gavanam seluthaamal irundhu vitten... indru ellavatrayum therindhu kolla aasaipadugiren"

Gin: "appadiey aagattum arasey... "

R: "makkal ellorum nalam dhaaney"

Gin: "nalam endru solla dhaan naanum aasai padugindren arasey...aaanaal"

R :" aanaal? enna amacharey...neengal solluvadhai paarthaal edho prachanai pol therigiradhey"

Gin: "aam arasey... oru vithiyasamaana prachanai ezhundhulladhu arasey"

R: "enna aayitru amaicharey? "

Gin: "naatil male-female ratio migavum kuraindhu varugiradhu arasey"

R: "aaha...idharkku enna kaaranam?"

Gin: "gandhipurathil irukkum pengalai ellam andhapurathirukku shift seidhadhu dhaan kaaranam endru ooril ilaignyargal ellam pesi kolgiraargal arasey"

R: "aah...peelaimedu kaalaimaadugalukku thimir adigamaagivittadhu... singamey ingey singi adithu kondirukiradhaam...maaligayin andhapuram murali padam odum arangam pol verichodi kidakiradhu endru naaney varuthalil ullen..hmm... adhu seri.. andha 'FT' desathilirundhu namadhu maaligayai sutri paarka vandha azhagi innum ingey dhaaney ullar?"

Gin: "aam arasey...avargalai poga solli vidavaa"

R: "vaangum sambalathirku udhavi seyyavitaalum paravaayillai...ubathiram seidhu vidaadheer amaicharey.... andha ammayaar sanga thamizhilil pesugiraargal...enakku sariyaaga puriyamaaten engiradhu... namadhu pulavar 'C'thalai_Saathanaarai ai mozhi aakkam seyya koopittu vaarungal"

Gin: "appadiyey aagattum arasey"

R: "veru enna arasaanga vishayangal amaicharey"

Gin: "arasey... ippodhelaam nam naatil kalyana vayadhaana pengal ellam maapilai eppadi irukka vendum endru pala nibandhanaigal podigiraargal arasey"

R: "aaha...naasamaai poittru...enna nibandhanaigal"

Gin: "maapilai usapuri desathai serndhavaraai irundhaal 'bonus points' aam arasey"

R : "aahaa"

Gin: "andha naatil 'pachai olai' endru ondru tharugiraargalaam arasey... adhai vaithirundhaal yosipadhey illayaam... udanadiyaaga kalyanam dhaanaam"

R: "ayyago"

Gin: "indha prachanaikku ennadhaan vazhi arasey?"

R : "amaicharey... udanadiyaaga nam naattilum 20 mudhal 25 vayadhil ulla anaithu ilaignyargalukkum pachai,manjal matrum navy-blue olaigalai adithu kudungal...nam naatu pengal namakkey sondham endru thiruvalluvar solli irukiraar allavaa..."

Gin: "arasey ... idhai thiruvalluvara eppodhu..."

R: "valluvar sonnal enna vairamuthu sonnal enna? karuthu dhaan mukkiyam.... sonnadhai mattum seyyungal.."

Gin: "aagattum arasey"

R: "veru enna arasaanga seidhigal amaicharey"

Gin: "arasey... innoru seidhi"

R: "enna adhu?"

Gin: "edhiri naattu arasan nam naatirukul latcha kanakaana mootai poochigalai eva vittirukiraan arasey...
nam naattu ilaignyargal anaivarum ippodhelaam mootai poochigalai adithu kolluvadhileyey nerathai veenadikiraargal...
urupadiyaaga endha velayum seivadhaai theriyavillai arasey"

R: "mootai poochiyaa... idhu enna vichithiraamana prachanai..."

Gin: "aam arasey...nam naattu ilaignyargal palar mootai poochi pidipadhil therchi petravargalaai irunkindranar arasey...idhai rasithu veru
seigindranar... ippadiey ponaal nammaal idhu mattum dhaan seyya mudiyum endru muthirai kuthividuvaargal arasey.. idharku enna vazhi?"

R: "yosikkiren....aah...idho oru vazhi... namadhu naattu mootai poochigalai edhiri naatin meedhu eva vidungal... avanavan pidithu paarthaal
dhaan theriyum... edhu sulabam edhu kadinam endru"

Gin: "attagaasam arasey...appadiyey aagattum "

R: "veru edhuvum visheshangal amaicharey?"

Gin: "arasey... thaangal P ammayaarukku oru kaadhal kadidham ezhudhi olai anupineerey...adharku badhil olai vandhulladhu"

R: "arumai arumai.... en kavidhai varigalil mayangi vizhundhirupaaley andha mangai.."

Gin: "thangalukku ammayaarai paarkum podhelaam kaadhal sudar vittu erivadhu pol avargalukku ungalai paarkum podhu kaalil ulla seruppai vittu erivadhu pol thondrugiradhaam arasey..."

R: "avamaanam"

Gin :"ithanai naatkalaai neril paarthu pesaamal olai anuppiyey pesum neengal selai kattadhaan laayakkaam arasey"

R: "kevalam"

Gin: "ammayarkkum anuppum olaiyodu serthu thozhigalukkum pura moolam olai anupuvadhai ammayar kandu pidithu vitaaraagalaam manna"

R: "asingam"

Gin: "pala naattu mannargal nam ammayaarai kai pidikka moondru maadhathirukku munnarey reservation seiyya thodangi vittanar endru therindhum
thaangal summa irundhadhu yen endru kobithu kolgiraargal arasey"

R: "naan tatkal il muyarchi seyyalaam endru ninaithen amaicharey..."

At this point alarm rings . "its time to get up..its 4:30 AM" . R jumps out of the bed. Checks the watch. gets shocked looking
at the time. Looks at the mobile. Three messages recieved .

Message 1:
Time: 3:03 AM
Sender P:
"i am ready. Shall we start?"

Message 2:
Time: 3:42 AM
Sender P:
"Hey the train is at 5 o clock. Are you coming or i am taking an auto"

Message 3:
Time: 4:28 AM
Sender P:
"useless affectionless idiot. good bye"

At this moment, Gin passes by R's room towards the washroom to take a piss. He sings with sleepy eyes and a broken voice as he walks across with drooped shoulders
"kanavu kaanum vaazhkayaavum kalaindhu pogum kolangal..."

R puts his hands over his head and keeps starring at Gin. After a few seconds he jumps out of his bed and goes and beats him up mercilessly.
The watchman who is sleeping at a distant corner of the hostel suddenly gets up hearing the following words faintly .
"dei...kaalan kaarthaala boni pannum podhaavadhu sollittu adingadaa...dei..amma..ayyo..aathaaaa"

Chori Chori jab - PART 2

2010-06-09T02:06:00.000-07:00

It is advisable to read part-1 before reading this. But even otherwise you are not missing much. As one friend rightly points out, the generic template for a gilma blog is

(i)Gin walks into R's room humming a song..
(ii) gives an idea to R.
(iii) when R executes it Gin is no where to be found.
(iv) R screws up.
(v) Gin laughs his a** out.

Huh,I always thought my blog had a complicated structure, but hey, its afterall the five points listed above. Five simple points. One after the other. Much like the Software development life cycle .
Analyze->Design->Implement->Test->Curse_Your_manager.
Its always the same and huh, why wouldn't people get bored doing the same thing.

That raises the question -- Is my pretty little blog dying? Well My answer: No folks, its certainly not dying, it just needs some dyeing - u know, to make it look ...say...for the lack of a better word...sexier! I am definitely not planning to add random nayanthara photos to the blog (btw,you can find better ones here: Random Nayanthara pics), but do something different. But that shall wait for a while. For now, lets finish of this lecture. It might appear in the final exam, so you guys better take notes!

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Chori Chori Jab- PART 2
----------------------------------------

At the Pizza hut.

R has never entered a pizza hut before. He is just about to step in when he looks at a wierd looking bell hanging in front. Yes, its a hanging bell!!! The type that you probably last saw in a fifth grade tamizh text book where a cow (holy cow!) rings it standing in front of Manunidhi chozhan's palace because his son had run a chariot over the cow's kid and the cow who knew Manu granted justice to everyone irrespective of caste, creed, color, sex, orientation or the number of legs one had, walked swiftly with all four legs to the palace seeking justice for its case! (This also reminds the author of the brilliant king solomon who tricked the false mother who claimed for a baby by asking if it can be cut into two and divided between the mothers. The false mother accepts while the true one does not.. and there you go, justice served and the world is at peace!!
How easy it would be if the terrorists were of the same intelligence as the false mother...anyway, no author sentiments allowed in the blog. so this will end here.)

'Oru velai bell adichittu dhaan ulla poganumo?' he thinks for a second. He decides to give it a gong when he suddenly finds someone from inside gongs it on the way out and he hears a group of people saying from inside 'thank you'.

'enna da idhu...kadaya vittu veliya pogum podhu bell adikaraanunga! ivanungala purinjikavey mudiyalayey... '

N shows a table and they get seated.

N is still seen yawning.

N: "sorry R, i am kinda feeling sleepy... adhanaala dhaan am yawning"
R: " cha cha... paravaalla N ... infact unna oru question kekatumaa?"
N: "?"
R: "nee yawn pannum podhu pakkathula irukaravangalum yawn pannuvaanga... adhu yen theriyumaa?"
N: "i don't know..some molecules some gas..some funda like that?"
R: "he he.."
N: "hey c'mon...tell me... naan studies la konch weak man"
R : "idhukku sanga thamizhla oru poem irukku... "
N: "what????"
R: "yawn petra inbam peruga ivvaiyagam"
N: "omg... man...you are hopeless"

'aah...enna ivalum hopeless ngra.. ayyo..mokka joke adikaradhu naaladhaano?.... control pannu da...control,CONTROL...indha situation la Gin irundhaa evlo gethaa handle pannuvaan...nee dhaan Gin nnu nenachikko... ippo continue pannu'

N: "ok R... am actually hungry... should we order?"
R: "of cors... orderadhunaalum ok ...paadaradhunaalum ok..he he..never mind...order pannu"
N: "hmm.... pick your choice... pizza or pasta?"
R: "he he...naan rajkiran fan N..so pizza vendaam..eppavumey pasta dhaan!"
N: "rajkiran ?? purila"
R :"rajkiran u don't know...avaru oru super duper old tamizh hero..."
N: "ok..so how does it matter?"
R: "simple... avaru films la ellar melayum avaru pasta apdiyey alli kottuvaaru...so adhaan naanum pasta order panna sonnen...ha ha"
N :"huh...i don't believe this....i just don't..unku moola kolmbi pochaa?"

'ayyayo... marubadiyum mokka vaangiteney..ponnungalukku pidicha maadhiri behave pannanumnu Gin sollirukaan...in his own words: one should try and be casual, ordinary , relaxed, unusual, extraordinary and excited at the same time...aah..engayo idikudhey.. anyway... konja neram pesama irundhu paappom...'

R remains silent for the next ten minutes.

N: "enna R... silent a irka?"
R: "enakku enna pesaradhuney theriyala"
N: "nervous a irukka?"
R: "hmm..aamaam.."
N:"enna thangachi maadhiri nenchuko...ellam seri aaidum"
R: "cha cha...illa...actually nervous aa laam illa.. "
N: "appo thangachi vendaam... ha ha...apdi dhaaney?"
R :"enakku coffee venum...thala konjam lesaa valikudhu..inga kedaikuma?"
N: "we'll go to coffee day after this...pakathula dhaan"
R: "ahem...ok"
N: "unkku endha coffee romb pidikkum?"
R: "narasus...i mean..."
N: "wait wait wait....lemme guess..."
R: "appa...ok.."
N: "unku pudcha coffee....'mokka'chillo...ha ha ha...correct?"
R: "he he...yes..correct ...exactly!"

'idhu othu varra maadhiri theriyala...route change!'

R: "N...un hobbies enna?"
N: "enakku hobbies um kedayadhu hubby's um kedayadhu.. ha ha.. unna maadhiriyey pesarenaa ..ha ha"

R: "Er..yes ..but i mean...books laam padikka maatiyaa?"
N: "ha ha..i was just kidding...R..nee enna think pandrannu puriyudhu.. hubby yey illa ...epdi 'kid'ding nu dhaaney? ha ha"

'iva enna plan panni kavukkaraalaa? ...illa anju nimishathla namma apdi oru impression create pannitomaa??'

R: "he he"
N: "i love reading books actually.... my favorite author is Asimov.. have you read asimov.. padichirkiyaa?"
R: "Er..um..yes...of course...Asimov is my favorite too"
N: "wow...endha book unku romba pidikkum? i love 'Rest of the Robots'"
R: "wow..coincidence... enakkum 'Rest of the Robots' dhaan favorite"
N: "sooper... adhula unakku endha chapter romba pidikkum R?"

'pochu da.. sethen"

R: "ella chapter um..."
N:"hey c'mon... there must be some particualar scene or chapter that you would have loved..right"
R: "oh ... yes..."
N: "which one?"
R: "indha Robots laam oru thenna maram keezha ukkarndhu rest edukumey... the rest of the robots...andha chapter... he he"
N: "ha ha ha...man... u crack me up..u are such a ... ha ha"

R manages a few more mokkais from N in the next ten minutes and he decides to rush out of the place as soon as possible. R and N reach college and part ways after saying good bye. R goes straight to his hostel room , jumps onto his bed, burries his head into the pillow. He slowly drifts into sleep.
In his dreams appears the holy but familiar and magnetic face of Saint Gilmananda... The saint utters to him one dialogue that R never forgot in his life.

The exact words of Gilmanada were this.

"Maganey... Vaazhkayila oruthi ya pidichaalum worthy a pidikanum !"

Suddenly R wakes up and picks up his cellphone and messages something. We don't know what or whom he messaged, but the expert crew's best guess is this

"Hi P !!!"

-------------------------------- [SUBHAM]--------------------------------------------------------------

Chori Chori jab - PART 1

2010-06-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

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Gin walks into R's room on a lazy saturday morning singing "unmayil naanum yoggiyan dhaanadi unnai paarkumvarai.... ada minsaaram en meedhu paaigindradhey...." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmGSDytBBPk&feature=related) .

R: "dei...avan avan sanikezhama kaalaila current cut nnu kadi la okkarndhirukaan.... situation song paadriyaa...shut up the naansanse"

Gin: "seri vudu.. vera paatu paadaren... 'aval parandhu ponaaley.... "

R: " ayyo..stop it da... onnu solren kettuko.. naan studies la theevirama gudhkalaamnu mudivu pannitten... placement time... cutting edge technology la vela seyya naan evlo kashta pattu padichittu irukken theriyumaa...."

Gin: "machi what a coincidence da... ippo dhaan saloon poittu vandhen.... owner kku kadaila velaikku aal venumnu kettaaru... ... cutting edge technology la dhaan vela....romba laam padichirukka vendaamaan da... try pandriya?"

R: "you are hopeless da"

Gin:"what a coincidence again da! nethu P unna paathu idhey dhaan sonnannu Q sonna... ha ha... enna sandaya marubadiyum?"

R: "life is hell da"

Gin: "yenna da aachu? ippadi salichukara?"

R: "u know what...naan mudhal murai P a paakum podhu, enakulla oru enam theriyadha feeling erpattuchu da...but its not there anymore"

Gin:(laughs) "machi... Dennis Ritchie C programming book padi da.... 'enum' therinja feeling varum"

R: "bloody geek....en vaazhkaya unakku sirippa pochilla?"

Gin: "dei.. enna dhaan problem ...sonaa dhaaney theriyum"

R: "we are not getting along well da"

Gin: "machan... onnu solren kettukko ....miss a romba understand panna try panninaa misunderstandings dhaan minjum... konjam vittu pudikka pazhagikko da"

R:"ennada solra"

Gin: "outside the box think pandra"

R: "dei...ennada solra...appo vera oru ponnukku try panna solriyaa?"

Gin: "aah... naan apdi sollavey illayey... but still...oru bayangara idea thonradhu... solren kekkariya..."

R: "shoot"

Gin:" next week namma college la inter-college meet. Veli college ponnunga neraya varuvaanga ... "

R:(with a wide grin) "intro vaangi kudu da ..please da"

Gin: "alayaadha.... ennayum yaarum madhikka maataanga"

R: "appo epdi da?"

Gin: "kavala padadha... varushaa varusham indha inter-college meet la neraya stalls poduvaanga"

R: "yes...paathirukken da.... juice kada stalls, milaga bhajji stalls, mega size appala stalls, dart board stall...anga kuri paathu nadula dart a erinjaa krackjack biscuit packet laam tharuvaangaley.....theriyum da"

Gin: " sutham... dei.. jukebox nnu oru stall irukkum...paathirukiya?"

R: "illa da... anga enna kedaikkum?"

Gin: "sonpappadi kedaikkum...vaangi saaptu vandhu hostel la thoongu..."

R: "dei...sorry da...idea solda"

Gin:" huh... gavanamaa kettuko... juke box na adhu oru vithiyasamaana concept"

R: "ok"

Gin:"yaaravadhu peru solli...oru paatum sonna....andha person kku andha paata nee dedicate pandrannu announce pannuvaanga!"

R: "super idea da... epdi da idhelaam yosikaraanga"

Gin: "nera ponnungaloda pesa therama illadha pasanga laam manikanakka discuss panni create panna idea idhu... idha use panni random a oru ponnu peru solli avalukku random a oru song dedicate pannu... aprom nee enga irukkannum announce panna sollu.... kandippa edhavadhu workout aagum"

R: "random a oru ponnu peraa.....kashtamaachey da"

Gin: "seri..oru dry run povom.... edhavadhu oru ponnu peru solli oru paatu sollu"

R: (thinks for a while) : "ok....ponnu peru gowri... song 'paattu paadavaa...paadam solla vaa' ... epdi...gethaa?"

Gin: "dei...gowri ya....ambiguous name da... gowrishankar nnu payyan evanavadhu vandu ninaannaa enna pannuva?.... nee solra paatu vera 'then nilavu' padam nu nenaikaren....risk machan...damage aayidum"

R: "aahaa ...ok... appo neeyey solda.... edhavadhu oru nalla combination"

Gin: "ponnu peru neha.... song: 'chori chori jab nazreen mili' ... ok?"

R:" dei...neha vaa? romba rare name maadhiri irukkey da"

Gin: "orkut la tamizh naattu college communities la yey thedi thedi nee romba time waste pannittannu nenaikaren.... ella culturals kkum oru 'neha' , oru 'pooja' , oru 'sheetal' kandippa varuvaanga da...nee dhairiyama try pannu"

R: "dei... nee irukara dhairiyam dhaan"

Gin: "machi...actually naan adutha vaaram oorla irukka maaten...so u r on ur own"

R: "ada paavi"

Gin: "edhavadhu doubt irundhaa enakku call pannu da... en cellphone roaming la dhaan irukkum...kandippa attend pannuven...kandippa!!"

R:" ok "

Gin: "Ok.Deal!"

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Inter-college culturals meet.

Guy At Jukebox Area(GAJA) : "yes please"
R : "hai... "
GAJA: "hello...your name dood"
R: "hai ..."
GAJA:"sorry"
R: "R"
GAJA: "person dedicating to?"
R: "Neha ... he he"
GAJA(looks up for a second) :" kewl"
R:"he he"
GAJA: "which number"
R: "number?? "
GAJA: "which number u wanna dedicate dude?"
R: "umm... eh... nineteen"
GAJA: "sorry...what was that?"
R: "song... here ?"
GAJA: (wierd look)"yep...which one?"
R :"cheri cheri jab"
GAJA : "u mean chori chori jab?"
R: "yes yes...and please tell i am standing in front of college gate with id card" (And he rushes out )
GAJA(to himself):"huh...crazy guys this college has got!"

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R keeps on calling Gin for five minutes but gets the same message
"indha vaadikayaalar ungalai madhikkavillai !"

Twenty minutes later:

A beautiful girl walks up to R
"Excuse me... are you R?"

R: "wow..i mean...yes"

"I am Neha... nice to meet you" (Offers hand. A trembling handshake happens)

R: "hai Neha..."

N: "Hey dood... why don't we talk over a pizza...wat say?"

R: "pizza..oh adhuvaa...yeah...sure"

N: "enku pizza romb pidkoom .. unku?"

R: "wow...tamizhaaa ??..enakku tamizh ponnunga naa...i mean...pizza naa romba pidikkum!!!!!"

