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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

oo-la-la wonder-la - PART-2


Teeeeengggg Teeeengggg Tinggg...... Bangalore Lokamanya Tilak express will shortly arr ... err...no..this is not the announcement i intended to make.  Wait a minute. AAh..ok..gotcha Here it is.

Announcement Number-1
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This post should not be held as a review or comment about Wonder-La.  This is a work of pure fiction and the opinions/ideas expressed here are solely that of the author's. [mostly ideas that  generally hit him fresh during those cold night, long and romantic beach side date with someone from the Padukone family. (Dream date pa - literally! )]

Announcement Number-2
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Kids who have landed on this page by searching for 'wonder-la' and are looking for Kids-stuff, please move away immediately. This particular post is not suitable for children (unless you are a PPP like me - Pinjulayey Pazhutha Pazham) !  Anycase, you will be better off checking out


[yippeee... I love spider killing ! .... it gives me immense pleasure the split second the spider turns red before it chokes to death! wow..what a game for kids!]


And Adults (18+), who have already wasted a couple of mins shooting random spiders and who are also looking for more of Kids-Stuff  , jump in folks...this one is for you -lets go- ooh-la-la-Wonder la!


Announcement number 3
You may want to read the first part of the story here before proceeding on to this one.

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Sunday.

Gin gets up in the morning and is surprised to see R already awake and sitting in a corner messaging.

Gin:  "R, enna da ... P oda samaadhaanam aaiduchaa ... cha...oru swarasiyamey illama sanda pottukareenga da...  oru one year...at least 6 months sanda pottu pesaama irundhaa oru gethu.... maximum 6 hours ..adhukulla la poi sorry kettudara.... waste da nee "

R: "dei... indha murai un aasai palichidum pola dhaan irukku.... "

Gin: "oh... enna aachu?"

R: " nethulirundhu onnilla rendilla... ezhu  message anupchitten da... sorry kettu.... no reply... ellamey failure dhaan.... cha"

Gin: "kadaisiyaa innoru murai anuppi paaru...kandippa..."

R: "reply varumgariyaa?"

Gin: "illa varaadhu !"

R: "aprom yen da anuppa solra"

Gin: "already ezhu murai message anupchitta... idhukkum reply varalennaa  .... 'yettu another failure ' nu oru mokka joke adippen ...adhukku dhaan :) "

R:  "thoo...."

Gin: "seri ok 10 mins...takkunu ready aagu...time aachu... kelambanum....wonder la!"

R: "yes...wonderla.....ellathayum marandhuttu innaikku freak out pannaporen!"


After 600 seconds .

R is in front of the dressing table.

Gin: "Dei.... ennadaa idhu  pattayaaa pacha color la oru belt.... karate la vaanginadha?"

R: "illa... kada-theru la vaanginadu...."

Gin: "vera color-ey kedaikaliyaa da unakku!"

R: "go-green da..."

Gin: "enna go-green?? pacha kozhandhaiya irundhaa nee ippo pacha porukki aayittennu ulagathukku kaatriya?"

R: "ayyo ayyo....dei....dood aagaradhukku mudhal vazhiey belt color a change pandradhu dhaan.... dood kavidhai kettadhilla nee"

Gin: "urupatta maadhiri dhaan...adhu enna?"

R: (in TR style) "thala ya pannungada spikeu... oora suthi
      alaya karizma bikeu ...  
      kannukku podungadaa coolersu.....
      namma denomination eppavumey dollarsu...
      mandaveli mylapore luzzaa...
      irundhaalum saapidu  nee pizza...      
      facebooku orkuttu twitteru
      english la appappo peteru...   
      idupula color colora beltu ... machi
      ponnungalaam udanadiyaa meltu.... "

Gin : "sahikala"

R: "periyavanga sollirukaangaley....oru dood a innoru dood aaladhaanda purinjukka mudiyum nu.... unakelaammmm eppo purinju....."

Gin: "dei...edho message vandhaa maadhiri irukku...."

R: "aah...apdiyaa...ayyayo..."  (looks anxiously at the cellphone)

Gin: "kelambi vaa... message um varala oru mannum varala.... ivan laam dood aam..."



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On their way to Wonder-la . Gin drives the bike and R sits behind.

Speed: 27 Km/hr.

R: "wow... munnadi semmayaa oruthi passion bike la oru dood oda poittu irukka da.....c'mon da...follow pannu da andha bike a.. quick quick...."

Gin: "dei...edhukku.... adi vaangaradhukka.... "

R: "machan....idhula thappey illa da...naan padichirukken da"

Gin: "padichirukiyaa????ennada solra?"

R: "self help books la laam padichadhilla nee??....."

Gin: "self-help  aa?? edhu....indha 'Count your chickens before they run away with the neighbors dog'....andha maadhiri books a?"

R: "exactly...andha maadhiri books ellathulayum 'follow your passion' nu potirupaangaley da.. adhaan follow panna solren...adhu passion bike dhaan."

Gin: (to himself) "aandavaa... ivan thirundhara maadhiri theriyala.... innaikku ennenna nadakka pogudho...."


