சய்பர் crimes !

First things first.

The title of this post is NOT 'cyber crimes' . We are talking about an age where poor computer science engineering students were using 31/2 inch floppy drives to transfer C assignment programs (palindrome program for example where the teacher invariably always gave 'malayalam' or 'madam' as the test input) from one desktop to another . The Internet had not yet become part and parcel of student's lives and there was no concept of cyber crimes yet. (Of course there was the infamous Dr.Prakash and his leelais were well known to students, but then that was it. ) . So we are forced to give a different interpretation to the title of this post. And that needs some complicated knowledge of செந்தமிழ்  . (evil smile)
Don't be disheartened so soon. Its not that tough.
சய்பர் simply means Zero. Though the author could have used பூஜ்யம் , முட்டை , ஒண்ணுமில்ல , ஜீரோ etc to mean ejjactly (thats a tamil word btw) the same thing, he preferred to use the less well known சய்பர் just because it is his own bloody blog and he can choose how he wants to scribble in it.

Now to the real post ->
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R runs into Gin's room in excitement. Gin is sound asleep ( you know where the sound is coming from) with a blanket over his face. R hurriedly wakes Gin up. Gin answers without removing the blanket.

Gin: "Dei.......en..n..a...da ..."
R: " dei...ezhundhuru da.... mukkiyamana vishayam"
Gin: " ada poda ... 2006 la ulagamey azhiya pogudhu....nee vera... poi paduthu thoongu da"
R (thinks for  a sec) : "2006 la ulagam azhiyapogudha...ayyayo...yenda?"
Gin:  "nee B.E degree vaangiduviyey.... "
R: "thoo... naa kooda nejamo nnu nenachu bayandhutten....  evlo plans pottu vechirukken adhukapparam"
Gin: "dei... thoonga vidudaa.... edhuvaa irundhaalum kaalaila pesikalaam"
R: "kaalaila varaikkum time illa machan... thala pora vishayam"
Gin: "maanamey poidhuchu... thala irundhu enna panna pogudhu... poittu pogattum"
R: "ippo nee ezhundhirukka poriyaa illaya"
Gin: " chancey illa.... "
R: "seri ... unna vera maadhiri tackle pandren ... "
Gin: "knorrrrrrrr"
R: "machan.. nalla yosichu sollu... unakku 'appa amma' vilayaattu vilayada  oru chance vaangi tharalaamnu paathen.... vendaamnu paduthu thoongara"

Gins back automatically straightens perpendicular to the floor and the suddenly the blanket is seen lying on the floor.

Gin: " ennada solra????????"
R: " guess pannu"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