N: "ha ha...yep...tamil dhaan...konch konch varum...but settled in bombay u know.... so wheres your car dood?"

R: "car aa... he he...my car is in the showroom still!"

N: "ha ha...gud one! so then epdi porom Pizza hut ku?"

R: "epdi poganum unga...unakku?"

N: "ur call"

R: "ok...call taxi la yey polaam..costly dhaan..paravaalaa "

R sits near driver and keeps on discussing mileage of the call taxi, number of gears and other non-trivial stuff with the driver while N sits behind and yawns. After a 20 minutes drive to RS-puram, they finally reach Pizza hut!

[part-2 coming soon]

Flashback

2010-05-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

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I don't know clearly about every man's success, but behind every man's failure, there is a 'flashback'! One incident that would tell a lot about what is about to come. Unfortunately most of times such a critical incident goes as unnoticed as a murali starrer romantic movie.

And the time is now ripe to look at the flashback of one of the most famous personality walking on planet earth today - Gin. (lets face it guys, this is MY blog!)

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Year: 1993 ( The year that saw the release of movies like 'Aranmanai Kili' , 'Ponnumani' etc).

Gin's educational status: 2nd std pass. 3rd std E section. (bar)

Gin is shorter/fatter/wider than what he is now. He is seen walking into the school wearing a white well-pressed shirt and a tight grey half-trouser. His hair is well combed with unnecessarily excess oil applied. A loose red colour handkerchief hangs down from the right pocket. A green colour nylon wired lunch bag is on the right hand. And more importantly a strange smile constantly keeps appearing and disappearing on his face.

He gets to his classroom, places the lunch bag outside and gets in and walks to his bench. Innocent Ramu is as usual early to school (he takes the 7:45 auto) and is studying something. The class is half full with more students coming in as time passes.

Gin looks around for someone, confirms the persons presence and strikes a conversation with Innocent Ramu.

Gin: "Ramu..."

Innocent Ramu: "Enna da?"

Gin: "innaikku PT period la enna pannalaam da?"

Innocent Ramu: "enna padikka vidu da.. un kooda pesavey koodadhunnu enga amma sollirukaanga... theriyuma?"

Gin : "yen da? naan enna pannen?"

Innocent Ramu: "Mary miss kitta solli naan place change panna poren.. un kitta ukkarndhadhukku aprom naan 15th rank ... adhukku munnadi 3rd rank .. oru vaati yaavadhu first or second rank vaanganumnu enga appa sollirukaaru"

Gin: "dei.. first or second rank vaangaradhu waste da.. romba danger"

Innocent Ramu: "ennada solra?"

Gin: "aamam da....first rank vaagina green color badge tharuvaanga... second rank vaangina red color badge tharuvaanga"

Innocent Ramu: "aamaam...adhanaala enna?"

Gin: "andha badge a shirt la sharp pin vechi kuthi viduvaanga principal. Kuthum podhu heart la kuthi ratham rathamaa varum...theriyumaa"

Innocent Ramu: "oh...nejamaavaa?"

Gin: "aamaam... "

Innocent Ramu: "illa... nee poi solra... enakku unna pidikkavey illa... namma friendship a idhoda stop pannikalaam da"

Gin (thinks for a second): "seri ok... aana kadaisiya oru velayaattu vilayaadittu stop pannikalaamaa?"

Innocent Ramu: "enna vilayaattu"

Gin: "naan onnu solluven... nee adha continue panni sollanum... simple game"

Innocent Ramu: " puriyalayey"

Gin: "ippo naan India-one India-two India-three nu sonna... nee India-four India-five nnu sollanum....naan stop solra varaikkum"

Innocent Ramu: "ok...naan ready"

Gin: "ok... 'I love Gaya-one .... continue pannu"

Innocent Ramu: "I Love Gaya-two, I Love Gaya-threee"

Gin(shouts): "eyyy Gayathri..... Ramu unna paathu I love you sollitaaaaannnnnnn"

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At 3 PM that day, Gin is found kneeling down outside the classroom with his hands stretched over his head. He thinks hard for the whole period, but is not able to find answer to one puzzling question.

"Gayathri ipdi class miss kitta maatti vittutaaley.... epdi avalukku Ramu nallavan, naan kettavannu therinjudhu.... indha ponnungalayey purinjikka mudiyalayey....cha...."

-------------------------------[END OF FLASHBACK]---------------------------------------------

Maanga

2010-05-04T00:06:00.000-07:00

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Prologue (Could be skipped without loss of continuity or differentiability)

Its almost impossible to guess why certain 'things' are named in certain ways. No, when i say 'things', i don't mean 'human things' ... for instance there was this fat rowdy (studying 12th std ) in my neighboring boys high school who called himself 'வெடி முத்து' for reasons unknown - we are not talking about him. Neither are we talking about 'a gang of people' ,like the ones who were against 'வெடி முத்து' , the 13 membered gang who called themselves 'D-13' (Dangerous 13) with a twisted motto - 'நாங்க மோசமானவங்க ... ஆனா பாசமானவங்க !' . ( Of course history has it that D-13 became such a big hit that it had a huge fan following --no, there was no FB when i was in school.. these were real fans in blood and flesh-- and it even inspired the next set of rowdies who called themselves E-11 (Electrifying eleven).. buts lets leave the rowdies in peace for now) .

Our point of discussion today is about something more abstract . It is about a humble word that has found its way into this elite list of 'non-etymological, incongruent but nice sounding words' . The word of course as all of you would have guessed by now is --- 'மாங்கா'!

What could மாங்கா possibly mean? Common usage suggests that it means a group banter with no specific topic in mind. But why would such an usage be termed மாங்கா ?
'Maanga' obviously means 'Mango' in tamizh. So, could it be possible that in the historic days of Chozhas and Paandiyas , philosphers sat in a circle near the temple and spoke about pointless topics while they were eating mangoes served by sevagars? Hmm... something lacks rigour in that explanation.
A philosophically bent mind on the other hand would lead us to believe that the crux of 'maanga' seems to carry the essential meaning of the purpose of life - Like what the modern complicated theories of universe postulate - there is neither a beginning nor a end - which even the vedas and upanishads touch upon frequently. This description so well fits our purposes , but then we still have the question -- 'why maanga?' ... a 'thenga' or 'mulaga bhajji' would have not fallen short of anything that 'maanga' manages to achieve in this context and so we shall throw the 'philosophy' angle to the bins.

A little bit of 'hindi' knowledge suggests a different angle. माँगा in hindi seems to mean 'want' or 'need' . Of course we all know the phrase 'yeh dhil maanga more' ... but what would a set of jobless guys sitting in a cramped room and talking nonsense would possibly 'want' or 'need' ? I can't think of anything and so am dismissing the idea without further consideration.

Something that comes closest to the usage is when you poke your nose into Japanese !
' മാങ്ങ ' (maanga ) in japanese means 'Comic' (and that was not japanese font btw) ..
Now that makes some sense!
Invariably all these Maanga Sessions are comical in nature even if it involves discussing serious current affairs and crucial topics like 'டேய் .. விஜய் பெரிய ஆளா ? அஜித் பெரிய ஆளா?' and so let us for now stick to the contrived notion that the term 'maanga' was invented when a set of first year college students , when they went to an 'industrial' visit to bandhipur forest lost their way and finally landed in a japanese restaurant and started discussing the 'சப்ப'ness of the noses of japanese girls while a onlooking very old japanese lady who knew a bit of tamil found their talk extermely hilarious and comical and started laughing her lungs out as she screamed 'maanga' 'maanga' and finally fell down on the floor and died.

Peace.

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CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

Title of the experiment : மாங்கா
Aim                                  : None , whatsoever.
Apparatus Required     :(i) Few useless Gilmas (minimum 2 in number)
                                          (ii) A dirty hostel room
                                          (iii)A convenient time (after tea and before dinner)

Method : Read on ...

----------------------------------------

Gin: " dei R...ennada romba theeviramaa edho yosichikittu irukka....?"
R: "innaikku romba naal kazhuchu s/w engineering class attend panninen da.."
Gin: "yedhu... indha waterfall model, vaazhpazha model nu oora emaathuvaangaley ... andha class a?"
R: "aaamam da...andha class la onnu solli kuduthaanga...adhu enakku romba pidichirundhudhu"

Gin : "apdi enna solli kuduthaanga?"

R: "WYSIWYG - What You See Is What You Get ..... indha idea mattum vaazhkayila ellathukkum porundhinaa evlo nalla irukkum"
Gin :"machaan.... warn pandren....ella theory um practical a apply panna mudiyumnaa naanum neeyum ipdi suthittu irukka maattom"
R: "hmm.... apdiyey innum konja yosichen da.... oru bayangaraamaana conjecture thonithu... aanaa epdi prove pandradhunnu dhaan theriyala"
Gin: " ayyayo...ennada aachu unakku...."
R: " 'all figures are isomorphic to each other' ... idha epdi da prove pandradhu?"
Gin: "idhu romba simple da.... ippo P unna enna pandra?"
R: "kevala padutharaa"
Gin : "Q?"
R: "asinga paduthara"
Gin : "A?"
R: "avamaana paduthara"
Gin: "X ? Y ? Z ?"
R: "madhikka maatengaraanga"
Gin: "oru maadhiri sketch of the proof kedachiduchaa?"
R: "un kitta sonnen paaru..... "

Gin: " oru kavidhai solren kettuko.....
'sooda kudikanum chaaya...
aatu kaal paayaa....
mookukku keezha vaayaa?
ponnungelaam maaya!' "

R: " engayo poitta da...aana enakku innum neraya doubts irukku da"

Gin: "ayyo...ivan tholla thaangaley... orey oru class attend pannadhukkey ivlo knowledge quest la irangittayaa da?"

R: " ippo for example... oru payyan oru ponna L pandraannu vechippom"

Gin: "adhavadhu nee P a... "

R: "dei.... generalaa pesum podhu specific a pesaadha"

Gin : "seri naan P a"

R: "dei....!!!"

Gin: "seri namma P a... ayyo...thappaavey varudhu..... ok...yaaro yaarayo.... ok va?"

R: "ok..."

Gin: " mela sollu"

R: "payyanum ponnum nalla pair a irundhaa kooda sila samaythula ponnungalukku ego problem varudhey ...yen?"

Gin: "ennadaa... doordharshan 'edhiroli' la kekkaraa maadhiri kekkara...."

R: "dei..serious a kekkaren...solda"

Gin: "periyavanga sollirikaangaley da.... 'thaan aadavittaalum than figure aadum' nu.... adhu dhaan idhu...."

R: "dei... sambandhaa sambandham illama edhavadhu olaraadha"

Gin: "nalla punch thoninaa anga anga sollidanum.....context varra varaikkum wait panna koodhadhu.... in fact love kooda apdi dhaan.. context kaaga wait panna kaanama poiduva!!"

R: "sooper karuthu da...seri.. ippo enakku innoru doubt...."

Gin: "sappaa...."

R: " ennoda school friend oru ponna rendu per saava saava sight adichaanga.... adhula oruthan paakka gethaa irupaan... sema height sema body.... aana innoruthan sema kullam.... kadaisila andha figure andha kulla payyana L panna aarambichittaa.... yen da"

Gin: "avan romba 'down to earth' a irundhirupaan da"

R: "dei... serious a solda"

Gin : "machi...serious a dhaan solren.... appearance a paathu L pandra alavukku innum ponnunga naatla cheap a erangala da"

R: " apdi paatha innoru school ponnu oruthi irundhaa da"

Gin: "dei...unga school la indha physics, chemistry, maths... idhelaam padikkavey maatengalaa...only 'social studies' a?"

R: "solradha keluda"

Gin: "solli thola"

R:" andha ponnayum rendu per love pannaanga.... oruthan sema height sema body.... innoruthan sema gundu....oru naalaikku 6 velai saapduvaan.... aanaa andha ponnu andha height body payyana L panna aarambichitaa ... idhukku enna artham?"

Gin: "andha gundu payyan orkut la 'male single' nu poi sollirupaan...."

R: "avan 'male single' dhaanda"

Gin: "oru naalaikku 6 velai saapta 'male double' nu podanum naa nyaya padi..."

R: "dei... konjamaavadhu serious a pesu da... "

Gin: " appearance paathu L panna maataanga naa ... asingama irukaravana dhaan L pannuvaangannu artham illa da muttaaal"

R : "appa....appo enakku scope irukkunnu solriyaaa?"

Gin: "solla mudiyaadhu da.... ippolaam P indha G payyanoda sutharadhaaa kelvi"

R: "dei...ennada solra?"

Gin: " paathukko...avlodhaan solluven....avana temporary variable a use panni 'aal'a swap pannida poraa..."

R: "deiiii....."

At this point a group of fellow classmates are singing 'warden machan vayasukku vandhutaan' as they cross the room where Gin and R are discussing 'life' .

Gin: "machaan.... dinner kku time aachu.... anga poi continue pannuvomaa?"

R: "seri vaa povom .. vaazhkayila yaaru mukkiyamo illayo...soru mukkiyam!!"

And thus ended another quick maanga session where useless pointless things were discussed in unnecessary detail. And am sure both Gin and R had never heard the following quote though they often put it into practise.

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time !"

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Catch up with you folks soon.

'kadi'dham.

2010-04-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: All incidents in this blog are stupid, crazy and mostly half baked truths. Resemblance to persons living, loving or laughing might not be coincidental always.

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Gin enters into his hostel room singing
" 'Gin'gle bell, 'Gin'gle bell, 'Gin'gle all the way....".

Immediately a chorus is heard as a response
"Single bell, single bell, single all the way...."

Gin: "Dei... yaaru da neengalaam? yen room la enna pannittu irukeenga?"

Suddenly he catches a glimpse of R hidden behind a few guys.
Gin: "Dei R... yaaru ivangelaam... muzhiyey seri illayey evanukkum.... namma department a dhaan irukanum... junior pasangala?"

R: "aaman da ....namma juniors dhaan...."

Gin: "dei... ragging pannittu irukiyaa da? "

R: "yaaru ...ivanungalaya...naana.... nee vera... evanunga edho match paaka TV room poittu irundhaanga...apdiyey ennayum kootittu poga vandhaanga"

Gin: "'Match'a??? enna match da?"

R: "Tennis match machi..."

Gin: "Dei... unakkenaa da dhideernu tennis la oru interest? "

R: "machi... naan chinna pullayaa irukumpodhu neraya complan kudippenaaa ..adhukku red color la oru tennis bat free a kedachudaaa....appo en edhir veetu ponnu onnu... "

Gin: "dei dei... yaarukkum yaarukkum match...adha mattum sollu...."

R: "sania mirza vs maria sharapova "

Gin: "adhaaney paathen..... sampras yaarunnu unakku theriyuma?"

R: "dei... samprasad aa?? yaaru da? edhavadhu delhi kaara arts college payyan 'P' kku route podaraanaa enna?"

Gin: "ada thoo... un tennis a kuppayila podu....anyway... idhula nee yaaru side? sania va? sharapova va?"

R: "machi... naan eppavumey refree side dhaan da .... avan dhaan da stadium la yey kuduthuvechavan da"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

Gin: "nee thirundhinaa maadhiri dhaan.... dei juniors.... ellarum kelambunga... naanga important matter discuss pannanum"

Junior: "enna... adhutha kevalathukku ready aayitirukeengalaa"

Gin : "dei... odungadaaa"

Gin runs after them while the juniors escape from the room.

Gin comes back and closes the door.

R: "yen da kadhava saathina?"

Gin: "vishayam illama saathuvenaa?"

R: "wow...enna matter?"

Gin: "adutha vaaram kalyanam"

R(blushes): "dei....poda...naan innum L-letterey kudukala...adhukulla marriage adhu idhu nnu ...cheee...vekkamaa irukku da"

Gin: "letter kudukka dhaan da unakku oru sandharbam vandhirukku"

R: "epdi da?"

Gin: "kalyanathula kuduthudu !!"

R: "deiii....ennada ...serious a solriyaa.... adhutha vaaram 'P' kku kalyanamaa? payyan yaaru....samprasad a?"

Gin: "thoo... 'P' kku unna vitta vera evan maatuvaan.... kalyanam 'Q' voda elder sisterkku"

R: "oh...appo 'Q' route clear aa?? sooooper!"

Gin: "dei... konjamavadhu seriousness oda pesu da... namakelaam oru social responsibility vendaamaa ?"

R: "ippo enna pannanumgara?"

Gin: "adutha vaaram pollachi la kalyanam.... "

R: "pora vazhila monkey falls varum da....."

Gin: ""

R: "continue..."

Gin: "ponnunga ellam bus arrange pannittu polaamaannu kettirukaanga.... ethana peru varaangannu oru list eduthuttu irukaanga....naan namma rendu per perum kuduthirukken..."

R: "very good da...enakku..."

Gin: "jannal seat venum...adhaaney?"

R: "dei...enna romba kevala paduthara...enakkum social responsibility irukku....."

Gin: "seri...appo enna solla vandha?"

R: "venaam ...adha free a vidu"

GIn: "thoo...seri ok... plan idhaan.... gethaa oru letter...urugi urugi ezhudhi vei.....pora vazhila.."

R: "post pannidalaama?"

Gin:"aandavaaa...."

R: "ok da...summa oru mokkai try pannen.... un feelings enakku puriyudhu...this time we are surely making it !"

Gin: "good.... so letter ready pannu"

R: "deiii....letter aaa.... enakku adhelaam ezhudha varaadhey da"

Gin: "letter naa... kavidhai da.... avala nenachu oru kavidhai ezhudhu...."

R: "adhu neraya ezhudhi irukken da already..."

Gin: "oh..really... wonderful... enga onnu sollu"

R:(adjusting his throat): "adiyey .."

Gin: "dei wait... indha graamathula kozhaaikku adila thanni pudikka rendu ladies sanda poduvaangaley.... avanga dhaan 'adiyey... ****' laam pesuvaanga.... decent aa.... anbey, azhagey, aaruyirey... indha maadhiri ezhudhu da..."

R: "dei...adhelaam romba yethi vidaraa maadhiri irukaadhu?"

Gin: "ethi vida dhaan da kavidhai... unmaya ezhudha aarambichom.... seri seri... mela sollu..."

R: " 'adiyey......
        unakku 'A' pondra koondalum illai....
        'A' pondra punnagaium illai.....
        'A' pondraa kannangalum illai....
        'A' pondra vannagalum illai.....
        unnai vida better ponnunga aayiram kodi...
        irundhaalum varen naan unnai thedi.....
        in short
        yen heart
        has un Art !'

epdi machi   ?"

Gin: (after a moment of silence..looking around) : " namma hostel la idhaan prachana...."

R: "enna da sambandam illama edho solra"

Gin: "warden kitta sollanum..."

R: "enna sollanum?"

Gin: "ella roomlayum kuppa thotti vekkanumnu dhaan...vera enna..."

R: "deii.... evlo feel panni ezhudhi irukken.... ipdi solriyey da"

Gin: "machan.... nee idha kondu poi ava kitta kuduthaalum ava kuppa thotti la dhaan da poduvaa....adha yen naamaley pannida koodadhu?"

R: "dei... idhey maadhiri oru kavidhaya dhaaney da last week pakkathu department payyan oruthan ezhudhinaan..... avanukku mattum ok solli vaazhthi anupcha..."

Gin: "dei... naan enna podhu sevayaa senjittu irukken...varravan poravanukelaam idea kudukka?? moreover naan strict aa oru policy follow pannittu irukken.... "

R:"enna policy...vendaikkaa policy?"

Gin: "indha maadhiri idea kettu varra pakkathu dept pasangalukelaam 'aalu-'the best'' a illanaa just 'all the best' nu solli anupchittey irukkanum"

R:"seri...appo enakku enna vazhi?"

Gin: "ezhudhi tholaikkaren.... naaney ezhudhi tholaikkaren....."

******************

Around 50 classmates travel in the bus to pollachi. As written in the vedas(or may be some other scripture..not sure), the girls occupy the front rows while the guys occupy the back rows of the bus. Also to be noted is that the so called 'gilma girls' are in the first few rows and the so called 'gilma guys' are in the last few rows while the 'non-gilma' guys are seated in rows immediately after the girls. To no surprise to the readers, we reveal where our friends R and Gin are seated.

Row number 49. (the last is full of dirt and is empty)

R:(in a low voice) : "machi... "
Gin:(even lower voice) "enna?"