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At Wonderla (Crowded Ticket counter)


Gin : "Machaan... ticket 500 rooba.... ATM card irukka....???"

R :"he he... indha PAN card, Driving License , ATM card ... idhelaamey wallet la
    original vechikka koodhaadhu... xerox copy dhaan vechikanum nu engamma sollirukaanga da"

Gin: "ada thoo...kaasilannu solradhu kku ipdi oru saakka....naaney ticket eduthu tholaikaren..."

R: (in a loud tone)"adhu seri...ennada....ticket vaangaravan ellarum thelivaa irukaanga"

A couple of people throw a weird  glance at Gin and R.

Gin : (in a silent tone)"yennadaa solra????"

R: " illa da... water theme park.....varravanga ellarum thanni la irupaangannu sonnayey...adhaan ketten"

Gin: (silencing R) "ssshhh....enda ipdi silra thanamaa pesittey irukka...."

R: "be the change you want to see nu ....yaaro sollirukaangaley.... (thinks)"

Gin: "Gandhiji sonnaru....aana indha artham illa...."

R : "endraikku midnight 12 manikku oru vaalibanaal besant nagar beach il ilam pengalai sight adikka mudigiradho....andraikku dhaan indha naadu sudhandhiram petradhu endru artham..... idhu yaaru sonna? carl lewis aa  karl marx a???"

Gin : "shut up .. ippo nirutha poriyaa illayaa !!"

R: "ok...ok... silence.. history pidikaadhunnaa sollittu po...yen kathara ??"


[After a few seconds]
Gin: (to himself)"aandavaa... ivan thirundhara maadhiri theriyala.... innaikku ennenna nadakka pogudho...."

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Inside Wonder la..


R: "machaa,.... follow me.....gold da..gold...."

R rushes towards a pretty girl who is walking at a distance.
Gin carries his heavy body and tries to match R's speed.

R after nearing the girl starts whistling for a while... dosen't get any response from the girl... and then hums an old Ilayaraja melody.

R: "♫  ... endha pennidamum illaadha ondru...adhu edho....unnidam irukiradhu....♫ ♪...adhai ariyaamal vidamaatten....adhu varai unnai thoda maaten....♫   "

Gin just reaches the place and pulls R from behind and stops him.
Gin: "dei vetti....adhu ponnu illada...payyan....long hair vechirundhaa back side la irundhu paathaa aambalayaa pombalayaa nnu kooda adayaalam theriyaadhaa da...."

R: "aaha...thanks machan... vaa...avanukku artham puriyaradhukulla odiduvom...."

Gin: "aandavaa.... (fill in the blanks) "


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After hours of rides ,both Gin and R are terribly tired.
R wants to try one more ride while Gin refuses.

Lazy river - Basically a ride to relax where you get into a man made river and just stay afloat for 30 minutes as you slowly move across the river to the other end. 

R wants to try it while Gin who is even more lazier than the river decides to stay back and sit under a tree.


 R immediately after jumping into the river finds a girl floating alongside alone . He waits for a while and just keeps pace with the girl.

R (striking a conversation..) : "hey"
girl  : "hello... "
R: "nice place ..huh"
girl: "oh yeah...am loving it"
R: "coincidence! am loving it too!"
girl: "what was that?"
R :"never mind... where are you from ? Bangalore?"
girl: "why do you want to know?"
R: "ok...lets talk something else... how did the indo-US congress for the welfare of the african tribes meeting go? i heard the tribes were going like 'ooooooooo' "
girl: "omg!"
R: "he he... so u want to switch back to the older question?"
girl: "u r funny!"
R : "no..i am R ...from chennai!"
girl: "chennai yaa??? sooper!"
R: "oh... tamizhaa nee?"
girl: "aamaam.....am pooja"
R: "saraswathi a lakshmi aa?"
girl: "what?"
R: "enna pooja nnu ketten"
girl: "kadavuley...."
R: "rendumey kadavul dhaan ... he he..."
.
.
.

[in the meantime]
Gin sits under a tree. No one is seen around.
Suddenly from nowhere a guy silently moves towards Gin and tells him something . 
A hushed conversation takes place for a while. 
Gin looks around for R and to his shock finds him at a distance with a girl!



.
.
.
R: "so pooja... unakku coimbatore la friends irukaangalaa?"

Pooja: (thinks for a sec) "illayey.... not anybody i can think of immediately"

R: (sigh of relief) "good... thanks!"

Pooja: "yenna  good...yenna thanks?? "

R: "illa...coimbatore ponnunga laam oru maadhiri ... u know.... romba koba kaara ponnunga.... adhaan... just... sonnen.... "

Pooja: "ennada R...girlfriend aa?? therinjaa adi pinniduvaala?? "

R: "cha cha.. not at all.... Girlfriend irundhaa unna maadhiri oru azhagaana ponnada time spend pannuvenaa?"

Pooja: "...summa kadha vidadha da...."

R: " azhaga irukennu sonnaa kadha vidarennu solra..."