Gin: "kandippa mokka dhaan poda pora...eppadiyo ezhupitta illa... vandha matter a yavadhu solli thola"
R: "illa machan... nejamaavey dhaan.... namma class la ella pasangalum ponnungalum indha vilayaatta velayada poraangalaamey.....G sonnaan... "
Gin (thinks for a sec) : "ada thoo.... pattikaatu payyannu marubadiyum marubadiyum prove pandriyey.... adhu chris ma- chris pa nnu oru velayaattu da"
R: "oh...appo andha G enna yemaathitaanaa ?"
Gin: "indha avamanatha veliya solladha...evanavadhu varungalathula idha vechu blog ezhudhi famous aanaalum aaiduvaanunga...."
R: "ok...marachidaren...seri appo andha velayaatula enna dhaan pannanum"
Gin: "adhu oru sema mokka game da... "
R: "dei... interesting a irukumnu G sonnaan da ...rules  ennannu solda"
Gin: " ayyo..thala ezhuthu...seri solren kettuko"
R: "ready.shoot."
Gin: "class la irukara pasanga perelaam ovvoru chit la ezhudhi oru dabba kulla poduvaanga.... adhula irundhu ella ponnungalum oru oru chit edhupaanga.... endha payyan peru varudho... avanukku andha ponnu dhaan 'chris ma' ....puriyudhaa"
R: "nag-ma theriyum ... chris-ma na? "
Gin: "seri nag-ma ney vechukko...periya vithiyasam laa onnum illa"
R: "seri... aprom"
Gin: "adhey maadhiri pasangalum ponnu pera edupaanga"
R: "super da.... aprom aprom"
Gin: "aprom dhaan kodumayey"
R: "?"
Gin: "nee unnoda chris-child kku 'dare' kodukanum"
R: "dare yaaru? endha college"
Gin: "dei...vidra... idhelaam unakku seri pattu varaadhu"
R: "dei...pls da"
Gin: "ayyo..ivan tholla thaangalayey.... dare na edhavadhu panna sollanum da..adha avanga class la pannuvaanga"
R: "enna oru kalai nayathoda yosichirukaanga ... idhu allavo game"
Gin: " idhey maadhiri maathi maathi kadiya pottuttu irupaanga oru maasathukku.... "
R: "kadaisila enna aagum"
Gin:" neraya panam selavaagum"
R : "ennada solra?"
Gin: "adhu unakku ippo puriyaadhu... game velayaadi mudi...thaanaa puriyum"
R: "ippo dhaan da puriyudhu.... G edukku NMB la treat ketaannu"
Gin: "G a? treat a? avan edhukku kettan? ennada kozhapara?"
R: "pasangalaam already ponnunga chit eduthutaanga pola irukku.... G kku P chit vandhirukaam...adha enakku tharen.... NMB la treat thariyaannu kettaan"
Gin: "ada paavigalaa.... idha business a vey maathitaangalaa..... nee enna sonna?"
R: "expert advice kettuttu varen nnu solli inga vandhutten.... "
Gin: "nalla kaariyam pannina.... idhu oru mokka game da... indha valayila mattum vizhundudaadha... naan idea tharen unakku... P a L aakka ... "
R: "L a...oh L aaa"
Gin: "Naan indha vishayathula killadi nnu unakkey theriyum"
R: " aanaa innonnu vera sonnan da G.... "
Gin: "?"
R: "already edho dare koduthirukaanaam P kku"
Gin: "aahaa.... oru naal college pogaama room la paduthu thoonginaa pala pala matter nadandiduchaa adhukulla..... enna dare?"
R: "Come alone to peoples park hotel this saturday evening at 6 PM ...wait for a surprise."
Gin: "machan... indha G kitta romba careful a irukanum da... illanaa P namma...i mean.. un kaiyya vittu poiduvaa"
R: "dei...ippo ennada panna solra"
Gin:" hotel la treat vekkaatti avan unakku total-la  vettu vechiduvaan.... "
R: "appo P chit a vaangidalaamnu solriya? idhu thappilaya?"
Gin:"idhua ennada thappu.... chinna vayasula hours together business nu oru somba game nee aadhinadhu illa.... indha indore, delhi nnu city ellam vaanguvaangaley... andha maadhiri nenachikko... "
R: "machi... andha game la oru orathula Jail nnu onnu irukumey da... naan adikadi adhula poi maatuven da"
Gin: "risk edu da.... jail kku bayandhu mayil la vittudadha...avlodhaan solluven"
R: "seri ok... P chit a vaangidaren ... aanaa saturday evening 6 manikku peoples park hotel kku ava varuvaaley...appo enna surprise tharadhu da avalukku .. avala paathaley enakku kaiyelaam nadungumey .. kannelaam sokkumey ... "

Gin: "ava enna operating system final exam question papera? nadungum .. sokkum ngara"
R: " dei... enakku practise venum da machi... innum oru vaaram dhaan irukku.... direct a poi saturday thaniya... hotel la...chancey illa machan"
Gin: "ippo unakku enna problem?"
R: "i need  practise da"
Gin: "seri vaa.. innailairundu friday varaikkum daily moonu velayum hotel polaam.. enakku saapda rendu masala dosai vaangi koduthuttu nee side la practise pannittey iru"
R: "dei..verupethaadha....unna nambi dhaan da irukken"
Gin: "yosikaren..... aaa ... oru idea.... "
R: "idhukku dhaan oorukku oru Gin venumgaradhu"
Gin: "gavanamaa kettuko .... pudhusaa internet la orkut nu oru website vandhirukku..... "
R: "adhula first-meeting tips laam irukumaa?"
Gin: "cha cha.... adhu oru social networking website"
R: "networking aa? naan andha subject la almost cup vechen da... andha vaathiyar mattum kaila kedachaan..."
Gin:" verum networking illa da...social networking"
R: "dei..school la naan social exam la yum fail aayirukken da...especially history... battle of panipuri aa...edho onnu varumey"
Gin: "ayyo...konja neram vaaya moodittu solradhu kekkariyaa"
R: "seri sollu"
Gin: "ippo browsing center povom.... andha website la register pannuvom... en kitta invites irukku.... aprom coimbatore la yey edhavadhu oru ponnu a pidippom.... adhukku friend request anuppuvom .... "
R: "friend request aa? apdeenaa? puriyalayey"
Gin: "idhula unakku enna puriyala... friend a irukka request"
R: "oh..nalla idea va irukkey....appo lover request, husband request laam kooda irukka.... ivlo simple matter theriyaama pochey"
Gin: " 7 kku aprom enna?"
R: "??"
Gin: "natural numbers la 7 kku aprom enna"
R:"8 ..enda?"
Gin: "kambi correct aa ennuviyaannu paathen"
R: "dei..."
Gin:"appo...vaaya moodittu en kooda kelambi browsing center kku vaa"