R: "bus la yey kuduthudatumaa... illa pollachi poi kudukavaa?"

Gin: "adhu nee enga serupadi vaanga ready a irukkandradha poruthu"

R: "dei..."

Gin: "kavala padaadha da... bus la yey kuduthidu...."

R: "aanaa epdi... nadula indha 'M' gang irukaangaley... andha pasangala thaandi epdi poi kudukaradhu?"

Gin: "don't worry...adhelaam thaana amayum..."

R: "epdi da??"

Gin: "innum konja nerathula 'M' gang la evanavadhu oruthan... 'girls, lets play anthakshari' nnu start pannuvaan.... appo boys oru team, girls oru team nu piriyum.... appo ellarum seat la irundhu ezhundhu konja konjamaa munnadi povaanunga.... nammalum medhuvaa povom..."

R: "sooper da..."

Gin: "idho...solradhukku munnadiyey game start pannitaanga....indha pasangelaam semma sharp da"

The game starts... R uses his 'theramai' to full extent and sings may songs (of course with statistically significant glances at 'P'). Some of the songs are listed below to get a feel

"love naa lovevu ... mannenna stovevvu .... "

"vaa munimaa vaa... neeyum naanum jodi...summa beach pakkam vaadi"
"laalaakku dol dappi maa..kanney gangamma" (there is a small confusion in the group whether the song really starts with 'la' or not... but then 'R' wins the argument skillfully (read as 'shouting at the peak of his voice) )

The bus reaches pollachi. The group gets down.

Gin: "naasamaa pochu"

R : "yendaa... unnoda cooling glass kondu vara marandhutiyaa?? damn..its a hot place man!"

Gin: "dei... bus la nalla chance ellam miss pannitta.... ingayavadhu sodhapaama kudu... ok va?"

R: "machi...anga paaru...dhoorathula...edho pada shooting nadakudhunnu nenaikaren... 'pudhu nellu pudhu naathu - part 2 ' varudhu nnu sonnanga...adhuvaa dhaan irukkanum.....poi paakalaama da?"

Gin: "dei....."

R: "illa da... actually ippolaam gramathu ponnunga kooda jacket pottutu dhaan padathula nadikaraangalaam... so poradhu waste nu nenaikaren..."

Gin: "dei...endaa ivlo cheap aa pesara..."

R: "seri costly a pesaren....machan... rendu elaneer vaangi thaa da"

Gin: "ayyo....seri vandhu thola..."

*******************************

At the marriage hall.

'Q' recieves everyone and serves them some drinks. Then she introduces the group as a whole to her father, mother and younger sister 'q'. After thanking everyone for coming and all the usuals, she leaves hurriedly as if the whole marriage depended on her. (actually, everyone in the girls side seems busy in marriages.... the author wonders why!)

R and Gin are seen sitting seperately in a corner where there is a big table fan nearby.

R: "dei... 'q' varaa da... edhavadhu pechu kudupomaa?"

Gin: "chinna ponnu da...avala kalaaikka poriyaa...?"

R: "cha cha... unakku therama pathala Gin...ippo gavani"

'q' walks by.

R: "hey 'q' .... hello"

'q': "hello anna"

R: "i am 'R' ... you are?"

'q' : "adhaan 'q' nnu koopteenga illa...aprom enna 'you are' ?'

R: "he he..."

'q' : "sollunga... edhukku koopteenga?"

R: "which class are you studying?"

'q' : "naan ettavadhu vaguppu padikkindren"

R: "he he... "

'q' : "enna sirippu..."

R: "summa dhaan....seri.... ethana varushamaa 8th std padikara???"

'q': "akkkaaaaaaaaa.... neenga sonna rowdy anna enna kindal pandraangaaa....."

'q' runs towards 'Q' .. 'R' stops her...

R: "ok ok....kathaadha 'q' ...naan unakku chocolate vaangi tharen..."

'q' : "dairy milk?"

R : "seri ok.... 5rs or 10 rs?"

'q' :"seriyaana kanjoos aa neenga?"

R: "seri seri... rendumey vaangi tharen....enakku oru help pannuviyaa?"

'q' : "enna letter kudukanumaa?"

R: "aaa.... epdi theriyum...i mean....edha vechu solra..."

'q' : "hayyo... solli tholainga.... endha akka kku.... akka dhaaney.... ?"

R: "mosamaana ponnaa irukka.... akka dhaan...."

'q' :"seri kudunga...."

R gives the letter to 'q'.

R: "adho... anga oru akka blue chudi pottuttu sema figure a irukaanga illa...
andha akka kitta kudukariyaa?"

'q' : "kandippa"

'q' starts running towards 'P'.

R: "yey... 'q' ...wait..... nillu....hello.....wait...WAIT..."

Gin: "dei..kathaadha da.... kalyanathula prachana nnu nenaikka poraanga..."

R: "dei.... 'idhu verum letter illa...yen idhayam' nu solli kudukalaamnu irundhen...adhukulla odi poittaa..."

Gin: "vairamuthu machan maadhiriyey pesaadheenga da..."

A few seconds of silence prevails. 'R' tries to keep track of 'q' but loses sight of both 'q' and 'P'... he slowly starts to get tensed. Gin suddenly seems dumbstruck. He keeps on staring at 'R' for more than a minute. Suddenly he realises something...

Gin: "machi.... naan ezhudhi kudutha kavidhaya apdiyey kuduthiyaa... illa nee ezhudhi kuduthiyaa? "

R: "apdiyey dhaan da kuduthen...yen da?"

Gin: "ayyayo..... naasamaa pochu..."

R: "yen da... kavidhaila problem a .. paravalla da... 'P' kku avlo thamizh nyanam laa kedayaadhu..."

Gin: "dei machi...sorry da..."

R: "enna da solra?edhukku sorry..."

Gin: "as usual sodhapitten da.... letter la kadaisila 'ippadikku aanbudan,Gin' nnu pottuten da..."

R: "deeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... "

*******************

Exactly twenty three minutes after the incident. R and Gin are seen sitting in a super-fast deluxe bus from pollachi-coimbatore.

R: "dei... ippo 'P' adha padichaa enna da nenaippa.... unna L panna aarambichiduvaalaa da?"

Gin :"dei...enakku enna solradhunney theriyala da..."

R: "dei... atleast angayey irundhu problem a solve pannirukalaam... theva illama odi vandhuttom"

Gin: "dei...enakku enna solradhunney theriyala da...."

R: "dei.... ithana naal nee dhaaney da idea kudutha...edhavadhu idea kudu daa..."

Gin :"dei...enakku enna solradhunney theriyala da"

Suddenlly 'R's cellphone vibrates...

Message Recieved.
Sender: 'P'

Gin: "machi...venaam da...andha message a paakaadha....apdiyey delete pannidu da.... enakku romba bayamaa irukku da..."

R: "dei... vidra... varutha pada vendiyadhu naan.... neen yen bayapadara..."

Gin: "seri ok..pirichu padi..."

Message:
" wht a shock.. never suspected Gin's crush on 'Q' .... they really mk a gr8 pair ..where are u guys now? 'Q' wants to tlk with Gin."

R: "Dei machiiiiiiii...... 'q' letter a 'P' kitta kudukala da.... 'Q' kitta kuduthirukkaa...."

Gin takes a few seconds to come out of the spell.

Gin :"dei...enakku enna solradhuney theriyala da"

R: "enakku enna solradhunnu theriyum da...... DRIVER.....HOLD ONNNNNN!!!"

*************************-------[SCREEN CLOSES] --------- ***********************

Naai pozhappu

2010-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hello Folks, Listen up!
This one is a 'follow up' post. What that means is that,you are required to have some pre-requisites before reading this one. In fact if you have sincerely taken notes during previous lectures, this really is just a cake walk. But for the disobedient lot who did not care to do it, i give one last chance. Read at least one 'kevalam' of R from P before proceeding to read this. If you are keen on the exact historical facts, then you should read

'Assattu Pasanga'
while any other post also should not really affect the flow of what follows.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The Generic Kevalam happens the previous day]

Gin and R are seen at 'bhajji' kadai.

R: "Machi... cha... maasa kadaisi ... pizza hut poittu irundha namma ipdi bhajji kadaikku vara vendiyadhaa pochey..."

Gin: "Dei dei ... pona varam maanga session la 'pizza' na ennannu ketadhukku periya size bhajji nnu solli kevalam vaanginavan dhaaney da nee...."

R: "seri vidra... konja naala enakku time workout aagalennu nenaikaren...enna pandradhu"

Gin:" konja naala illa da... ennaikku nee P a paathu J vida aarambichiyo ...annaila irundhey unakku ketta neram dhaan nnu enakku oru feeling"

R: "dei... P kkum idhukkum ennada sambandham... in fact P a paatha andha first sight la yey...."

Gin: "dei dei...niruthu da...."

R: "machi... unakku idhelaam puriyaadhu da... "

Gin: "enna puriyaadhu... onnu solren kettuko ... ponnungalukku laam 80385 architecture maadhiri... instruction set ennannu therinjaa podhum...easy a tackle pannidalaam...."

R: "class la mokka thaangalannu dhaan cut adichittu inga vandhen... ingayum torture pandriyey da..."

Gin: "seri...appo nee dhaan sollen...enakku enna puriyala ..unakku enna purinjudhu nnu"

R: " machi... 'love at first sight' na ennannu unakku theriyumaa?"

Gin: "modhal murai sight adikum podhey kooda side la love um panna start pandradhu dhaaney?"

R: "cha... kaadhal deiveegamaanadhu da..."

Gin: "oho..."

R: "ippo...oru analogy solren kettukko..."

Gin: "shoot"

R: "pasanga idhayam'garadhu stove la kodhikkara ennai maadhiri.... ponnunga eyes kadalai-maavu la kalandha urulakizhangu maadhiri.... mudhal murai maava ennaila podum podhey...apdiyey pongi ... bhajji a maarudhillaya.... adhumaadhiri dhaan love at first sight um"

Gin: "machan... idha idhukku munnadi pick-up line a use panna try pannirukiyaa? "

R: "illa da .. "

Gin: "dhayavu senji try pannidadha... enga family la yaarumey idhu varaikkum police station vaasala medichadhilla"

R: "dei... naaney sema kadila irukken... nee vera enna provoke pannittu irukka..."

Gin: "ok machan... back to seriousness ... nethu nadandha kevalam unna baadhichiduchu...apdidhaaney"

R: ""

Gin: "seri... ippo adhukku enna pannalaamnu nenaikara?"

R:(to the shopkeeper) "anna... ulundhu vada podareengala"

Gin: "dei..."

R: "machi... en vaai ulundhu vada nnu sonnalum en heart vizhundu odanjidha nee purinjikanum"

Gin: "ayyo...seri ok... ippo enna pannalaam.... ... aah...machi... kadavul nammala kai vidala da"

R: "yenda...ulundhu vada already irukka?"

Gin: "thoo... anga paar"

R:(looks at the direction pointed by Gin) " aah... 'Q' ... iva enga inga vandhaa? iva day-schi aachey... "

Gin: " innaikku tuesday ... class mudinju kovilukku poittu irukka.... "

R: "seri.. ippo ivala enna pannanum?"

Gin: "saami...ivala nee edhuvum pannidaadha... already nee pannadha seri kattavey naan padara paadu enakku dhaan theriyum"

R: "aprom edhukku da avala kaatina?"

Gin: "machi... P and Q are thick friends da... "

R : "oh... very good idea.. naan Q pinnadi suthara maadhiri oru idea panni... P and Q nadula irukara natpa murichidalaam...adhaaney"

Gin: "unnalaam sathiyama thirutha mudiyaadhu da.... indha ulagathula edhai venumnaa easy a pirikalaam...aana ponnunga frienship a mattum pirikavey mudiyaadhu....adhu pasanga frienship maadhiri innaikku vandhu naalaikku poradhu kedaiyaadhu....it is a normally a very strong bond...namma pirikka try pannalum mudiyaadhu... vangalaa pirinjaa dhaan undu...aana neraya cases la avangaley pirinjiduvaangandradhu vera vishayam"

R: "ippo kadaisiyila enna dhaan un point"

Gin: "solren kettuko... P kku naalaikku birthday "

R: "varra vazhila naan dhaaney da unakku sonnen"

Gin: "yes... nee avalukku vaangi vechirukkara gift a kudu!"

R: "machi...gift ippo kooda pocket la irukku...aana kudukka dhaaney bayama irukkunnu sonnen illa"

Gin: "adhukku dhaan 'P' kkum 'R' kkum nadula alphabets la kadavul oru 'Q' va kuduthirukaar...."

R: "wow ... aana 'Q' va epdi correct pandradhu... i mean... iva enakku romba close laam illayey.... "

Gin: "i know...aana avalukku oru weakness irukku"

R: "dei... nee stack la dhaan strong nnu nenachen...'Q' la adha vida strong a irukkiyey da...enna weakness machi"

Gin: "SCN weakness"

R: "SCN a? apdeena?"

Gin: "adhu oru high-class pasanga ponnunga lukku varra weakness.... 'So Cute No?' weakness"

R: "apdeenaa?"

Gin: "konjam sumaaraa edhavadhu irundhaa udaney ... 'So Cute No?' apdeennu sollitey adhu pakathula poiduvaanga...."

R: "oh!"

Gin: "naai kutti .. teddy bear ... sila ponnungalukku husband kooda indha category la varum naa paathukko"

R :" wow...so cute no?"

Gin: "thoo...unakkelaam varaadhuda... adhelaam thaanaa varanum...its a mark of a genuine class... infact a mark of care and affection...."

R: "seri...ennamo solra... indha moonula 'Q' kku edhula weakness?"

Gin: "naai kutti !"

R: "oh...so cute no? dei..indha vaati nejamaavey thaana vandhidichu da... "

Gin: "sappaaa.... seri ... anga paar...naan sollala.... ava already oru naai a konji ttu irukka.... "

R: "adhutha jenmathula..."

Gin: "stop..nee enna nenaikarannu puriyudhu... but ippo naan solradha sei"

R: "shoot"

Gin: "nera pakathula irukara maliga kadaikku po... oru packet 'naai biscuit' vaangu....kondu poi 'Q' kitta kudu... konja neram pesu...return varum podhu apdiyey 'P' gift a kuduthu naalaikku P kku kudukka sollidu...."

R "idhukku dhaan da oorukku oru Gin venumgaradhu"

Gin : "seri...bhajji kku pay pannittu poi sonnadha senjittu vaa... naan andha side la edho 'vera' maadhiri poster onnu ottirukaan...enna karuthu solraangannu paathuttu varen"

R eventually buys the 'naai biscuit' and tries to follow what Gin explained.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P's Birthday (Date not revealed as per request !)

R comes running like a mad man into Gins room...

R: "pochu ... pochu... ellamey pochu da..."

Gin: "dei...ennada aachu?"

R: "aayo ... ayyo.... pochey pochey"

Gin: "ennada pochu?"

R: "indha 'Q' ipdi kozhapitaaley da...."

Gin: "dei...ennada solra?"

R: "machi...nethu naan kondu poi biscuit a koduthenaa...."

Gin: "aamaam"

R: "adhu cover kulla irundhudhaa"

Gin: "seri...so?"

R: "adhu ennanu ava kitta sollavey illa da naan... avala paathu edho olaritten da...kadaisiyila 'P' kku kudukka vendiya gift a yum kuduthen da"

Gin: "ippo enna da problem?"

R: "'Q' veetukku poi ..andha cover nalla illanu ava veetu velakaaran kitta solli andha cover remove panni gift wrap pannittu vara sollitaa da"

GIn: "edha daaA?????"

R: "naai biscuit cover dhaanda !!!"

Gin: "dei...!!!!"

R: "adhu ippo 'P' kitta irukku da !!!"

Gin: "naasamaa pochu.... idhu epdi unakku theriyum?"

R: "'Q' dhaan sonna.... oru gift kuduthaa ozhungaa wrap panna maatiyaanu...appo dhaan shock aayitten"

Gin: "appo unnoda actual gift?"

R:"theriyala da...semma confusion aa irukku enakku!"

Gin: "kavala padadha da.... there is a solution to every avamanam ... "

R : " dei !!"

Gin: "machi..serious a solren....naai biscuit saaptaa naai maadhiri maariduvaangannu naan oru magazine la padicha nyabagam da"
R:" comedy pannadah da...ippo naan enna pandradhu?"
Gin: "nerla pesinaa serupadi dhaan...pesaama browsing center poi 'P' kooda chat pannuvom...enna solra?"

R: "ok...vaa"

--------------------------------

At the browsing center.
yellow color yahoo messenger.

Gin: "machi online irukka...ping pannu da"

R: "ok.."
R: Hai P

P: Hi

R: Hai

Gin: " Dei ..ethana vaati dhaan da 'hai' nnu adippa..."
R : "aprom... 'nai' nu adikka solriyaa?"
Gin: "dei... happy birthday solda vetti"

R: Happy Birthday P

             P: Thanks... your gift was awesome... lol

Gin: "Dei...ennada 'lol' ngara ...sirikaraalaa...kolaikaraalaannu theriyalayey !"

R    : "dei...ippo enna da pandradhu!"

              R: thank you P ... did u ...i mean... did u eat it?

Gin: "ha ha ha... sorry da...enna la control panna mudiyala!"
R : "en vaazhkaiya paatha unakku siripaa irukaa da?"
Gin : "wait pannu.... indha reply a poruthu dhaan adha confirm panna mudiyum"

   P: Of course i did !

Gin: " machi...naan call taxi kku phone pandren.... nee stretcher ready pannu.... pinnadi dhaan hospital .... "

P: u know wat ... My best friends from chennai sent me an expensive kutha type dress for the b'day.... i liked it very much"
P : typo... kurtha type :P

Gin jumps on the keyboard and types the first line after which R takes over.

   R: wow... nai-du hall la purchase pannangala?
                 P: ha ha... yen kekkara?
                R: illa...actually... enakku therinjavaru oruthar anga vela paakaraar ... adhaan...summa..
                 P: lol..enna aachu unakku...? btw, wanted to tell u this...

Gin: "machan.... sandhegamey illa... ava konja konja maa maarittey varaannu artham.... "
R: " dei.... summa iru da..."
Gin: "nee venumnaa unix la yey unakku pidicha command edhu nnu kettu paar... tail nu solluvaa... ha ha"
R: " dei dei...pls da..plssssss"
Gin:" ok...silence "

R: yeah... go ahead....enna matter?

P : i don't know why you wanted to gift me the biscuit packet :P ... but i love the color and design on the wrapper! in fact i haven't yet torn open the wrapper... its so cute ..u have a beautiful taste !

Gin at this point is seen literally rolling on the floor ... R could not control the huge smile that erupted like a bomb. Gin is the first to get out of the laughing riot .. he turns slowly towards R and says

" Machan..... naan ponnunga vishayathula killadi killadi nnu pala murai sollirukken....aanaa ippo andha statement a withdraw pannikaren da...... ... avan avan aalukaaga taj mahal rangekku katta try pannittu irukaan.... aanaa nee.... simple a 15 rooba naai biscuit kuduthu correct pannitta ...... inimey.... indha college in 'naayagan' nee dhaanda .... i take a 'BOW' .... literally !!!!!!"

[And the laughter bomb blows up again]

Assattu pasanga...

2010-04-08T04:43:00.000-07:00

R rushes into Gin's room as early as 6'o clock in the morning. To his surprise, Gin is seen awake.
In fact he is in his sports outfit and is seen wearing the socks.

R: "Dei...ennada kaalankaarthaala enga da kelambitta?"

Gin: "paathaa theriyala?"

R: "unakku dhaan endha game um velayada theriyadhey da...aprom enga poittu irukka?"

Gin: "dei... enakku cricket, basketball, hockey maadhiri games laam dhaan velayada theriyadhu... actuallaa interest illa....illa...actualla velaya theriyaadhu dhaan better answer.... aanaa 'timing' games la naan killadi..infact naan dhaan number one"

R: "timing gamesa?? apdeena? indha football la correcta watch a paathu half time la whistle oodharadhu...andha maadhiri ? unakku dhaan whistle kooda ozhunga adikka varaadhey da..."

Gin: "silly coin boys (silra pasanga) da nee... seri...nee edhukku vandha ivlo early morning la ...adha modhalla sollu..."