Pooja: "hey... naan sonnadhu girl friend kaaga"

R: "cha cha.... naan oru suthamaana payyan.... u know...as pure as ... u know.... cooker la irundhu suda suda edutha  idli maadhiri....avlo pure"

Pooja:"ayyoooooo...."

R: "nee epdi??"

Pooja: "avasiyam sollanumaa...don't u think this is too much for a conversation with a stranger on a random ride like this?"

R: "well...life is a strange movie ... with twists and turns all over the place"

What happens after this needs a bit of explanation. The suddenness of what is about to happen might be tough to explain in words, but i would invite the reader to imagine the situation. All of what is explained below happens in about 2-3 seconds.
 The river takes a twist, Pooja's float turns first and goes away from sight. At the same instant, one other float from behind crashes on R's float and he is shaken up a bit.Both their floats stop at the turn of the river and R turns at once instinctively to find some unknown guy smiling at him in a weird manner. The Random guy who could not have seen Pooja by any chance smiles again at R and says

Random_guy: "Sir.... Ungalukaaga dhaan ivlo dhooram vandhen!"

R: "Yaaruyaa nee?"

Random_guy: "naan yaarungaradhu mukkiyam illa sir.... unga prachanaya epdi theekaradhunnugaradhu dhaan mukkiyam"

R: "ennayaa solra??? enna prachana?enna theekka pora nee???"

Random_guy: "enakku ellam theriyum sir.....(smiles weirdly again) girlfriend kooda laam sanda pottaa summa vida koodaadhu sir!"

R: "yov.... enna venum unakku???"

Random_guy: (suddenly lowers his voice) : "sir... unga friend ellathayum sonnaru.... indha maadhiri problem ku ellam naan dhaan sir indha area la dealer..leader...ellamey..... neenga mattum indha leggiyam vaangi saapudunga....  ungalukku 10 ey nimishathula yaanai balam kedaikkum sir .... aprom neengaley nenachaalum ungalaala......sir...sir.... enga sir poreenga.... irunga sirr.....just 2000 rupees sirr... unga friend neenga kandippa vaanguveengannu sonnaaru sirrr.....sirrr....."

R accelerates his float and takes the turn to find Pooja's float at a distance

Pooja (at a distance..getting out of the float) :"All the best with your girlfriend  R... my lazy friends are waiting... nice meeting u.... bbyeeeeeeeeee"


R lies on the float and starts staring blankly at the sky ...
 [sad music in Subhabhanthuvarali raga in background]

--------------------------------------------[:( :( Not all stories have happy endings]------------------------------------

That night in the room

<<<< Cellphone vibrates >>>

1 Message Received.
Sender :  P
Message:  " Gin spoke to me and explained everything...."

R rushes to Gin

R: "dei paradesi.... ennada phone panni pesinaa P kitta...."

Gin : "i explained everything machaan!"

R: "dei...... enna everything??"

Gin: " unna maadhiri oru payyan kedaikka ava leggiyam panni vechirukanum nu dhaan... i mean....baagiyam da...sorry sorry ..maathi solliten da!!!! :) :)!!"

R: " podaaanggggggggg"


<<<< Cellphone vibrates >>>

1 Message Received.
Sender :  P
Message:  " apologies accepted... waiting to see you soon...good night for now <3 "


-------------------------------------------[Some stories just cannot have bad endings!]------------------------------

























11 comments:

TrueIdentity said...

R: "saraswathi a lakshmi aa?"
girl: "what?"
R: "enna pooja nnu ketten"
girl: "kadavuley...."
R: "rendumey kadavul dhaan ... he he..."

Typical Kamal kinda Joke. Still Like it...

Gin said...

i did watch Manmadhan ambu first day first show... but did not think it had much of an influence ... anyway... thanks for leaving a comment ! :)

Anonymous said...

R: "well...life is a strange movie ... with twists and turns all over the place"


M A, M A, Phlosofy Phlosofy...

raj..

Gin said...

Hah.. for a few days having got no comments,i thought this was a failure post :( ... now i am alright :)

And Thanks Enigma for clarifying this resembles Crazy rather than Kamal .. i am sure crazy has a better and cleaner sense of humor any day than Kamal!

santa said...

@arun: I think the reason could be the increasing use of RSS subscribing tools. Lazy to leave "google reader" maybe, like me.

But I am sure that thanni joke was influenced by manmadhan ambu. Overall jokes were better in this post.

Gin said...

@Santa,
Thanks for leaving a comment.. being a laziness advocate myself, i know how difficult it is to pull yourself up and post a comment [now i understand why you wanted the word verification to be removed :) :) ]

And please...i did not like Manmadhan ambu that much to be influenced by it.... :(

Janu said...

Hey I just came across your blog and its greaaaaaat.. And proud to say I am your junior from PSG Tech.. Keeo going... :)

Gin said...

@janu,

Thanks!! Do spread the word abt Gilmaism to your friends :)

Koushik said...

Very nice na.
I see a big change in your writing skills and style in this episode.

Gin said...

Thanks Koushik!

Unknown said...

Boss, ATM cardaa xerox copy vacha mothal GDNaidu neengala thaan irupeenga!! Anyway good tip saar!