At the browsing center.
www.orkut.com

R: "orkut! ... idhukku enna da artham... nee dhaan word list laam padikarayey...solda"
Gin: "orkut na.... adhu oru idhu da"
R : "edhu?"
Gin: "ippo unakku idea venumaa vendaama?"
R: "venum...venum..."
Gin: "appo solradha sei.... coimbatore la yey oru azhagana figure profile a first kandupudi"
R: "dei.... adhu epdi da kandupudikaradhu"
Gin: " simple two step idea... step one: namma class la ponnunga peru illadha maadhiri oru ponnu peru sollu"
R: "hmm..... seetha"
Gin: " romba old fashioned a irukku.... konjam maathu"
R: "seri...Reetha"
Gin: "ayyo.... seri ok... ippo step 2... 'e' a 'i' aala replace pannu.... 'h' a remove pannu...."
R:  "hmm... R...I... Rita"
Gin: "ok..figure ready.... search pannu"
R: "nee engayo poitta da"
Gin: "one hour kku 30 rs browsing charge...seekiram search pannu"
R : " Rita nu search panna solriya?"
Gin: "seri naaney pandren"

Gin searches for the following terms.

Rita
Coimbatore
Female
******  (the name of the school)
Chennai
****** (the name of the college)

And finally finds a profile as he likes.

R: "machi...school ponna?"
Gin: "illa...first year college ponnu ... aana endha school ngaradhu romba mukkiyam... ippo chennai la indha college kku semester leave ...iva veetukku vandhiruppa....idhaan chance..friend request anuppu..."
R:"machi super da... who knows... naalaikku ivaley enakku correct aanalum aagalaam"
Gin:"dei...ava photo va uthu paar.... ivala mattum nee correct pannina..ivalukku teddy bear vaangi koduthey pichakaaran aayiduva"
R: "dei.... aprom edhukku da ivlo hi range figure kku friend request anuppa solra...edho mid-range la anupchaa podhaadha"

Gin: "anga dhaan nee oru universal rule a purinjikanum .... maambazham marathula romba mela irukunnu parikaamayey vittutanaa....kadaisiyila kaakaa kothittu poidum"
R: "enna oru thathuvam.... ippo naan maanga va .. kaaka va"
Gin: "thenga...co ..co ..nut"
R: "dei"
Gin: "appo vaaya moodittu anuppu da request a"
R: "ok da... iva kitta pesi  practise pannikanum...apdi dhaaney?"
Gin: "ejjactly"
R: "oru vaarathukku aprom ivala enna pandradhu"
Gin: "kavala padaadha...adhukapparam avaley unna madhikka maatta"
R: "adhu epdi da avlo sure a solra"
Gin: "ovvoru payyanukku oru threshold time irukku da.... adhu unakku romba kammi.... nee epdinnu one week kulla ava kandupudikalanaa ava unna vida mosam nu artham"
R: "ennamo solra..."
Gin: "seri...enakku neraya vela irukku... nee browsing mudichittu hostel vandhu seru"





After a couple of days.

At Gin's room.

Gin: "ennada .... innaikku saturday evening ... kadandha naalu naalaa aaley kaanom"
R: "full time browsing center la dhaan da irundhen...."
Gin: "wow"
R: "adhu ennamo scrapbook aamey.... orkut la... adhula dhaan naanum Rita vum pesikittom"
Gin: "super da.... enna solra Rita"
R: "she is a wonderful girl machi...sema open"
Gin: "ohhhhh....ho"
R: "in fact enna ketta vaarthayalalaam thittina... i mean...chellamaa..u know...jus lik tat"
Gin: "ohhhhh...ho..ho"
R: "avalukku enna romba pidichu pochu machi... in fact i told her abt this chris-ma thingy also"
Gin: "ohhhhh...ho..ho..ho"
R : "infact P ya vida enakennamo ...i feel.... "

R's cellphone vibrates
R: "just a min da...Ritu va dhaan irukkanum....he he... not sure how she got my number...ha ha.... naughty gurl"

R reads the msg.... his face expression suddenly changes... he starts hurriedly towards the door. Gin runs up and pulls the cellphone from Rs hand. Reads the message.

Sender: P
Message1: "Next time use private msg in orkut. Scrap book is open."
 Gin stares at R.
cellphone goes <<<>>>

Message recieved.
Sender: P
Message2:
"btw,Rits is my school buddy.she is irritated abt the whole episode.So am i.
And don't even dream of people's park today"

Gin hands over the cellphone to R.  R takes a look at the second msg. Get shocked.
Silence prevails for a few seconds.

R: "machi...enna da idhu...ipdi aayiduchu"
Gin:"sorry machan.... idha naan sathiyamaa edhir paarkala da... "
R: "machi...enakku adha pathilaam kooda perusa  kavala illa da"
Gin: "aprom????????"
R: "andha Rita ponnu kitta unna pathi romba high level la vera sollitten da... ippo enakku ketta peru...unakku nalla peru vandhidum P kitta"

Gin's eyes brighten up.... lighten up.... mouth's a big curve now.
Gin puts his head down, controls laughter and slowly moves out of the door. And once he makes sure he is atleast a few feet away from R, shouts at the peak of his voice and starts running like a madman in the hostel lounge

"Machi.....kavala padaadha.....  Preethi kku inimey naan guaranteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

[The chase as usual begins]