R: "no no... adhu important matter dhaan... but idhu theriyaatti enakku mandayey vedichidum pola irukkum"

Gin: "seri solren.. kettukko...aana veliya sollidhaadha"

R: "shoot"

Gin: "ippo naan enga poittu irukken naa..."

R: "football ground? ... basket ball court?....seri moraikaadha.. neeyey sollu"

Gin: "NMB (bakery) kku poittu irukken... poi soodaa oru coffee .. 100 grams murukku adichittu oru 6:30 - 6:45 pakkamaa thirumba hostel kku vandhuduven..."

R: "adhukku yendaa sports outfit la pora"

Gin: "adhaan timing game oda speciality .... 6:45 kku sharp a namma college NSS -girls ground kku practise panna varuvaanga.... appo naan jogging pannittey hostelkku varuven.... sema gethaa oru feeling varum..."

R:" avangalukkaa?"

Gin: "illa enakku..."

R: "ada thoo... indha game la nee number one mattum illa da... 'only one' um dhaan nu nenaikaren..."

Gin:" unnecessary a pesaadha...nee vandha matter a sollu...enakku time aagudhu...in life and love, punctuality is more important than personality .. kelvi pattadhilla "

R: "illa"

Gin: "huh....silly coin boys !"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

After a few minutes.
Both Gin and R are seen jogging slowly towards NMB in sports outfit. Their conversation continues.

Gin: "enna da prachana"

R: "SMS la oru confusion aayiduchu da..."

Gin: "machan onnu solren kettuko.... pudhusaa ponnungaloda mobile la pesaravangalukku SMS na 'Sodhanai Mel Sodhanai' nu artham... konjam careless aa irundhom pala confusion vandhudum..."

R: "exactly da... golden words"

Gin: "NMB la naan vaangi tharen...adhukaaga ipdi laam bit ottadha...matter a sollu"

R: "nethu night avalukku oru message anupchen da"

Gin:"yaarukku ... P ?"

R: " yes"

Gin:"just confirm pannikitten... ulagam pora speed la eppo evan edha maathuvaannu judge pannavey mudiyaradhilla...nee mela sollu"

R:" casual a dhaan da books, semester , exams pathi laam sms pannittu irundhom"

Gin: "yenda....vazhakama indha pudhusaa release aana sharukh khan padam .. illa sun sign ,moon sign, star sign .... illa first crush...second love...third date...indha maadhiri dhaaney sms pannipeenga.... "

R: "no da... we are a different kind of friends"

Gin: "apdinaa?...vera vera maadhiri cellphone balance waste pannuveenga...adhaaney"

R: "ippo nee vishayatha kekka poriyaa illaya"

Gin: "shoot"

R: "kadaisila .... 'have u finished all assignments' nnu ketta daa "

Gin: "seri...adhula enna problem?"

R: "adhula problem edhuvum illa da... naan adicha reply la dhaan problem"

Gin: "indha saadharana kelvikku apdi enna da bayangara reply adicha?"

R: "konjam sms lingo use panna try pannen da....adha ava thappa purinjikitta"

Gin:" dei..avan avan vaaila irundhu siva-lingomey edukaraan... adhayey makkal thappa purinjika maatengaraanga.... afterall sms-lingo ... idhula enna aachu...apdi enna reply panna?"

R shows the message from his sent-message folder.
It reads
"no pa... i haven't touched any ass from the morning till now"

Silence.

Silence.
More silence.
Even more silence.

Finally Gin breaks it with a roaring laughter...

Gin: "Machi.... idhukku orey oru vazhi dhaan irukku....."

R (with a grim face) : "dei...solda.....pls da..."

Gin:(still laughing as he speaks) "neeyum en kooda serndhu vizhundhu vizhundhu ..kavundhu kavundhu siri da... vera vazhiyey illa....enakaavadhu NSS la dhaan interest...aana unakku......A** ... ha ha.... dei machi.... idhu oru historical event da.... infact oru kick ass event ... idha namma celebrate pannuvom.....vaa naan unakku vaangi tharen NMB la murukku innaikku"

And thus legend has it that Gin for the first time in history, civics and other allied sciences, whole-assedly paid for R's murukku at NMB.

சய்பர் crimes !

2010-03-31T03:45:00.000-07:00

First things first.

The title of this post is NOT 'cyber crimes' . We are talking about an age where poor computer science engineering students were using 31/2 inch floppy drives to transfer C assignment programs (palindrome program for example where the teacher invariably always gave 'malayalam' or 'madam' as the test input) from one desktop to another . The Internet had not yet become part and parcel of student's lives and there was no concept of cyber crimes yet. (Of course there was the infamous Dr.Prakash and his leelais were well known to students, but then that was it. ) . So we are forced to give a different interpretation to the title of this post. And that needs some complicated knowledge of செந்தமிழ் . (evil smile)
Don't be disheartened so soon. Its not that tough.
சய்பர் simply means Zero. Though the author could have used பூஜ்யம் , முட்டை , ஒண்ணுமில்ல , ஜீரோ etc to mean ejjactly (thats a tamil word btw) the same thing, he preferred to use the less well known சய்பர் just because it is his own bloody blog and he can choose how he wants to scribble in it.

Now to the real post ->
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R runs into Gin's room in excitement. Gin is sound asleep ( you know where the sound is coming from) with a blanket over his face. R hurriedly wakes Gin up. Gin answers without removing the blanket.

Gin: "Dei.......en..n..a...da ..."
R: " dei...ezhundhuru da.... mukkiyamana vishayam"
Gin: " ada poda ... 2006 la ulagamey azhiya pogudhu....nee vera... poi paduthu thoongu da"
R (thinks for a sec) : "2006 la ulagam azhiyapogudha...ayyayo...yenda?"
Gin: "nee B.E degree vaangiduviyey.... "
R: "thoo... naa kooda nejamo nnu nenachu bayandhutten.... evlo plans pottu vechirukken adhukapparam"
Gin: "dei... thoonga vidudaa.... edhuvaa irundhaalum kaalaila pesikalaam"
R: "kaalaila varaikkum time illa machan... thala pora vishayam"
Gin: "maanamey poidhuchu... thala irundhu enna panna pogudhu... poittu pogattum"
R: "ippo nee ezhundhirukka poriyaa illaya"
Gin: " chancey illa.... "
R: "seri ... unna vera maadhiri tackle pandren ... "
Gin: "knorrrrrrrr"
R: "machan.. nalla yosichu sollu... unakku 'appa amma' vilayaattu vilayada oru chance vaangi tharalaamnu paathen.... vendaamnu paduthu thoongara"

Gins back automatically straightens perpendicular to the floor and the suddenly the blanket is seen lying on the floor.

Gin: " ennada solra????????"
R: " guess pannu"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

Gin: "kandippa mokka dhaan poda pora...eppadiyo ezhupitta illa... vandha matter a yavadhu solli thola"
R: "illa machan... nejamaavey dhaan.... namma class la ella pasangalum ponnungalum indha vilayaatta velayada poraangalaamey.....G sonnaan... "
Gin (thinks for a sec) : "ada thoo.... pattikaatu payyannu marubadiyum marubadiyum prove pandriyey.... adhu chris ma- chris pa nnu oru velayaattu da"
R: "oh...appo andha G enna yemaathitaanaa ?"
Gin: "indha avamanatha veliya solladha...evanavadhu varungalathula idha vechu blog ezhudhi famous aanaalum aaiduvaanunga...."
R: "ok...marachidaren...seri appo andha velayaatula enna dhaan pannanum"
Gin: "adhu oru sema mokka game da... "
R: "dei... interesting a irukumnu G sonnaan da ...rules ennannu solda"
Gin: " ayyo..thala ezhuthu...seri solren kettuko"
R: "ready.shoot."
Gin: "class la irukara pasanga perelaam ovvoru chit la ezhudhi oru dabba kulla poduvaanga.... adhula irundhu ella ponnungalum oru oru chit edhupaanga.... endha payyan peru varudho... avanukku andha ponnu dhaan 'chris ma' ....puriyudhaa"
R: "nag-ma theriyum ... chris-ma na? "
Gin: "seri nag-ma ney vechukko...periya vithiyasam laa onnum illa"
R: "seri... aprom"
Gin: "adhey maadhiri pasangalum ponnu pera edupaanga"
R: "super da.... aprom aprom"
Gin: "aprom dhaan kodumayey"
R: "?"
Gin: "nee unnoda chris-child kku 'dare' kodukanum"
R: "dare yaaru? endha college"
Gin: "dei...vidra... idhelaam unakku seri pattu varaadhu"
R: "dei...pls da"
Gin: "ayyo..ivan tholla thaangalayey.... dare na edhavadhu panna sollanum da..adha avanga class la pannuvaanga"
R: "enna oru kalai nayathoda yosichirukaanga ... idhu allavo game"
Gin: " idhey maadhiri maathi maathi kadiya pottuttu irupaanga oru maasathukku.... "
R: "kadaisila enna aagum"
Gin:" neraya panam selavaagum"
R : "ennada solra?"
Gin: "adhu unakku ippo puriyaadhu... game velayaadi mudi...thaanaa puriyum"
R: "ippo dhaan da puriyudhu.... G edukku NMB la treat ketaannu"
Gin: "G a? treat a? avan edhukku kettan? ennada kozhapara?"
R: "pasangalaam already ponnunga chit eduthutaanga pola irukku.... G kku P chit vandhirukaam...adha enakku tharen.... NMB la treat thariyaannu kettaan"
Gin: "ada paavigalaa.... idha business a vey maathitaangalaa..... nee enna sonna?"
R: "expert advice kettuttu varen nnu solli inga vandhutten.... "
Gin: "nalla kaariyam pannina.... idhu oru mokka game da... indha valayila mattum vizhundudaadha... naan idea tharen unakku... P a L aakka ... "
R: "L a...oh L aaa"
Gin: "Naan indha vishayathula killadi nnu unakkey theriyum"
R: " aanaa innonnu vera sonnan da G.... "
Gin: "?"
R: "already edho dare koduthirukaanaam P kku"
Gin: "aahaa.... oru naal college pogaama room la paduthu thoonginaa pala pala matter nadandiduchaa adhukulla..... enna dare?"
R: "Come alone to peoples park hotel this saturday evening at 6 PM ...wait for a surprise."
Gin: "machan... indha G kitta romba careful a irukanum da... illanaa P namma...i mean.. un kaiyya vittu poiduvaa"
R: "dei...ippo ennada panna solra"
Gin:" hotel la treat vekkaatti avan unakku total-la vettu vechiduvaan.... "
R: "appo P chit a vaangidalaamnu solriya? idhu thappilaya?"
Gin:"idhua ennada thappu.... chinna vayasula hours together business nu oru somba game nee aadhinadhu illa.... indha indore, delhi nnu city ellam vaanguvaangaley... andha maadhiri nenachikko... "
R: "machi... andha game la oru orathula Jail nnu onnu irukumey da... naan adikadi adhula poi maatuven da"
Gin: "risk edu da.... jail kku bayandhu mayil la vittudadha...avlodhaan solluven"
R: "seri ok... P chit a vaangidaren ... aanaa saturday evening 6 manikku peoples park hotel kku ava varuvaaley...appo enna surprise tharadhu da avalukku .. avala paathaley enakku kaiyelaam nadungumey .. kannelaam sokkumey ... "

Gin: "ava enna operating system final exam question papera? nadungum .. sokkum ngara"
R: " dei... enakku practise venum da machi... innum oru vaaram dhaan irukku.... direct a poi saturday thaniya... hotel la...chancey illa machan"
Gin: "ippo unakku enna problem?"
R: "i need practise da"
Gin: "seri vaa.. innailairundu friday varaikkum daily moonu velayum hotel polaam.. enakku saapda rendu masala dosai vaangi koduthuttu nee side la practise pannittey iru"
R: "dei..verupethaadha....unna nambi dhaan da irukken"
Gin: "yosikaren..... aaa ... oru idea.... "
R: "idhukku dhaan oorukku oru Gin venumgaradhu"
Gin: "gavanamaa kettuko .... pudhusaa internet la orkut nu oru website vandhirukku..... "
R: "adhula first-meeting tips laam irukumaa?"
Gin: "cha cha.... adhu oru social networking website"
R: "networking aa? naan andha subject la almost cup vechen da... andha vaathiyar mattum kaila kedachaan..."
Gin:" verum networking illa da...social networking"
R: "dei..school la naan social exam la yum fail aayirukken da...especially history... battle of panipuri aa...edho onnu varumey"
Gin: "ayyo...konja neram vaaya moodittu solradhu kekkariyaa"
R: "seri sollu"
Gin: "ippo browsing center povom.... andha website la register pannuvom... en kitta invites irukku.... aprom coimbatore la yey edhavadhu oru ponnu a pidippom.... adhukku friend request anuppuvom .... "
R: "friend request aa? apdeenaa? puriyalayey"
Gin: "idhula unakku enna puriyala... friend a irukka request"
R: "oh..nalla idea va irukkey....appo lover request, husband request laam kooda irukka.... ivlo simple matter theriyaama pochey"
Gin: " 7 kku aprom enna?"
R: "??"
Gin: "natural numbers la 7 kku aprom enna"
R:"8 ..enda?"
Gin: "kambi correct aa ennuviyaannu paathen"
R: "dei..."
Gin:"appo...vaaya moodittu en kooda kelambi browsing center kku vaa"

At the browsing center.
www.orkut.com

R: "orkut! ... idhukku enna da artham... nee dhaan word list laam padikarayey...solda"
Gin: "orkut na.... adhu oru idhu da"
R : "edhu?"
Gin: "ippo unakku idea venumaa vendaama?"
R: "venum...venum..."
Gin: "appo solradha sei.... coimbatore la yey oru azhagana figure profile a first kandupudi"
R: "dei.... adhu epdi da kandupudikaradhu"
Gin: " simple two step idea... step one: namma class la ponnunga peru illadha maadhiri oru ponnu peru sollu"
R: "hmm..... seetha"
Gin: " romba old fashioned a irukku.... konjam maathu"
R: "seri...Reetha"
Gin: "ayyo.... seri ok... ippo step 2... 'e' a 'i' aala replace pannu.... 'h' a remove pannu...."
R: "hmm... R...I... Rita"
Gin: "ok..figure ready.... search pannu"
R: "nee engayo poitta da"
Gin: "one hour kku 30 rs browsing charge...seekiram search pannu"
R : " Rita nu search panna solriya?"
Gin: "seri naaney pandren"

Gin searches for the following terms.

Rita
Coimbatore
Female
****** (the name of the school)
Chennai
****** (the name of the college)

And finally finds a profile as he likes.

R: "machi...school ponna?"
Gin: "illa...first year college ponnu ... aana endha school ngaradhu romba mukkiyam... ippo chennai la indha college kku semester leave ...iva veetukku vandhiruppa....idhaan chance..friend request anuppu..."
R:"machi super da... who knows... naalaikku ivaley enakku correct aanalum aagalaam"
Gin:"dei...ava photo va uthu paar.... ivala mattum nee correct pannina..ivalukku teddy bear vaangi koduthey pichakaaran aayiduva"
R: "dei.... aprom edhukku da ivlo hi range figure kku friend request anuppa solra...edho mid-range la anupchaa podhaadha"

Gin: "anga dhaan nee oru universal rule a purinjikanum .... maambazham marathula romba mela irukunnu parikaamayey vittutanaa....kadaisiyila kaakaa kothittu poidum"
R: "enna oru thathuvam.... ippo naan maanga va .. kaaka va"
Gin: "thenga...co ..co ..nut"
R: "dei"
Gin: "appo vaaya moodittu anuppu da request a"
R: "ok da... iva kitta pesi practise pannikanum...apdi dhaaney?"
Gin: "ejjactly"
R: "oru vaarathukku aprom ivala enna pandradhu"
Gin: "kavala padaadha...adhukapparam avaley unna madhikka maatta"
R: "adhu epdi da avlo sure a solra"
Gin: "ovvoru payyanukku oru threshold time irukku da.... adhu unakku romba kammi.... nee epdinnu one week kulla ava kandupudikalanaa ava unna vida mosam nu artham"
R: "ennamo solra..."
Gin: "seri...enakku neraya vela irukku... nee browsing mudichittu hostel vandhu seru"

After a couple of days.

At Gin's room.

Gin: "ennada .... innaikku saturday evening ... kadandha naalu naalaa aaley kaanom"
R: "full time browsing center la dhaan da irundhen...."
Gin: "wow"
R: "adhu ennamo scrapbook aamey.... orkut la... adhula dhaan naanum Rita vum pesikittom"
Gin: "super da.... enna solra Rita"
R: "she is a wonderful girl machi...sema open"
Gin: "ohhhhh....ho"
R: "in fact enna ketta vaarthayalalaam thittina... i mean...chellamaa..u know...jus lik tat"
Gin: "ohhhhh...ho..ho"
R: "avalukku enna romba pidichu pochu machi... in fact i told her abt this chris-ma thingy also"
Gin: "ohhhhh...ho..ho..ho"
R : "infact P ya vida enakennamo ...i feel.... "

R's cellphone vibrates
R: "just a min da...Ritu va dhaan irukkanum....he he... not sure how she got my number...ha ha.... naughty gurl"

R reads the msg.... his face expression suddenly changes... he starts hurriedly towards the door. Gin runs up and pulls the cellphone from Rs hand. Reads the message.

Sender: P
Message1: "Next time use private msg in orkut. Scrap book is open."
Gin stares at R.
cellphone goes <<<>>>

Message recieved.
Sender: P
Message2:
"btw,Rits is my school buddy.she is irritated abt the whole episode.So am i.
And don't even dream of people's park today"

Gin hands over the cellphone to R. R takes a look at the second msg. Get shocked.
Silence prevails for a few seconds.

R: "machi...enna da idhu...ipdi aayiduchu"
Gin:"sorry machan.... idha naan sathiyamaa edhir paarkala da... "
R: "machi...enakku adha pathilaam kooda perusa kavala illa da"
Gin: "aprom????????"
R: "andha Rita ponnu kitta unna pathi romba high level la vera sollitten da... ippo enakku ketta peru...unakku nalla peru vandhidum P kitta"

Gin's eyes brighten up.... lighten up.... mouth's a big curve now.
Gin puts his head down, controls laughter and slowly moves out of the door. And once he makes sure he is atleast a few feet away from R, shouts at the peak of his voice and starts running like a madman in the hostel lounge

"Machi.....kavala padaadha..... Preethi kku inimey naan guaranteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

[The chase as usual begins]

Purpose of life.

2010-02-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,
Gin and R are back in this one after popular demand.(well actually there was only one person who requested it and since he seemed popular enough, i will stick to the phrase).

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Gin sings casually as he enters the hostel room of R - "idhu oru Gin maalai pozhudhu... vaana magal naanugiraal ... avamaanangalai veesugiraal ...A E O AEO "

As he opens the door, he finds to his surprise a gang of atleast 5-10 of his classmates sitting in the two-inmate room in various twisted positions (no, nothing other than what meets the eye is meant here) and chatting with each other. R as usual seems to be the leader of the conversation. To avoid cluttering the notation, in what follows we will indicate all other people in the room by VP-i ( where i belongs to set of natural numbers) and where VP can be expanded as "Vetti Payyan". As the individual identity of each of these VPs is not important in any way to our purposes, we can assume this statement holds without loss of generality.

R(addressing the group): "machan... namakelaam vayasu aagittey pogudhu .. thirumbi paakaradhukulla third year vandhuttom..hmmmm"

VP1: "yaaru thirumbi paakaradhukulla? P dhaaney"

R: "dei... yen da suthi suthi ava kittayey vareenga... give me a break guys"

VP2: "ok R... indha vayasu prachanaya .. i mean vayasu aagara prachanaya tackle panna edhavadhu vazhi irukka da"

R: "kai neraya arrears vechirundhaa oru vela second year la yey irundhirukalaam... but enna pandradhu...namelaam adhi medhavinga vera.. gethaa pass aayittom"

VP2: "dei... exam la bit adichi pass pannittu ..."

VP3:" dei..R pathi thappa pesaadha ... avan exam la adikaradhum 'bit'tu ... dialogue adikaraladhum 'bit'tu... yen.. daily paakaradhum 'bit'tu ...
he ambit is nothing but bit da"

R : "ivan oruthan...GRE kku padikara vaarthaya epdiyaavadhu sentence la use pannradhukkaaga nammala saavadikiraan"

VP3: "nee mattum yenna... nethu P ey vandhu caramel(food court) variyaannu ketta... ozhungaa poi irukka vendiyadhu dhaaney... mundhaanaal barrons 'A' list padicha orey kaaranathukaaga 'i am ambivalent about it' nnu sonna... ava kevalamaa oru look vittuttu hostel kku poitta"

R: "seri seri...vidungada"

Gin jumps into the conversation
Gin: "adhu mattumaa...night message vera pannaaaley... 'ambi vaal ..sowkiyamaa' nnu"

The gang bursts into laughter.

VP3: " ambi vaal...super name da"

Gin: "R... ponnunga nammala paathu 'thambi maadhiri' nnu sonna dhaan problem... 'ambi maadhiri' nnu sonna thappey illa"

R: "dei..dei... please niruthungadaa"

VP4: "seri..back to topic"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

R: "appa..nee dhaan da nanban... ok...so namma prachana namakku vayasu aagaradhu dhaan... 10 years from now where do we see ourselves da"

VP5: "in our marriages da.."

R: "ayyo...mokka podadheenga da...this is a serious question... indha life oda purpose enna? yaaravadhu yosichi paathirukeengalaa ?"

Gin:"nethu night adhukapparam periya kevalamaa da? philosophy pesa aarambichitta"

R: "no da ...serious a dhaan kekkaren... is there a purpose to life at all?"

Gin: "adhelaam enakku theriyaadhu...aanaa naan oru book la padichen... most successful people have some catch phrase in their minds and life their lives according to it"

R: "super idea da... nammalum yen catch phrases yosikka koodadhu...yaarukaavadhu edhavadhu catch phrase thonradha?"

VP6: "catch phrase laam kashtam da.. namma tamizh padathula ethana songs irukku... adhayey namma yen life la use panni munnera koodadhu?"

R: "idhuvum super idea... two minutes kanna moodi yosippom... adhukapparam ellarum oru line sollanum...illa ..paadanum... ok va"

Group: "OK"

Two minutes pass by. R breaks the silence.

R:"Ok...VP1..shoot"

VP1: "ekka chekkam aagi pochu kanakku..."

R: "nee thirundhavey maatta...next"

VP2: "meen pidithu meendum...aatril vida aasai"

R: "arumayaana philosophy...urupattaa maadhiri dhaan ...next"

VP3: "R...nee unnodadha sollu da"

R: "ok... (starts singing) veedu varai atha ponnu... veedhi varai matha ponnu... kaadu varai enjoy pannu ...kadaisi varai ..."

The group shouts in chorus "vaila bunnnu ...kadaisi varai vaaila bun'nu"

R: "ok... idhu othu varaa maadhiri theriyala ... pesaama topic change panniduvom"

Gin: "Seri appo P pathi pesuvomaa"

R: "Enda Enda .... enda ipdi irukeenga... "

VP-3: " R... seriousaa kekkaren ... P a nee love pandriyaa?"

R: "seri da... naan kulikka poren.... romba sweating sweating aa irukku"

Immediately two VPs block the door.

VP-4: "Dei Dei... kuliyal naa ennannu theriyumaa unakku"

R: (sarcastic tone) "machi... ablutions u don't know....'A' list da..padichirupiyey "

VP-4: "dei...avana nadula thallunga daa"

R gets pushed into the middle of the group by the relatively powerful VPs (Gin excluded here). It looks like the last scene before the interval of a second (possibly third) rate tamizh movie where the vamp (to-be) gets harassed by wierd looking villains. (Un)fortunately as opposed to the case of tamizh movies, we don't have the hero jumping down from a hundred storey building (graphics kalakkal mind you) to save the heroine.

R: "seri seri... enna venum ungalukku ippo"

Gin: "unmai"

R: "Dei Gin neeyumaa"

Gin: (sivaji tone) "enakku vera vazhi theriyalayeyyyyyyyyyyy"

VP1: "R .. seri idha mattum sollu... Yes/No"

R: "ennada kelvi ... summa Yes/No naa enna solradhu"

VP2: "dei..adingadaa avana"

R gets beaten up (mildly)

R: "dei...dei...vidungadaaa"

VP3: "Seri... marubadiyum kekkarom.... P un 'aal'aa illayaa?"

R: "modhalla love pandriyaannu keteenga ... ippo "aal"aa nnu kekkareenga... ambiguity da"

VP4: "ambi kutty...idhula enna ambiguity?"

R:"naan love pandra ponney ennayum love panninaa dhaan ava en aal da... love is just necessary but not sufficient for 'aal' da"

VP3: "ivana adikaradhulaa thappey illa"

R gets one more round of applause.

Gin: " dei dei...niruthunga da.... naan oru simple litmus test solren... ava ivan aalaa illayaannu kandupidikaradhukku"

VP-4: "idhukku dhaan oorukku oru Gin venumgaradhu"

VP-i : "machi...enakku oru doubt....litmus na enna da?"

Gin: "12th std chemistry practicals la pass panniyaa?"

VP-i: (thinks for a second) :" oh yes... external examiner kku biriyani vaangi koduthu ellarayum pass panna vechitaanga da"

Gin: "ada thu...seri unakku puriyara maadhiri solren... nee fail a pass a nnu mudivu pannadhu edhu?"

VP-i: "andha vegetable biriyani dhaan da"

Gin: "aah...seri...appo adhu dhaan litmus.... purinjudhaa?"

VP-i: "edho sumaaraa"

GIn: "naalaikku famous-cafe (hotel nearby) kku poi rendu plate litmus nnu kettudaadha ... ok va"

VP-x: "Machi...topic change aagudhu... andha pathumaasa mattera sollu..."

GIn: (shouts) "litmus daa.. litmus"

Vp-x: "edho ezhavu...solli thola da seekiram"

Gin: "ok..gavanamaa kettukonga... oru payyan oru ponnoda evlo close aa irukaannu kandupikka nammaku thevai avanoda mobile phone! adhu dhaan namma "aal" test oda litmus"

Vp-1: "puriyalayey"

GIn: "ippo R cellphone a vaangi..illa pudungi paarunga ... adhula P kiita irundhu ethana message, ethana call vandhirukku nnu note pannunga ... aprom P oda pera eppadi store pannirukaannu paarunga ... aprom indha formula va use pannunga .....

aal_co-efficient = number_of_outgoing_calls*(5) + number_of_incoming_calls * (-5) + number_of_sent_messages_that_include_the_word_"hi" * (-10) + number_of_sent_messages_that_include_"chellam/cutie_pie"*(10) + hamming_distance(original_name,stored_name) * 15

indha value jaasthi aaga aaga ava "aal"ish aa aaayittu varaannu artham..... "

VP-ALL (chorus) : "Swami gilmananda vukku oru 'O' podu ....OOOOOO O OOOOO O OOOOO O!!!"

At this moment all the vetti payaans are so excited that they start running in circles around Gin. Some shout, some scream, some dance, some jump. As the commotion builds more and more , a lot more VPs from other rooms who were so far probably chatting in mobile also join the party for no particular reason and start shouting... The screams become more and more and people from other floors of the hostel put their necks out to see whats happening... The original reason for the excitement is almost forgotten by now and suddenly one brainy VP brings a bucket full of water from the bathroom and splashes it on the group that was making the noise... This adds to the confusion as more people are seen running around. People from other departments come running in with screams that resemble remote tribes in south africa with the predominant sound of "ooooooooooooooo" .... some guys run around with hockey sticks...some with cricket bats...some with tennis racquets.....and some fellows who don't involve in sports with the chairs in their rooms. The whole place now looks chaotic and unstable with the noise level blowing off the eardrum ... in short the place resembled what ancient scriptures describe as "mix of hell and heaven" and some modern ones as "engineering boys hostel" !

and amidst all these commotion and chaos, a quick but steady movement of two well known figures ( male ones btw) is seen. These two figures quietly move out of the hostel and reach the snack bar.
one figure tells the other: "machi...just miss...illanaa raavirupaanunga"
the second figure: "aamaan da... ivanunga weak point therunji dhaan sonnen... illanaa nee theva illama maatirupiyey"
"thanks da.. unna vaazhnaal poora marakka maattten"
"adhelaam ok da... enakku orey oru doubt"
"enna?"
"ivlo hype create aayiduchu....oru vela nee nejamaavey P a..... "
"podaaaanggggggggggggggggggggggggg"

[the chase begins]

TOP 10 Reasons why you MUST be a Gilma and feel PROUD about it.

2010-02-12T01:09:00.000-08:00

As the V Day nears, its important not to lose heart. Lets take a look back and remember why its great for you to be a Gilma.

10) In the world of gilma, anything that is serious in nature will never be big , including this post.

9) Where there is a gilma, there will be lot of humour and laughter.

8) Gilmas save a lot of money on gifts which they dont have to buy and phone calls they dont have to make.

7) Gilmas save a lot of money on treats which they never have to give. Even when they do give it to other gilmas, its enough to give it in bakeries,vada kadai,shanti sagar..etc as opposed to mainland china and little Italy.

6) On valentine's day and other such days, gilmas need not fear sriram sena,shiv sena and other such senas. Allegations that some gilmas donate secret funds to these senas is false.

5) Gilmas dont have to waste their time and effort accompanying the "other" for shopping and to pretend to be interested in things they least care about. They do what pleases their heart and eat what pleases their tongue.

4) Gilma being an infinitely large group, a gilma is never lonely. Also he is never low on morale since for any kevalam that a gilma receives, there is atleast one other gilma who has received a much bigger kevalam.

3) As opposed to popular misconception, Marriage is not the end of Gilmaism. For some, it is just the beginning. So fear not , if you are married already. You can still do something stupid this V-day and feel proud about it.

2) The very fact that god has given eyes that can look easily at someone opposite you than the "one" walking next to you is another philosophical reason why you can chose be a Gilma.

1) If you are still not sure and need expert assistance, please contact our help centre. One of our representatives will convince you that the following two strong phrases being anagrams of each other is not merely a coincidence afterall.

"Valentine Camper - Grim Soul !"
" True gilmas - never complain !"

THE SECRET BEHIND YOGA

2010-01-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

THE SECRET BEHIND YOGA
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NO! This is NOT the wrong blog.. don't start navigating away to Facebook already. This post is certainly about Gilmaism. Although we don't have Gin, R featuring this time, we will certainly try and answer some deep questions that fellow gilmas might have. This is a humble attempt at capturing a towering philosophy called Gilmaism. Readers are kindly requested to read(view) this post as silently as possible as there will surely be Non-Gilmas around you who will try and distract your attention.

Now to the post ->

YOGA
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For people who are still wondering what YOGA has got to do with the Gilma theory, here is a contrived explanation...

YOGA - Yen Oruvan Gilma Aagiran?

This the question we asked ourselves this time and to our surprise it turned out that the answers could be explained through some simple "yoga" pictures ! We have attempted to explain only through pictures and without any explanations this time because they say in english that 'a picture speaks a thousand words' or equivalently in tamizh - 'avamaanathin azhagu mugathil theriyum' (or whatever) . In case any picture is not comprehendible , do leave a comment.

Here we go.

Lets ask ourselves the question again ---- 'YOGA? Yen oruvan Gilma aagiraan?' . We give below what the expert crew picked as the top 5 answers to this fundamental question in Gilmaism. There might be other answers but we feel a careful choice has been made after long discussions and considerations of alternatives . In case after reading,you still feel something is left out which MUST have been mentioned, do leave a comment.

REASON NUMBER 1:
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WRONG CHILDHOOD INCLINATIONS:

REASON NUMBER 2
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IMPROPER ADOLESCENT DREAMS

REASON NUMBER 3:
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TWISTED FRIENDS GANG

REASON NUMBER 4:
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HOPELESS WOOING

(i)

(ii)

REASON NUMBER 5:
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TOO MUCH "I-THINK"ing

Hope we hit the nail on the head. See you soon around. Bye for now.

Senorita Senorita - Part 2 !

2010-01-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

Author's note:
Ok Folks. I know 9 months is worth a wait for a rajinikanth movie but not for a gilma blog post. In this small interval of 270 odd days, a lots of people starved straight for weeks, a lot more got beaten up , a few terrorist leaders were killed and the world political climate has changed considerably... but fortunately none of these relate to gilmananda or gilmaisam and so i assume all followers of this blog are still the same old either SEBI community(Software Engineers who Browse Infinitely) or college students who have no other places (or partners) to hangout with. Given this fact, i am going to proudly continue the second part without even apologizing for the delay!
**********************************************************************

The story so far:
This is a tricky part. When did gilma blog posts have a story? anyway, here is the author's summary of part 1

Gin and R start discussing a strange incident where Gin sits next to a beautiful girl in a night bus and starts "talking".

***********************************************************************

Part-2

Gin: "Then the bus started to move. I knew it would take 8 hours to reach my place. 8 full hours da"

R: "Machi... ippo time 4'o clock. Enakku 12'o clock varaikkum oru velayum illa... adhukapparamum illa... so 8 hours nadandha hour by hour aa enakku nee ippo solra"

Gin: "solren da... solren.."

R: "start music"

Gin: "first hour was full tension da .... naan ava kitta ..."

R: "un love a sollitiyaa??"

GIn: "thoo.... naan ava kitta pesavey illa.... avalum en kitta pesavey illa"

R: "unga kadhaya cinema va mattum eduthudadha da... audience asinga paduthiduvaanga"

Gin: "adhukkapram second hour start aachu.."

R: "machan...enakku oru sandhegam"

Gin: "innum kadhayey aarambikkala...adhukulla ennada sandhegam"

R: "illa da... idhu romba mukkiyamaana question"

Gin: "kettu thola"

R: "jannal seatla yaaru okkarndhirundha.... neeyaa avalaa?"

Gin: "therinjuttu enna panna pora?"

R: "anga dhaan nee R oda brain a uthu paakanum ... jannal seat la ava okkarndhu nee pakkathula seat la okkarndhirundhaa ava unna adhigamaa madhikaraannu artham.... aisle la ava okkarndhu jannal la nee okaarndhirundhaa 'indha payyan paaka rowdy maadhiri irukaan... edhavadhu prachana panna conductor kitta pottu koduthiduvom' nnu nenairaannu artham... "

Gin: "R...nee engayo poitta da"

R: "Nee enga pona...adha sollu..jannalaa ... side a?"

Gin: "Side dhaan machan"

R: "appo idhu adhuvey dhaan"

Gin: "aana pona vaati oru vayasaana paati kooda ponen da...avanga paadhila side la irundhu jannalukku maarinaangaley ..."

R: "aiyoo....beauty pathi kadha soldaanaa paati pathi kadha sollittu irukaan.... andha amma edhavadhu vethala pottu thupparadhukaaga seat maarikkum... idhelaam oru doubtaa.... ozhunga adhuthu enna nadandhadhunnu sollu"

Gin: "aprom medhuvaa ava en kitta pechu kodukka aarambicha da"

R: "wow"

Gin: "naan romba bayandhutten da... oru maaridhi inam theriyaadha oru feeling enakkulla vandhuchu da"

R: "summa vaa sonnanga periyavanga... figure kandal padayum nadungumnu"

Gin:"cha cha...aprom dhaan realise pannen.... night saapidaama kelambitennu....i was damn hungry da"

R: "nee andha paati koodavey travel pannirukalaam.... latchumi bakary la mitchar vaangi oru surukku paila pottu vechirndhukkum....adha thinnukittey poirukalaam"

Gin: "illa da...anga dhaan oru twist"

R: "naan namabradha illa"

Gin: "vandiya saapaatukku niruthinaanga.... i asked her if she wanted anything to eat"

R: "onnum venaamnu sollirupaaley"

Gin: "yes"

R: "aprom nee poi saaptu vandhu paduthu thoongitta...idhaaney?"

Gin: "no da... naan poi saaptu vandhu avalukku oru chocolate vaangittu vandhen"

R: "super da... five star a dairy milk a?"

Gin: "aasai chocolate da...silra illannu kadaikaan kuduthaan"

R: "chinna vayasula indha covera 1 km ezhuthaa parisu tharuvaangannu solluvaangaey...andha chocolate aa"

Gin: "exactly"

R: "machi... sillunu oru kaadhal kelvi pattirukken....silarainnu oru kaadhal ippo dhaan da paakaren.... "

Gin: "ava adha edhuthu saaptaa da"

R: "ava unna vida mosam pola irukku...adha vidu...ava peraavadu ennannu kettiyaa illaya?"

Gin: "yes...ketten... ava peru S"

R: " nice name...vera enna ketta"

Gin: "avanga appa peru ennanu ketten"

R: "aduthu paati peru kettiyaa??? "

Gin: "nee romba overaa kindal pandra da"

R: "seri solli thola... aprom"

Gin: "in fact konja neram ipdiyey conversation pochu da.... she suddenly asked me one question...i was shocked"

R: "enna??? ava un paati pera kettutaala?? ha ha...arumayaanaa jodi pa.... nineteen-paati-two -- a love story nnu padamey eduthudalaam pola irukku"

Gin: "kalyanam pannika pora ponnu kitta nee enna edhirpaarkarannu ketta da"

R: "what a twist"

Gin: "sathiyama solren.... andha kelvi ya naan edhir paakavum illa...adhukku enakku badhilum theriyaadhu"

R: "enna da nee...nalla opportunity a miss pannitiyey da... oru naalu dialogue kuthu mathipaa sollittu kadaisiyaa avala nerkku ner paathu - 'kiita thatta unna maadhiri irundhaa podhum' nnu solliruka vendhiyadhu dhaaney"

Gin: " adhu epdi da solla mudiyum.... enakku bayangara bayam"

R: "enna dhaan sonna"

Gin: "questiona ava kitta thirumba ketten ... nee enna edhir paarkarannu"

R: "ava oru periya list ey pottu sollirupaaley"

Gin: "sonna da... and u know what...most of them matched me"

R: "ulaga makkaley.... ippo solren nalla note pannikonga.... ponnunga podara list a mattum paathu emaadhudaadhenga.... adha evan padichaalum avanukku exactaa match aagaraa maadhiri dhaan irukku.... aanaa ella point kku side la kuttiyaa oru (*) symbol irukkum...adhodha footnotes padikaama vittutu aprom kashtapadaadheenga ..."

Gin: "dei...ennada sevura paathu pesittu irukka..."

R: "seri unna paathu pesaren...enakku perusaa vithiyaasam onnum theriyala"

Gin: "aprom ava college, hostel idha pathilaam pesinaa... infact adhukapparam...naan pesinadhu romba konja dhaan... avaley dhaan pesittu irundhaa"

R: "nalla vela sandhosha padu... india la bus kulla mattum innum coffee day open pannala...illanaa un purse on the spot gaali aayirukkum"

Gin: "illa da... ava apdi patta ponnu illa"

R: "aarambichitaanungada ointment poosaradha"

Gin: "no da... you are totally mistaken... you should meet her sometime ...she seemed to be a very nice type"

R: "enna??? oru type aana ponnu nnu olriyaa....dei dei...tamizhla pesunga da ...figure a pathi pesaa aarambichaa odaney english kku enda thaavareenga?"

Gin: "useless fellow... how can you bring yourself to talk like this"

R: "ok ok... i am the wrong.. you are the right...mela sollu"

Gin: "No more story for you...thats it...and that will be all"

R: "seri machan.... idha mattum sollu...atleast ava phone number aavadhu vaanginiya... "

GIn: "no dude... i just got her email id...and gave her mine"

R: "super da...appo odaney avalukku mail anuppuvom...i mean...anuppu"

Gin: "dei.. what can i send her so soon"

R: "my dear diana.... neraya ezhudhalaam.... first K room kku povom...avan laptop free a dhaan irukku"

Gin:"dude...i don't know if it is a really good idea given the circumstances and the situation...."

R: "podhum da news vaasichadhu .... vaa en kooda"

Gin and R enter K's room . It is empty. R opens K's laptop and types his "aal"'s name as password. It opens!
www.mail.yahoo.com ...
R enters Gin's user id: Gin@yahoo.com
R enters Gin's password: maambazham
Loading...

You have 1 unread message
Sender:S

Both R's and Gin's mouth widen out...
Gin pushes R down and jumps into the seat.
Opens email
R watches from the ground.... the screen is faintly visible... but the necessary and sufficient first line of the mail spashes right on his face
"Hi Gin Anna, It was great meeting you"

Bomb blasts everywhere !!!!!!
smoke, explosion, sound, noise, cacophony, chaos !!!

Gin logs out and goes out of the room silently
*******************

That evening at snack bar:
Gin and R are seen standing in slanted positions staring at the ladies hostel fifth floor.

R : "machi oru karuthu sollatumaa"

Gin: "idhodha saapidaradhu niruthikuvanaa sollu.... bill naan dhaan pay pannanum eppadiyum"

R: " paarthavudan kaadhal...unakku sila samayam workout aagum... paakamaley kaadhal....adhu kooda unakku eppavaavadhu workout aagum..... sollamaley kadhal... noorula oru murai unakku work out aagum..... aana ... olaraamaley kaadhal....machan....adhu mattum unakku chancey illa da !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

R falls down on the floor laughing...
Gin kicks him hard with a huge laugh !

************************************************************

Senorita Senorita!

2009-04-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

These days,Gin is seen with more of beard around the mouth and less of voice from inside the mouth. Let us assume that it is his humble attempt at looking like a philosopher. After a few years, it will turn out that he would start sporting similar looks to convince people that he is a scientist! Well, if looked closely, there is not much of a difference between a scientist and a philosopher. One is a "searcher". The other is a "researcher". No No folks! hang on! This post is not about philosophy. This post is not in 2009 when Gin would think most philosophy is actually 'peela'sophy. This is 2003 ! This post is pre-philosophic time of Gin. This was before the 'awakening'. This post has the 'girl' thing in it. And of course the 'Gilma' thing too (read as 'avamanam').

Here we go!

R sings loud and enters Gin's room

R: "En kaalam varum,en kadamai varum, indha kootathin aatathai ozhippen. Podhu needhiyiley, pudhu paadhayiley , Gin solpadi nadappen"

Gin: "Enna da bit ottara... endha kootathin aatathai ozhikanum nee?"

R: "theriyadha maadhiri kekaadha machan"

Gin: "unakku dhaan oru aatamum aada varaadhey da? aprom enna kootam aatam nnu olarara?"

R: "Dei Gin... yaara paathu enna vaartha sonna... do you know super mario aatam? Adhula ethana level irunkunaavadhu unakku theriyumaa? Adhula kadaisi level complete panna evlo azhaga oru figure screen la varumnu unakku theriyumaa?"

Gin: "Andha ponnu peru theriyumaa unakku?"

R: "princess peach"

Gin : "naasamaa poch"

R: "Tholviyai otthukkol maganey"

Gin: "sambandhaa sambandham illama epdi da pesikittey irukka"

R: "adhukku oru technique irukku da"

Gin : "thevayey illa.... aala vidu"

R: "dei.... onnu solren kettukko.... kaadhalayum garbathayum yaaraalayum maraikka mudiyaadhu"

Gin: "ippo yen da indha dialogue a sonna?"

R: "adhadhukku neram vandhaa nadandhu dhaaney aaganum"

Gin: "Deiiii..."

R: "vaazhkaindra kappal la..."

Gin shouts at the peak of his voice

Gin : "VELIYAAAA PODAAAAAAA"

Silence.

Two minutes pass.

R : "un mudivu idhudhaana? "

Gin: "dei please da.... naaney romba confusion la irukken... nee vera pazhaya tamizh pada hero maadhiriyey pesittu irukka"

R : "aah... idhu matter... "

Gin: "edhu?"

R: "adhaan.... oru ponna nenachi confusion la irukken nnu sonniyey"

Gin: "dei... naan eppo da ponna nenachadha sonnen"

R: "machan... oru thathuvam solren kettukko.... college pasangalukku confusion varudhunna kannula edho oru fusion nadandhirukunnu artham da.... un kannu yaaru kannoda fusion aachunnu sollu paapom"

Gin: "dei...epdi da?"

R: "machi....vaanathula parakkum kite. ponnungalum adikkum site. idha purinji kitta nee weight. illanaa quarter pottu kavundhudu innaikku night."

Gin: "excellent da... indha pazhamozhiya engirundhu da sutta?"

R: "adhu unakku 'not necessary' vishayam. matter ennannu mattum sollu"

Gin: "ava peru S da"

R: "namma dept aa?"

Gin: "dei...namma dept pengal ellam namakku thangaigal maadhiri da... "

R: "dei...gunda thooki podaadha daa"

Gin: "seri ok...namma dept pengal ellam ENAKKU thangaigal maadhiri da"

R: "machan...nee dhaanda machan"

Gin: ""

R: "ok.continue"

Gin: "idhu oru vishitira sandhippu da"

R: "vichitra va? matter matter a pogudhu.... mela sollu"

Gin: "nethu naan oor la irundhu thirumbi varum podhu unakku sweets kondu vandhaney...adhu edhukunnu nenaikara"

R thinks for a second.

R: "vera edhukku da.. en mela unakku alavukadandha paasathala dhaaney"

Gin: "maasam naan rendu vaati oorukku poren...rendu vaati oorla irundhu varen... aana idhaan unakku first time sweet kondu vandhu kuduthirukken... idhula irundhu unakku enna theriyudhu"

R: "nee oru kanja paradesi nnu theriyudhu"

Gin: ""

R: "sorry da... unmaya olaritten..please continue"

Gin: " "

R: "ayyo...really sorry da... please da...mela solda... andha sweet kum indha kaadhal kadaikkum enna sambandham"

Gin: "naan kuduthadhu enna sweet?"

R : "evanukku theriyum.... vellaya irundhahu... osi sweet kku history, civics laamaa kettuttu irupaanga"

Gin: "adhu basundhi da"

R: "seri basundhi... adhanaala ?"

Gin: "adhu unakku dhaanda basundhi... enakku adhu "bus"undhi."

R: "sathiyama puriyala... nalla velai...nethu nee sweet a tharaadhukku munnadi indha explanation a koduthu ennannu kandupudikka sollala.... kadi aayiruppen"

Gin looks at the ceiling. Seems he is totally lost. After a few seconds, he turns towards R in a flash and speaks in quick pace.

Gin: "avala naan moonu naal munnadi enga oorukku pora night bus la meet pannen"

R: "what a romantic opening. Anni Lady conductor a?"

Gin: "stupid"

R: "Aaah... stupid aa.. dei..idhu ladies vaarthai da.... unakkum thothikichaa... seri seri...mela po"

Gin: "ava en pakathu seat. naan ava pakathu seat"

R: "wow"

Gin: "enakku enna pandradhuney theriyala.... ezhundhu vera seat kku shift aaga ponen"

R: "podhu janangaley... ivarukku yen nadakka vendiyadhu nadakka maatengadhunnu ippo puriyudhaa? shift aanaanraam shift"

Gin: "but"

R: "aana??"

Gin: "fate had a different answer to me that night"

R: "pls da..transalate pannuda"

Gin: "naan shift aaga pona edathula oru lady and oru aal okkarndhirundhaanga. Naan andha aal kitta request panninen. Avan pakkathula irundha lady a en pakkathula irundha ponnu kitta okkara sollittu naan avan pakkathula okkarndhukkarennnu sonnen"

R: "paatha avanum oru ponnu...adhaaney twist?"

Gin: "thoo..."

R: "appo neeyey sollu da...nadula nadula yenda stop pandra?"

Gin: "paatha avan thanni adichirundhaan... pakkathula irundhadhu avan wife. Naan avana ezhundhirukka sollittu avan wife kitta okkara kekkarennu nenachikittaan ! Ezhundhu katha aarambichitaan.... enakku enna pandradhuney theriyala da... oru loosu muzhi muzhichittu irundhen..."

R: "btw, avan wife epdi?"

Gin: "seruppu"

R: "oh..ok.."

Gin: "dei.."

R: "seri seri... matter a sollu... vandila prachana panradhukuney thanni pottutu oru kootam varum...avan kitta poi kettiyey... un budhiya serupala dhaan adikanum"

Gin: "dei... that was a boon in disguise da"

R: "???"

Gin: "avan peak of his voice la kathittu irundha podhu oru inimayaana kural kettudhu da"

R: "idhu conductor akka vey dhaan... am i right"

Gin: "yes... she waved her hands and asked me to come and sit beside her"

R: "amazing da... ava epdi da irundhaa????"

Gin: "S da... S for Senorita"

R: "sirpam kavidhai oviyam. moondru serum oridam....that one?"

Gin: "exactly da"

R: "wooowwwwwww"

Gin: "Then the bus started to move. I knew it would take 8 hours to reach my place. 8 full hours da"

R: "Machi... ippo time 4'o clock. Enakku 12'o clock varaikkum oru velayum illa... adhukapparamum illa... so 8 hours nadandha hour by hour aa enakku nee ippo solra"

Gin: "solren da... solren.."

-------------------------------------- PART-2 COMING SOON :) --------------------------------

The Philosophy

2008-11-25T02:02:00.000-08:00

Gin stands up with difficulty, takes a few steps with caution . He sees nothing but empty white space covered with smoke everywhere around ... he walks a few more steps before which he turns around and suddenly finds a red board that reads
"Welcome to Gilmabad... You have reached the spot of self realization" !

'Gilmabad - the name surely rings a bell' thought Gin as he walked towards the red board. He was totally awake now and the fear of a new place had faded off. He reached the board and examined it closely. It did not look any different from a normal board that showed directions. But the only difference was there was no direction in this board.

'Which way is gilmabad in'? Gin thought to himself.

'the right way' a voice he heard from a distance.

Gin was shocked for a second. How can he hear a voice that responded to what he was thinking?. He had just seen the mokka baba film the week before when it was released but he was sure all these himalaya effect that was shown in the movie was the biggest mokka he had ever seen (of cors not as big as 'reddu' starring USA).

He looked around to see where the voice was coming from. At a distance he could see a moving object. It was perfectly round and was red in colour. The red colour was in total contrast to the white snow that filled the surroundings. Moreover there was only empty white space as far as one could see and the ball was the only non-static object that he could sense. The red thing that resembled a ball was moving (rather rolling) towards gin. He anxiously waited till it came near him. The ball rolled very close to him and stopped. It was a huge ball as high as his neck. He did not know what to do now.
'should i say hello to a ball?' he thought to himself.It felt a bit wierd. He decided against it and thought he should wait for the ball to make the first move.

A few seconds passed by. A sound was heard now. It was like a motor bike getting started. At the end of the sound, a totally unexpected thing happened. A face popped out from inside onto the top of the ball.

A face!

The face was smiling at him.
Gin could not remain silent now
"You... You... i have seen you before"

The same voice that replied to this thoughts earlier replied now. But this time it was from the face on the top of the ball

"Sure you have"

"But where?"

"Well, in a mirror"

Gin was taken aback. Yes! It did resemble him!

"But only your face resembles me... your body looks like a ball"

The face smiled. It felt as if gin was looking into a mirror and frowning yet the mirror was laughing !

"When did you last see yourself in a full sized mirror?"

Gin fell silent.

'oh my god... do i look like a ball then?' he thought to himself.

"Not really Gin. I don't have a shape for myself. I take the shape and look of the latest human being who turned gilma right at the moment they become one.... Some s/w bug.. iam currently in transition phase...thats why the face-body mismatch"

"But... But... how do you guess what i speak in my mind?"

"Great Gilma's think alike ! Moreover this is my land.. my place.. i rule here .. i know everything that happens here.. this is not like the world you live in"

"are you .... are you..."

"Go ahead...ask what you are thinking"

"are you... GOD?"

"oh.. no..not completely .. iam just a Gilma"

"i don't understand... what is 'not completely'? can you please explain... and where am i now? who are you? why am i here?"

"Ok...lets take it slow... here we go ...God is too busy doing good things for the world .. for the people who are really in need of him ...really in search of him .. so he has outsourced certain responsibilities to me... if you want me to explain in the language that you understand, consider that i am a micro-kernel of god!"

"micro-what?"

"hmm ... better stop skipping OS classes dude"

" watever .. so what about my remaining questions? why am i here?"

"I answered that before .. you became a gilma just now ..just when you saw your friend R talking over the phone and so you are here"

"R... oh R" Things came to Gin's mind in a flash ... the aaryaas walk.. the chinna vaazha mokka joke .. then R...R talking on the cellphone while he thought he was sick and was in bed.

"Yes... your dear friend R"

"R.. yes.. he is my dear friend... what happened to him?"

"The 'happening' is not for him my boy...its for you"

"what do you mean?"

"Why did you faint when you saw R speaking with a girl on the cell?"

"I ... I ...i don't know .. i felt uncomfortable"

"because he was talking to a girl without your knowledge"

"no..not really.. but may be...yes...that could be it"

"Why should you feel uncomfortable when your friend talks with a girl whom you don't even know well"

"well ... i don't have an explanation .. but how do i get over this problem"

"FLOWER SHOWER"

"Flower -what?"

"Its a mystic technique that you must practise... not only you...every gilma practises this... it is like pranayama in yoga...it is like taking guard in cricket...it is the first step that a gilma must do ... it is the foremost beginning of the philospohy of gilma"

"What should one do?"

"If you are a gilma-girl and you see a handsome guy ... or if you are a gilma-guy and you see a attractive girl , lift your right hand .. make it into cone shape .. and just push it forward towards the girl/guy"

"what does that signify"

"it is as if you are showering flowers over the attractive girl or the handsome guy"

"what does flower shower exactly mean?"

"it is like showering flowers over a couple when they get married... we wish the girl/guy a happy life... and that will end all our and their troubles"

"wow... am falling for it already"

"try it out... it works"

"sure.. i will spread the word in my world... let the philosophy of flower showering take over !"

" welcome to the gang!"

"Thanks ... can i take leave now?"

"of course you can... all the best for your new journey ..and a new perspective ... i will come back to you whenever you are in trouble"

"oh.. thanks a lot... but..hey...wait a minute mr.reflection"

"yes sir"

"i don't know your name yet.... how do i call you when i need you"

"pray"

"but how"

There was only a smile from the other end as the face over the ball slowly pushed itself inside the ball and vanished.

The ball started to roll back to where it came from... after it went away from eyes sight, gin turned around in disappointment for not having got answer to his question.

The moment he turned, he heard a voice. This time it did not come from outside. It was from within.... it sounded strange .. yet it was soothing and comfortable ....
it had a unusual melody and ring to it.... there were not many words used... in fact the music was made of a single word...

gilmananda !

And Gin slowly fainted down to get back to the real world where he belonged to .... where he would spread the magical philosophy of gilmananda ...

The First Explosion

2008-10-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

Sunday Afternoon.
Gin and a few other friends (F1 , F2 up til Fn) are walking slowly towards Aaryaas. (Definition: The hotel that got crowded thanks to the wonderful cooks in the hostel mess). R is not to be found anywhere in the vicinity.

As these people aimlessly talk and walk towards Aaryaas, a not so unusual stupid conversation begins.

F1: " Gin Machan... indha ponnungala correct pandradhila nee periya aalu nnu solraanga... apdiya?"

Gin: "Dei .. evanda sonnan... konjamaavadhu yosinga da ... sunday madhiyanam .. sambandamey illama ungaloda suthikittu irukken ... idhukku appuramumaa enna paathu apdi kekka thonudhu"

F2: "Machan...unakku theriyaadhadhu illa..irundhaalum solren.... indha maari vishayathula rendu category la pasanga irupaanga da... oru category peru "chinna vaazha"... unnoru category peru "periya vaazha" "

Gin: "Dei.. yennada, technical terms laam pudusaa irukku.... adhu ennada adhu? chinna vaazha , periya vaazha"

F2: "Simple Machan... thanakku set aagaatiyum vidaapidiyaa mathavangalukku set panna idea tharaaney ...avan periya vaazha... adhaavadhu periya vaazha maram maadhiri.... vetti payalaa irundhaalum mathavan kodukara idea va apdiyey implement panni settle aaraan paaru...avan chinna vaazha...adhaavadhu chinna vaazhamaram maadhiri"

F1: "Machan... enakku oru doubt...Vaazha marathukkum figure set pandradhukkum ennada sambandham? kovilukku pora ponnugala vaazha pazham, poo, draatchai ...idhellam koduthaa correct aagumnu solla variya? Kaasu selavaagumey da"

F2: "Excellent da... unnoda inference skills peak la irukku... aaryaas poi full meals saapidaradhukku mattum unnoda moutha use pannu... theva illama rendu arivaalinga discuss pannum podhu naduvula mooka nozhaikaadha...purunjudhaa"

F1: "Dei...enakku oru mokka joke thonudhu... sollama irukka mudila...sollidavaa?"

F2: "Ayyo...ivan tholla thaanga mudilayey... solli thola"

F1: "Vaaya moodunnu sollittu Mooka nozhaikaadhannu solriyey da...ha ha ha ha"

Silence prevails for the next one minute. All people stand still wherever they are. Finally Gin speaks.

Gin: "F2 ... vittudu... unnoda nelamayila yaar irundhaalum ivana serupaala adikanumnu dhaan thonum... aanaa epdi paathaalum ivan namma settu...so ivana indha oru murai mannichi vittudu"

F2 (after a heavy sigh) : "seri vittu thola... vera edhaavadhu topic pathi pesuvom"

Gin: "Sollu...vera enna intersting matter?"

F2: " aah... un kitta kekkanum kekkanum nnu nenachikittey irundhen...marandhutten.... R enga Gin?" (sarcastically laughs after saying this)

Gin: "ennada sirippu... R kku odambu seri illa...hostel la paduthirukkaan"

F2: "Hostel la paduthirukaanaa.... namba mudilayey" (laughs again)

Gin: "Machan ... R ennoda uyir nanban da... ava eppo enga irupaannu enakku perfect aa theriyum ... aana paavam ippo avanukku odambu seri illa... adhaan paduthu thoongittu irukaan ... enna lunch parcel panni vaangittu vera vara sonnaan ...adukku dhan naan ippo mukkiyama aaryaas varen"

F2 :" Deeeei... anga paaru da" (points towards a direction)

Shock ! Shock ! Shock!

R is seen at the corner walking swiftly back and forth talking in a cellphone with a wide wide grin. (Of cors, it has to be a girl on the other end.... it has to be)

After a few seconds of grave like silence, F2 comments with a loud voice
F2: "Machi ... avan anga aircel service la sincere aa irukaan ... nee avanukku parcel service la sincere aa irukka... arumayaana nanban da nee"

Gins head rotates at tremendous speed !!!!
The world in front of Gin rotates at tremendous speed !!!
echo from north "arumayana nanban da nee nee nee"
echo from south "arunmayana nanban da nee nee nee"
echo from east "arumayana nanban da nee nee nee"
echo from all directions together "nee nee nee"

The trees in front blacken out !
R standing at the othercorner blackens out!
F1 to Fn - all blacken out!
The clouds above blacken out!
The atmosphere around thickens and blackens out !
Everything blackens out !
Everything!
GIn falls down with a thud.

When he wakes up after what it feels like millions and millions of years, he is totally surprised and in a way confused and afraid to find himself in a magic land covered with smoke everywhere around.

He stands up with difficulty, takes a few steps with caution . He sees nothing but empty white space covered with smoke everywhere around ... he walks a few more steps before which he turns around and suddenly finds a red board that reads
"Welcome to Gilmabad... You have reached the spot of self realization" !

(to be continued)

Tough Programming Problems in SHE (C)

2008-05-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

Evening time-Just after sunset while things are still visible without lights/bulbs. (oh reader..common... this is the original bulb) .

Gin and R are walking along the road to college from the hostel . As usual the conversation begins at a pointless point.

R : "Machan"

Gin : "Solda"

R: "Indha road kku yenda 'beach' road nnu peru"

Gin: " indha road kku 'beach' road nnu peru nnu unakku evan sonnan?"

R : "adhu namakku theva illa... indha road kku 'beach' road nnu peru nnu assume pannikittu sollu... indha road kku yen beach road nnu perunnu"

Gin: "dei... en moonjiya paathaa epdi irukku unakku"

R: " un moonjiya pathi ippo namakku theva illa... naan ketta kelvikku mattum badhil sollu"

Gin: "enna da aachu unakku?"

R: "enakku enna aachunnu ippo namakku..."

Gin: "niruthuda *** "

R: ""

Gin: ""

Silence prevails for two mins. They both reach the hostel gate without talking a word and come out of it.
They look at each other.

Gin: "machaan sorry da"

R: " free a vidu... thappu pannitta.... thirundhi mannippu kekkara...mannichi vittudaren"

Gin: "Dei... naan sorry adhukku sollala da"

R: "aprom?"

Gin: "kaasu kondu varadhukku badhilaa unnoda ID carda kondu vandutten da ... ippo NMB poga mudiyaadhu" [for people who don't know, NMB is the internationally acclaimed food court near the hostel where Gin and R stay. In simple tamil it is called as "pekary"]

R: "muttal... ippo ennada pandradhu"

Gin: "unnoda ID carda adagu vechaalum oru fruit cake kooda thara maataney da NMB la"

R: "dei.. comedy pannaama yosi da"

Gin: "machan.... ketta nerathulayum oru nalla neram da"

R: "enna da solra?"

Gin: "anga paaru da... yaarunnu"

R looks at the direction that Gin points towards.

R: "dei.. P da.... dei... unakkey kevalamaa illa... ava kitta poi pathu rooba kodunnu kekka solriyaa.... ennoda prestige enna aagaradhu"

Gin: "machan... pathu rooba nnu yen kekkara...ten bucks nnu kelu da... prestige maintain aayidum"

R: "nakkal pannaadha da"

Gin: " idhukku dhaan nee innum yennoda sishyanaavey irukka... opportunity knocks the door only once ... to open the door or not is totally under our control"

R:(hand over mouth) "ennada periya vaartha ellam pesara"

Gin: " dei.. ava kitta poi kaasu ketta unnoda prestige korayumnu enakku theriyaadhaa... naan unna apdi panna vittuduvenaa?"

R: "ennada romba nallavanaaitta"

Gin: "dei... mattera solren kelu... ippo NMB poi onnum panna poradhilla... P college kku poraa... ithana manikku mela kandippa lab kku C program poda dhaan povaa... neeyum lab kku po ... avalukku array la problem nnu kelvi patten... nee poi help pannu"

R: "avalukka array la problem... chancey illa... enakku therinjey ava pala pasangala kannathula palaaarnu 'array'njirukka da... "

Gin: "loosu maari pesaama po"

R: "ippo polaangariya"

Gin: "dei... seekiram poda... namma pasanga neraya perukku 'arrays' la strongu "

R: "aahaa... seri odaney poren... ID carda kodu"

R enters college while Gin walks casually towards NMB [reason left to the imagination of the reader].

P enters lift.
[two minutes later]
R takes the stairs.

P reaches 4th floor.
[two minutes later]
R reached 4th floor.

P opens glass door and enters lab.
[two minutes later]
R extends his hands to open the glass door. But then at the corner of his eyes, he sees someone outside far away messaging in a mobile. He suddenly realises that it is 'none but Gin' and is shocked to death. Gin messaging someone !! mysterious ! He now watches gin walking on the road more carefully and in the meantime opens the door and ......

PHHHAATTTT....
DDDAASSHHHHH....
DAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA....

A series of unworldly sounds that can come only from a girls hands when she slaps a guy on the face back and forth is heard. R realises in terror that his cheeks are paining and so the guy involved can be only him.... he turns towards the door in horror to see the state of things...

He sees the rowdy girl E - his classmate....

"Hi E ... how are you"

"Enna E... oru maadhiri irukka ... any problems??"

"Inga yaaro yaaraiyo adichaa maari..." . He realises that instead of holding the doors knob, he is holding E's hands.

"E ... E ... "

"kaiyya edukariyaa illa HOD kitta complaint pannava?"

"oh... appo kayya eduthaa HOD kitta complaint panna maatiyaa ...romba romba thanks... aala vidumaa saami"

R runs back to the stairs without a stop. As he reaches the ground floor in the 18th second from when he started, his cellphone beeps twice.

Message Number 1:

Sender - P
Message - "ha ha"

Message Number 2:

Sender - Gin
Message - "Enna machan... 'Hands on' Arrays training aa ...kalakku"

[subam]

" Ek duje kevalamey "

2008-04-07T03:39:00.000-07:00

[screen opens]

R comes running into Gin's room.
R: "Machan... kadhava saathu kadhava saathu"

Gin is lying on his bed reading a tamil novel.
Gin : "Nee dhaanda kadhava thorandhuttu ulla vandha...nee dhaan da kadhava saathanum"

R : "thathuvam ellam pozhiyara"
Gin: "kadhavu saatharadhula ennadaa thathuvam... "

R: "Dei vaazhkaindradhu kadalla"

Gin: "dhayavu senji veliya poriyaa.... naan book padikanum"

R: "seri da... pesala... adhukaaga eppo paaru book padichikittey irundhaa ennada artham"

Gin: "seri ok.. padikala... enna matter...edhukku kadhava saatha sonna?"

R: "innaikku oru chinna kevalam da"

Gin: "ipdi edhavadhu interestingaa sonna naan yen daa book padikka poren... matter a sollu"

R: "naanum avalum bike la poittu irundhomdaa"

Gin: "unakku dhaan licensey illayey... aprom epdi daa bike la pona?"

R: "oru kuruttu dhairiyathula bikela kootittu poitten da"

Gin: "police maamaa pudichirupaaney??"

R: "pudichaaney..."

Gin: "aprom?"

R: "licence kettaan"

Gin: "maatiniyaa.... "

R: "maatinadhu kooda prachana illa da... andha samayam paathu ennoda creativity konjam overaa work aaga aarambichiduchu....adhanaala avala oru dialogue solli impress pannalaamnu try panni police mama kitta thittu vaanginen"

Gin: "ha ha ... enna sonna police mama kitta"

R: " 'en kitta licence illa sir..aanaa voter's id irukku... vandiya naan dhaan votittu vandhen.. appo voter's id irundha podhumilla...edhukku theva illaama license' nnu ketten da"

Gin: "ada ada ada ada ... computer science mokka computer science mokka dhaan... idhukku ava sirichirupaaley?"

R: "aamaam da... sirichaa"

Gin: "computer science ponnunga computer science ponnunga dhaan"

R: "dei..aanaa 500 roobaa pudingitaan da mama"

Gin: "vidu vidu... ava sirichaa illa... namakku adhu dhaan mukkiyam"

R: "apdeengara.... aanaa 500 rooba koduthapparam ... hostel vandha odaney enna kevalamaa thittinaaley da"

Gin: "oho... appo oru vela ava andha police mamava paathu sirichirupaalo?"

R: "dei dei... verupethaadha daa"

Gin: "seri seri cool down..."

R: "ippo naan epdiyaavadhu ava kitta pesanum da... phone panninaa edukka maatengara... enna pandradhu?"

Gin thinks for a while.

Gin: "machan... namma indha semester pudhu hostel kku vandirukkomngaradha nee marandhitiyaa?"

R: "ippo adhukkum idhukkum enna daa sambandham?"

Gin: "anga dhaan Gin oda brain naa nee purinjikanum... software engg la nee padichadhilla? maximum utilization of resources nnu... indha hostel nammakku indirectaa kodukara resourcesaa namma use pannanum da"

R: "enna da solra.... indha hostelaa apdi enna special... mess dhaan konjam kitta irukku... poi saaptu vandhu kuppara paduthu thoongalaamnu solriyaa?"

Gin: "neeyelaam epdi da ennoda sishyanaa irukka?"

R: "evandaa unnoda sishyannu sonnadhu? "

Gin :"seri ok.. matterukku varuvom"

R: "ok"

Gin: "indha hostelukku namma collge ponnunga vechirukka peru enna theriyumaa?"

R: "enna?"

Gin: "zoo hostel"

R: "zoo hostelaa?? enda?"

Gin: "yenna indha hostel room jannala irundhu paathaa, ladies hostel la theriyum... moreover ladies hostella irundhu all girls this route only coming daily to college"

R: "adhukku 'zoo' kkum ennada sambandham"

Gin: "naakka thonga potukittu naai maadhiri jannal vazhiyaa etti paatha 'zoo' nnu sollaama enna solluvaanga"

R: "aanaa naan endha zoo layum 'naai' paathadhey illayey da"

Gin: "indha discussionukku indha kelvi romba thevannu nee feel pandriyaa"

R: "no da"

Gin: "ok da"

R: "continue da"

Gin: "ok da"

R: "please da"

Gin: "ok... gavanamaa ketukko... indha 'zoo' hostel la idhu varaikkum yaarumey try pannaadha oru technique kka innaikku night namma try pannuvom"

R: "enna techinique da"

Gin: "bulbobia therapy"

R: "apdeenaa?"

Gin: "night 9'o clock nee mattum en roomukku vaa... namma projecta start pannuvom... kandippa ava unakku message anuppuvaa... 'preeti'kku naan guarantee"

R: "ennada solra????"

Gin: "advertisement dialogue da... poittu 9 manikku vaa"

--------------------------------------------------------

Night 9'o clock.

R: "machan"

Gin: "vaadaa.. vaadaa..vaadaa.vaada."

R: "ennada ivlo paasamaa koopidara"

Gin: "okkarudaa... "

R:"ennada adhu bulbobia therapy...sollu daa seekaram"

Gin: "ella lightayum off pannu"

R: "dei"

Gin: "pannu da"

R: "seri ok... pannitten"

Gin: "andha window open pannu"

R: "pannitten"

Gin: "adho theriyidhey adhu dhaan ladies hostel"

R: "...."

Gin: "adhula forth floor la rightla irundhu fifth room dhaan nammaalu room"

R: " ..."

Gin: "ippo namma enna panna poromnaa... avalukku oru message anuppa porom"

R: "ennannu?"

Gin: "bulbobia therapy .. look out of ur window" nnu

R: " ok da.. interesting idea va irukku... iru anuparen..."

R sends message

R: "anupichitten da"

Gin: "ok... ippo namma enna pandrom... bulb a pottu pottu anaikarom... namma bulba pottu pottu anachapparam... wait pandrom... avalum bulb a pottu pottu anachaa... samaadhaanamaayidichinnu artham"

R: "excellent idea da.... epdi da ipdiyellaam yosikara"

Gin: "yen talent unakku puriyudu... indha oorukku puriyalayey"

R: "machi... naan mattum periya aal aanadhukaaparam unakaaga..."

Gin: "seri seri...modhalla sonnadha sei... "

R switches on the bulb. Switches off the bulb. Switches on the bulb. Switches off the bulb. on the bulb. off the bulb. on the bulb. off the bulb. on. off.on.off... this continues for around half an hour.

Gin: "machi... namma alavukku adhigamaavey techniqueaa use pannittom... ippo stop pannikuvom...bulbaa off pannidu.. let us wait for their response.. the ball is in their court"

R and Gin keep staring like dogs out of the window right on to the ladies hostel window... they trees are silent. The wind is silent. There is darkness everywhere. No sound. Absolutely. Not even the sound of breath. Perfect silence.

Suddenly the cellphone vibrates vigorously with a loud ringtone.

R:(talks such that air comes out as slowly and cautiously from his mouth) : machi

Gin: (talks in similar fashion) : enna?

R: "message"

Gin: "pirichi padi"

R reads the message . And after a second or two, hands over the cell to Gin.

Gin reads the message aloud.
"tube lights can afford to burn out bulbs. but we can't"

R: "edhukku ennada artham"

Gin: "machi"

R: "sollu machi"

Gin: (shouts at the peak of his voice) "Idhudhaandaa original bulbuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" !!!!!!!!!!

[screen closes]
[applause]

THE TUESDAY MONA LISA

2008-03-02T04:57:00.000-08:00

Gin, carrying his huge body ran as fast as he could into R’s room. R was lying on his bed comfortably with legs one over the other, hands tied behind his head and a ball pen cap in his mouth, and a romantic look towards the ceiling of the room. It seemed to the ordinary viewer that someone was discussing a love story with R through the creaks of the ceiling.

Gin rushed into the room shouting.
Gin: “Machaaan !!!!! “

R : “dei Gin …. Cha… nalla kanavu da… kalachitta…. Nee vaazhka pooraa saamiyaaraadhaan irukka pora… idhu ennoda saabam”

Gin : “ dei R… vishayam theriyaama pesaadha… evlo seriousaana matter solla odi vandirukken…. Edho pagal kanavu disturb aayidichennu feel pannikittu irukka”

R : “dei… pagal kanavu illada…. Oru romantic scene imagine pannikittu irundhen…. Enakkum aishwarya raikkum kanmoodithanamaa oru love scene…. Adha nee keduthutta”

Gin : “kanmoodithanamaa love scenaa?? Adhaan kanna moodikittey think pannikittu irundhiyaa…. Sorry machan…. Nee vaazhkayila ivlo nondhu poittangaradhu enakku theriyala”

R: “seri vidu… naan rai yoda aprom discuss pannikaren…. Unnoda problem ennangaradha takkunnu sollu”

Gin : “ marubadiyum mona lisa”

R : “Idhu T-Rajendar padamaachey…. Shanty la release aayirukka…. Innaikku night free night dhaan…. Naan ready…. Adhulla oru vishayam paaru…. Ellarum T-Rajendar padam paakaradhu panam waste nnu solraanga…. Aanaa enna porutha varaikkum avaru padam paakaradhunaala naan maasam 50 rooba save pandren…. Eppadinnu kekariya? Nee kekka maatta…. Naaney solren…. Oru T-R padam paathuttu theatre vittu veliya vandhaa adhutha one monthkku shaving pannanumnnu oru nenappey varaadhu… ha ha ha ha “

Gin : “ayyo…. Konja neram vaaya moodikittu irukkiyaa”

R : “ok.. done… mattera explain pannu….”

Gin : “adhaan sonnaney daa… marubadiyum mona lisa…”

R : “adhu yaaru da mona lisa? FT department edhavadhu ponnu management seatla serndhirukka??”

Gin : “dei….FT ellam illa da…. Namma dept dhaan…. Adhey ponnu… adhey attendance… adhey mandira sirippu…. Enakennamo time workout aagudhunnu nenaikaren”

R : “machan…. Nejamaavaa solraa???”

Gin :” seriousaa da…. Innaikkum naan attendance sollum podhu enna paaathu vekka pattukittey ava sirichaa daa….aprom thala kuninji marubadiyum sirikka aarambichitta “

R : “nethu nee attendance sollum podhu gavinichiyaa?”

Gin : “ nethu mattum illa da… kadandha rendu vaaramaa attendance sollum podhu gavanichi kittu dhaan irukken…. Tuesday Tuesday sirikaraa daa”

R : “ella hourlayum sirikaraalaa…. Illa oru particular period la mattum sirikaraalaa?”

Gin : “ella hourlayum sirikaraa daa… aanaa Tuesday mattum dhaan sirikaraa… “

R : “idhu yosikka vendiya vishayam…. Namma different angle la irundhu indha mattera attack pannuvom”

Gin : “idha idha idha thaan yedhirpaarthu naan inga vandhen da… indha mysterya unnala mattum dhaan solve panna mudiyum”

R : “seri modhalla kadhava saathu… theva illadha disturbance irundhaa ennala think panna mudiyaadhu”

Gin : “dei… idhellam konjam overaa illa”

R : “appanaa kelambikittey iru…. Enakku thousand eight work irukku”

Gin : “seri… kadhava moodi tholaikaren”

R :” ok… naan unna sila kelvigal keppen… adhukku taan taan nnu badhil sollu…”

Gin : “ready”

R : “ ava sirikkum podhu eeeee nnu sirikaraalaa uuuuu nnu sirikaraalaa?”

Gin : “dei … nakkala”

R : “kelvi kku mattum badhil solluda”

Gin :”thala ezhuthu…. Seri…. eeeee nnu dhaan sirikaraa”

R : “sirikkum podhu pallu theriyamaadhiri sirikaraala…illa…”

Gin : “naan kelambaren daa”

R : “seri seri… olungaa kekkaren…. Ava thaniyaa sirikaraalaa illa rendu moonu ponnunga serndhu sirikaraangalaa?”

Gin : “hmmm… ava mattum dhaan sirikara”

R : “hmmm…. Nee attendance sollum podhu ennannu solluva”

Gin : “yes ma’am … illa yes sir nnu solluven …. Aanaa daily apdi dhaan solluven…. Aanaa ava Tuesday mattum dhaan sirikara…. “

R : “enakku purinji pochu…. Idhu oru disease…. Idhukku peru selective lovevophobia …. Idhu marundhu maathirai koduthaa gunamaagaadhu… letter koduthaa venumnaa gunamaaga vaaipirukku”

Gin : “dei… appo idhu adhu dhaannu solriyaa”

R :”idhula unakku ennadaa sandhegam…. Idhu adhuveydhaan”

Gin : “aanaa…. Tuesday mattum yendaa adhu varudhu…. Micha naalelaam avalukku en mela adhu varaliyey”

R : “dei… idhu ladies sentiment da…. Tuesdayngaradhu oru mangalagaramaana naal…. Oru velai ava Tuesday Tuesday aanjaneyar kovillukku povaalo ennamo…. Unnayum kovilukku vara solli signal tharaalo ennamo…. “

Gin : “oho… apdi kooda irukumaa daa?”

R : “sandhegamey illa… appadi dhaan irundhaaganum…. Nee udaney aanjaneyar kovillukku kelambu…. Avala meet pannu…. Nalla pesi pazhagu…. Apdiyey thirumba hostel varum podhu vadai kadiyila enakku 10 roobaikku bajji vaangittu vaa”

Gin : “machaan…. Nee dhaanda frienddu”

R :”vidraa vidraa…. Enakku pugazhchi pudikaadhu”

Gin :” seri machan… naan kovilukku kelambaren”

R : “all the best da…. Bajji sooda irukkattum… bye bye”

At this moment , somebody knocks heavily on the door. Gin walks towards to door and opens it. A tall dark well built man of around 40 years of age is seen standing in front. He immediately starts shouting at R.
“ Dei R…. nee innum 50 rooba baaki vechirukka…. Ippo panatha edhuthu vekkalainna warden kiita complain panniduven… aprom innonnu kettukko… inimel kandippa unnoda thuniyellam naan thuvaikka maatten…. Seri seri…panatha edu”

Gin: “Dhobi sir… amaidhiyaa pesunga…. R ungalukku evlo tharanum… 50 rooba dhaaney…. Indhaanga … naan tharen… pudinga… avan thuniya thuvaikamaatenellaam solladheenga…. Kelambunga”

R : “nambaa …unna vaazhnaal poora marakka maaten da… neeyum andha bajji mattera marandudaadha”

Dhobi : “ Gin thambi… edho neenga solreengannu poren…. Ivana innoru naal gavanichikaren”

The Dhobi starts walking out. Suddenly he remembers something and turns to Gin’s side.

Dhobi: “Gin thambi…. Indha sattaya potukitta college poneenga..? indha sattayila akkulaa perusaa oru kizhisal irukkey…. Class la ipdi apdi kaiyya thookineenga, ellarum paathu siripaanga thambi…. Seri naan kelambaren”

Tortoise surul…..Flashback….

“Attendance please…. Gin”

“yes ma’am”

Stop.
Rewind.
Pause.
Play.

“Yes ma’am”

Stop.
Zoom.

The picture that u are imagining is simple enough.

Gin stands up in his desk, raises his hand above as much as possible and answers the attendance with a loud voice “yes ma’am”.
Of cors he was not looking at “ma’am” while saying that.
And of course “she” was not laughing on Tuesdays without a reason!

The NICK NAME !

2007-12-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

There are few 'words' in college life that have diametrically opposite meanings. Probably the one that sits somewhere at the top of the list is
'IV- Industrial Visit' .
Would you beleive if someone told you that this word has a musical coating to it? There is a subtle logical proof behind this.

I.V
|-> Industrial Visit
|->Industrial Tour.
|->Tour.
|->Fun Tour.
|->Fun.
|->Games.
|->Games - guys vs gurls.
|->Anthakshari.

===> IV <=> Anthakshari.

==================================================================

This is an important period in Gin's life. Gin is being respected by not one but two girls for the first time in life.
[Trivia: It is a universal fact that if one girl 'x' who talks well with a guy 'y' , there is always another girl 'x1' in the friend set of 'x' who will also talk well with the same guy 'y'. The proof of the theorem is left as an practical exercise to the interested reader]

Industrial visit to Pondichery!
Gin views it as an golden opportunity. [and so did every other guy in the class, everyone for his own reason. Not to forget to mention the male staff who went along with the students]

There are two girls whom Gin always hangs about with. For simplicity of the discussion, let us assume the two girls are named G1 and G2. There happens one very interesting conversation between Gin, G1 and G2 which probably served as the cementing base for the theory that the world would see and amaze in the later years. Here is the cut short version of the conversation.

G1: "Hey Gin "
Gin: "mmm"
G1 : "Pondicherry kku IV vandirukka.... thanni ellam adikalaya?"
Gin: "Comapany thariyaa? Adippom"
G1 : "Enakku Ok. Iam ready"
Gin: "Adi paavi"
G2 : "Adhaaney paathen... nee dhaan TB patient aachey.... nee epdi thanni adippa?"
Gin: "TB patientaa?? Naana.... enna solra?"
G2 : [smiles to herself]
G1 : Hey ... chumma irudi.... [and now she starts smiling]
Gin: [smiling too...for reasons that only god knew] ... Hey enna ya solreenga.... edho kalaikareengannu puriyudhu...aanaa ennannu dhaan theriyala"
G1: Adha vidu Gin... enakku idha sollu nee..
Gin: Edha vidanum? Edha sollanum?
G1: indha 'G3' romba overaa pandra.... enakku konjam kooda pidikkala... nee ennannu kekka maatiyaa?
Gin : 'G3' yaa?? romba nalla ponaachey ... enna panninaa?
G2 : adhaaney paathen... ayya adhukkulla G3 kku vakkalathu vaaga aarambichitaaru
Gin : chumma sonnen.... indha G3 romba mosamana ponnu... enna suthama madhikka maatengara.... avalukku naan edhukku vakkalathu vaanga poren
G1 : idha naan kandippa G3 kitta solren..
Gin : edhaavadhu plan panni irukeengalaa?? enna theva illama vambula maati vidaadheenga... naan romba nalla payyan...
G2 : aanaa paavam .... TB ....enna pandradhu
Gin : [in a loud voice] ayyo.... inga enna nadakudhu? edhavadhu puriyara maadhiri pesareengala
G1 : unakku ippo enna puriyala?
Gin : neraya puriyala... modhalla enakku TB , enakku TB nnu edhukku solreenga?
G2 : unakku TB nnu naanga sollavey illayey
Gin : aprom?
G2 : nee dhaan TB [laughs loudly]
Gin : naan TB yaa? apdeennaa??
G1 : hey Gin... TB n garadhu unakku naanga vechi irukara nick name !!!
Gin : oh ...apdeenaa enna?
G2 : aai.... adha epdi adhukulla solluvom? neeyey kandupudi paakalaam??
Gin : mmm.... TB??? [Thinks hard] .... Thiagaraja Bhagavadharaa??? naan paatu paaduvennu epdi neenga thappu kanakku poteenga?
G2 : yedhukku unna neeyey kevala paduthikara.... TB n garadhu oru sweet name ... for a sweet guy [smiles]
Gin : [smiles]
G1 : Hey Gin... seri naanga roomkku porom... yosichu vai... naalaikku kaalaila kulla TB naa ennannu kandupidi ..... bye bye... good night...
G2 : Good night Gin
Gin : Good night.... Good Night....

Night moves in snail pace.
The pattern of Gin's breathing that night was observed as below.

TB
TeeBEE
Tb
TBBB
TTTB
TBTBTBTBTBT
TTTTBBBBB

Next Morning.

G1 : Good Morning Gin.
Gin: Good Morning.
G1 : Enna kandu pudichiyaa? TB ?
Gin : mmm.... adha pathi naan yosikkavey illa.... edho sweet name nnu G2 sonna...adha naala nalladhaa dhaan edhavadhu irukummnu assume pannikaren... [laughs]
G1 : romba sweet name Gin.... romba Cute name too.... unakku perfectaa porundhum... G2 dhaan unakku andha peru vechaa....
Gin : Enga ava ? aalayey kaanom.
G1 : Theriyala.... inga dhaan engayaavadhu poiruppa...
Gin : Seri TB naa ennannu sollu pls....
G1 : Ok...sollidaren...aanaa naan sonnennu G2 kitta solladha... she did not want me to tell this to you... [smiles]
Gin : Kandippa solla maaten.... nee ennannu sollu...
G1 : [with a wide wide wide grin that showed almost all her tooth] TB naa Teddy Bear.... Teddy Bear naa Gin..... so cute no?????

Gin : [swallows saliva for a second] yeah.... toooo cute !!!!!

The First Impression - "R vs P"

2007-12-25T06:27:00.000-08:00

Gin and R are tired after playing basket ball. Of course Gin has no idea how to play it and so mostly watches R and others play by sitting in the gallery near the court. (But it must be mentioned to the reader that Gin is in perfect sports outfit though he dosen't even qualify as a refree of the game). Occasionally Gin enters the court silently and does some tricks with the ball by throwing it up and down, back and forth. When that happens, it should be easy to guess that some pretty girl is looking down from the window of the fourth floor of the ladies hostel that stands adjacent to the basket ball court.

The game for the day is over and Gin and R walk towards the thatha shop as usual.

Gin : Thatha, innaikku enna special

Thatha : ""

Gin : Paavam avarukku kaadhu kekkadhu... indha vayasaana kaalathula eppadi dhaan indha kadayila vela paakaraaro.

R : dei.. kekkara maari ketta figurey ok sollum... after all thatha badhil solla maataara... ippo naan kekkaren paaru... thathaa... innaikku enna special.

Thatha: modhalla 200 rooba baakiya koduthuttu pesuda ****

Gin : vidu machan... stack la indha avamanatha push pannikko.... ellathayum oru naal sethu vechu pop panniduvom

R : dei... namma thatha da .... ivaru kitta vaangaradhelaam oru avamaanamaa
Gin : adhu ennamo seri dhaan.... nee 'P' kitta vaangaradhayey avamaanamaa nenaikka maatengara... idhaya nenaikka pora
R : Dei... avala pathi pesaadhadaaa
Gin : Yen da... nethu night 1 mani varaikkum msg anupichikittu irundhiyey daa
R : avala pathi pesaadhannu solren illa
Gin : Seri ok...

They eat cream bun, drink fruit beer and start walking back to hostel.
A minute of silence prevails.

R : aanaalum avalukku romba dhaan idhu daa...
Gin : ""
R : edhu nnu kekka maatiyaa
Gin : kekkanumaa?
R : dei... seri vidu avala pathi pesa vendaamnu sollittu naaney pesaren.
Gin : naan dhaaney pesa koodadhu nnu sonna... nee pesu da
R : enna pesaradhu?
Gin : hmmm.... seri ava unna yen avamaana padutharaannu kandupikavaa?
R : ennatha nee kandupudichi...ennatha senji....
Gin : dei... naan ponnunga vishayathula killaadi da... adha nee purinjikka maatengara...
R : Seri da .... sollu paapom....yen ava enna adikadi avamaana padutharaa?
Gin : oru ponnukku oru payyana avamaana paduthanumnu thonudhunna adhukku orey oru kaaranam dhaan irukkum....
R : adhu ennavaam?
Gin : First meeting.... nee ava kitta mudhal murai pesum podhu enna nadandhadhunnu sollu... adhula irundhey easiya kandupudichidalaam....
R : Mudhal muraiyaaa..... (Thinks) ..... dei.... mudhal murai pesum podhu bayangara impression create panninen daa... appo onnum perusaa nadakkala...
Gin : Nee enna nadandhadhunnu sollu.... adhu perusaa illiyaannu naan solren....

tortoise surul....
six months rewind....
third day in college....
special class on ' basic C programming' especially for 12th std biology students....
R and P sitting on the same row...
A few minutes of break before class will commence...

R: "hi"
P: a quarter smile.
R: "my name is R"
P: a half smile [more to herself]
R: "u are tamil?"
P: "illa"
R: "iam tamil.... oh... hey.... nee tami dhaaney??"
P: another half smile [more to herself]
R: "12th biology aa"
P: "chemistry"
R:"naan biology"
P: a wierd smile [more to herself]
R:"but enakku C programming nalla theriyum"
P:"oh"
R:"unakku"
P:"enakku theriyaadhu"
R:"pointers theriyumaa?... yashwant kanithkar book onnu irukku...super book"
P:"ok"
R:"nee chennai yaa"
P:"illa"
R:"madurai dhaaney?"
P:"illa"
R:" thiruchiyaa??? REC kedaikaliyaa?"
P:"naan coimbatore"
R:"chidambaramaa"
P:"unakku ear problemaa"
R:"ha ha.... "
P:"yenna?"
R:" coimbatore naa nee day schi ... apdidhaaney?"
P: "epdi kandupudicha?"
R: [a triumphant smile] "ha ha"
P: ""
R:"ha ha"
P:" "
R: "Coimbatorela enga"
P:" Sonna unakku therinjidumaa? coimnbatore vandhu rendu naal kooda aagala... adhukulla ella areayaavum theriyumaa unakku? apdiyey ippo naan engannu sonna mattum enna pannuva?? unna 6 manikku mela hostel vittu veliya vida maataanga... sevuru eri kudichu veliya varuviyaa? chumma kekanumennu kekka koodaadhu.... purinjudhaa??? seri seri.... sir vandutaaru.... olungaa class gavanikara vazhiya paaru....."
R: "ha ha.... kandippa.... unakku edhavadhu doubt irundhaa...."
P: "sir a kettukaren"
R: "ha ha"

Gin : [Faints] [Dollar at hash percentage and exclamation at star percentage ]

The S-MesS - "R Vs P"

2007-12-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

It is a pitch dark room. Only two human figures are to be seen vaguely. One is Gin and the other is R. They is absolutely no light in the room except for a patch of bright green light that was highlighting the curious eyes of the guys in the room. The source of the green light as we understand is from the world's oldest cellphone model - Nokia - 1100 or watever. Yes. Gin and R are SMSing . Rather SMesSing.

They speak very less but whenever they do, their voice is hushed and almost similar to the 'verum kaathu dhaanga varudhu' type.

Gin: "ssh...Machan.... idha vitta vera chancey unakku kidaikaadhu.... pasanga ellarum saturday free night nnu veliya kelambitaanga....hostella namma department layey neeyum naanum mattum dhaan irukkom"
R : "Dei... enakku bayamaa irukku da"
Gin: "Dei...enna da bayam"
R : "nethu dhaan enna kevala paduthina... marubadiyum ippo naan sms panna enna thappa nenachikka maataalaa?"
Gin : "Dei... enna nambu... naan ponnunga vishyathula killaadi.... naan idea koduthu idhu varaikkum kuri thappinadhey illa"
R : "naan unna kuruvi sudavaa idea ketten... kuri kiri n gara"
Gin : "un comedykku alavey illama pochu da... ippo SMS nee anupariyaa...illa naan anuppava"
R : "Dei..dei..."
Gin : "appo olungaa anuppuda"
R : "Ava number eppadi kedachidhunnu ketta enna pandradhu?"
Gin :" chumma guess panninennu sollu"
R :"un kitta idea ketten paaru...naan kelambaren da..aala vudu"
Gin :"Dei... unakku innum vevaram pathala... edhulayumey oru humour irukanum da"
R : "ippo nee sonnadhu humour illa... mokkai"
Gin :"mokkaya irundha innum better..."
R :"enna periya prachanaila maatti vittuduva pola irukku nee"
Gin: "naan solradha apdiyey adi... ava reply pannalenna enna adi"
R : "Seri...solli thola"
Gin: "Hi P... epdi di irukka"
R :""
Gin : "enna da moraikara.... adichu anuppu daa"
R : "seri.. edho unakkaaga anupparen....."
Gin: "nee dhaanda nanban"

R sends SMS - "Hi P... epdi di irukka" to P.

Time ticks.

R: "enna da ... ava madhikara maadhiri theriyala"
Gin: "iru da... SMS anupichu 10 numisham kooda aagala... ethana pasangalukku ava message adikanum... nee avasara pattaa epdi"
R : "dei paradesi"
Gin :"ok ..ok ... porumai..."

Cell phone vibrates !

Gin: "epdi namma idea work out aayidichaa"
R : "Gin...thala da nee"
Gin: "modhalla enna anupchi irukaannu paaru.... apporam enna pugazhalaam"

R reads the message aloud
"dei potta dog ... konnuduven"

Shock!
Shock!
More Shock!

Gin and R stare at each other for two minutes.
Gin recovers first.
Gin: "Nanbaa.... idha naan edhir paarkala... ava ivvalavu localaa na partynnu"
R : ""
Gin: "Avala nee marandhududaa.... ava namakku seri pattu vara maatta..sorry unakku seri pattu vara maatta"
R : ""
Gin: "Enna dhaan ava periya gethaa irundhaalum , unna paathu epdi kevalamaa solli irukka koodaadhu daa..adhuvum unna paathu epdi daa ipdi"
R: ""
Gin: "Cha... ipdi patta ponnukku SMS pandradhukku nee tongue pluck pannittu saavalaam da"
R: ""
Gin: "Yen daa ipdi ponnunga pinaadi alayareenga.... adhuvum loosu maari message anupchi vazhiyaradhu"
R:""

Cell phone vibrates.

Message flashes on screen.
"Typo .... i meant 'di' pottu pesinaa konnuduven"

R & Gin: "Dollar at hash percentage and exclamation at star percentage"

THE BULL PUNCH - "R vs P"

2007-12-22T13:53:00.001-08:00

One fine evening, Gin was walking to taatha shop (snack bar) along with his friend 'R' who was almost as tall as Gin but somehow managed to look smarter than him. The conversation went like this.

Gin: "Dei R ... "
R : "Solda"
Gin : "Innaikku edhavadhu jolly pannuvom da"
R : "umm....Enna pandradhu?"
Gin :"Edhavadhu...aanaa Jolllyaaa"
R : "ada poda nee vera"
Gin: "Enna machan aachu? Yedhukku oru maadhiri irukka?"
R : "Perutha kevalam da"
Gin : "Wow! Endha Ponnu?"
R : "Adhu enna... kevalamnu sonna udaney endha ponnunnu kekkara?"
Gin : "Apparam nee internals la mark vaangaadhayaa kevalamaa nenaikka pora? Endha ponnunnu solda"
R : "Ava dhaan..."
Gin : "P ???"
R : "umm..."
Gin : "Gethu machan... enna matter ... adha modhalla sollu"
R : "Unakku naan kevalapatta siripaa pochu illa"
Gin : "Ippo azhudhu feeling vida solriyaa"
R : "Verupethaadha da"
Gin : "ava kitta pesinaa kevalam varummnu therinjey nee poi pesi iruppa... edhavadhu scene vida try panni iruppa.... aprom kevala paduthaama unna pugazhndhu paataa paaduvaa"
R : "Dei... "
Gin : "Machan... ponnunga kitta pesaradhungaradhu jallikattu maadhiri.... maatta adakka therinjavan mattum dhaan kalathula eranganum"
R : "Dei.... enna nakkal pandriyaa....unakku erkanavey matter theriyumaa?"
Gin : "Enna da matter"
R : "Maadu matter"
Gin : "Maadu matteraaa?? sathiyama theriyaadhu daa... naan oru flow la edho sonnen"
R : "Dei.... ava enna kevala paduthitaadaa"
Gin :" Thirumba thirumba polambaama mattera open pannu machi"

tortoise surul....
flash back.....
Chemistry lab....
burette..
pipette...
experiment...
lab notebook...

R: "Hey P... "
P : "Enna?"
R : "U know something"
P : ""
R : "Kekkaren illa... theriyumaa theriyaadhaa solla maatiyaa"
P : "ennannu sonna dhaaney theriyum"
R: "Ennannu sonna unakku ennannu therinjidumey... theriyaradhukku munnadiyey theriyumaannu solradhu dhaan budhisaalithanam"
P: ""
R : "ha ha"
P : ""
R : "seri naaney sollidaren....naalaikku college leave"
P : "idhukku dhaan indha effect koduthiyaa?"
R : "Aanaaa naalaikku yedhukku college leave nnu nenaikara?"
P : "Saturday - adhanaala leave"
R: "No No... adhu illa matter"
P: " "
R: "Naalaikku thalaivar birthday..."
P: "Yaaru thalaivar? Principalaa?"
R: "Hey P.... thalaivar.... naan dhaan "
P: "Oh"
R: "gandhi jayanthi kku college leave.... republic day kku college leave... adhu maari thalaivar birthdaykku college leave.... idhula irundhu unakku enna theriyudhu...."
P: "Enna theriyudhu?"
R :" enna maadhiri adhi medhaaveengala college gaurava padutha leave viduvaangannu theriyudhu"
P: "U know something"
R :"ha ha... yen routelayey variyaa.... va va... "
P :" Maatu pongalukkum college leave dhaan"
R : Dollar at hash percentage and exclamation at star percentage ($@#%&!@*%)

=============================================================

A FACE TO FACE WITH GILMANANDA

2007-12-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

==================================================================
I don't prefer writing in first person style. Especially because as a blogger, there must be an element of imagination added to reality though in a propotion which will give no clue of what is fiction and what is not. And writing in first person's style will just induce moral questions within myself about the autenticity of information that i provide.
So let us from now on think of Gilmananda as an unknown random figure (a male figure) about whom we know of nothing.
We need to go a few years back in time to actually start this enthralling story, the journey about the man who is reverred by millions today for the theory and concepts he has put forth for the betterment of mankind.

Hah... we speak about it we are there now!
The time when it all began. The time when the first traces of Gilmananda' knowledge shower was sprinkled on the rotating earth' sand covered body.
Tighten your seat belts.
You are just about to go on a shhhewwwwwwwwwwwsshhhhhhhhhhhhhh ride.
==================================================================

Here is an imaginary face to face interview with Gilmananda to make you understand him better.
Please do Remember that we are in the year 2002 A.D - 5 years back and the world had known nothing about gilmananda at that point in time.

Here we go.
The Rapid fire round starts!
Enjoy Gilmananda's fast and furious answers to all the questions put forth by our expert crew.

=============================================================

Name - Gilmananda
Location - Coimbatore, India.
Friends(Boys) Call as - Gin. (Read as Ghin with a silent 'h' and loud 'i')
Friends(Girls) call as - hmm... hmmm.... they don't call.... i mean ... they don't call with a specific name

Height - Tall - Taller than you by 14 inches to be precise.
Weight - Heavy - Heavier than you by 13 Kgs to be precise.
Face - Perfect Circle. Perfect. ( x^2 + y^2 = 25 )
Eyes - Black. Two in number.
Nose - Straight. Long.
Mush/Beard - Depends on the mood. (of the barber)
Complexion - Wheatish. (Chappathi like - but without kurma.)
Sexual Orientation - Refer to the answer to Nose. (Please Consider only the first part of it)

Dressing - Jeans, T-Shirt (with collar only)
Washing - Dhobi !
Bathing - May be !!
Sleeping - Hobby !!!

Girl Friends - currently two.
Girl Friends - actually One.
Girl Friends - Ok. Accepted. Zero.
Girls talked with - Havent' Counted before
Girls talked with - Havent' Calculated before.
Girls talked with - Ok. Accepted. Haven' talked before.

Occupation - Engineering.
What do you Engineer? - Pass. next question.
Department - Computer science and Engineering.
Languages Known - Tamil, Telugu, C, C++
What about English? - Isn't that implied given i have been answering in it so far.
Favourite Subject - Mathematics. (kanakku)
Favourite Sport - Cricket.
Favourite book - Ponniyin Selvan.

Ambition in life - To complete writing my novel before 2003.
Genre of the novel - Romance
Inspired by - Real life incidents.
Inspired by - ok.Pure Imagination.

Idea of a perfect first date - Dollar at hash percentage and exclamation at star percentage
What? - $@#%&!@*%
Learnings from past
relationship - actually speaking, the probabilty that given the facts that...
Ok.Stop. - Done.

================================================================

A Formal introduction.

2007-12-22T12:04:00.000-08:00

Hello.
This is Gilmananda speaking- the brain behind the world famous theory - Gilmaism.
Iam here to clear a doubt in the confused reader's mind- the reader who thinks that gilma is a word used widely in southern part of India to refer to a particular class of women.
NO! YOU GOT IT WRONG!
We are a chaste group of both men and women who strongly beleive in the principles that Gilmaism states.

I advise the casual reader to go through the following link and get enlightened about the theory behind gilmaism and what it calls for in present day soceity before actually going to learn more about gilmananda and the famous line of incidents that led to the breathtaking invention of THE theory.

http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=38596396&tid=
2552888956856845207&start=1