Purpose of life.

Dear readers,
Gin and R are back in this one after popular demand.(well actually there was only one person who requested it and since he seemed popular enough, i will stick to the phrase).

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Gin sings casually as he enters the hostel room of R - "idhu oru Gin maalai pozhudhu... vaana magal naanugiraal ... avamaanangalai veesugiraal ...A E O AEO "

As he opens the door, he finds to his surprise a gang of atleast 5-10 of his classmates sitting in the two-inmate room in various twisted positions (no, nothing other than what meets the eye is meant here) and chatting with each other. R as usual seems to be the leader of the conversation. To avoid cluttering the notation, in what follows we will indicate all other people in the room by VP-i ( where i belongs to set of natural numbers) and where VP can be expanded as "Vetti Payyan". As the individual identity of each of these VPs is not important in any way to our purposes, we can assume this statement holds without loss of generality.



R(addressing the group): "machan... namakelaam vayasu aagittey pogudhu .. thirumbi paakaradhukulla third year vandhuttom..hmmmm"

VP1: "yaaru thirumbi paakaradhukulla? P dhaaney"

R: "dei... yen da suthi suthi ava kittayey vareenga... give me a break guys"

VP2: "ok R... indha vayasu prachanaya .. i mean vayasu aagara prachanaya tackle panna edhavadhu vazhi irukka da"

R: "kai neraya arrears vechirundhaa oru vela second year la yey irundhirukalaam... but enna pandradhu...namelaam adhi medhavinga vera.. gethaa pass aayittom"

VP2: "dei... exam la bit adichi pass pannittu ..."

VP3:" dei..R pathi thappa pesaadha ... avan exam la adikaradhum 'bit'tu ... dialogue adikaraladhum 'bit'tu... yen.. daily paakaradhum 'bit'tu ...
he ambit is nothing but bit da"

R : "ivan oruthan...GRE kku padikara vaarthaya epdiyaavadhu sentence la use pannradhukkaaga nammala saavadikiraan"

VP3: "nee mattum yenna... nethu P ey vandhu caramel(food court) variyaannu ketta... ozhungaa poi irukka vendiyadhu dhaaney... mundhaanaal barrons 'A' list padicha orey kaaranathukaaga 'i am ambivalent about it' nnu sonna... ava kevalamaa oru look vittuttu hostel kku poitta"

R: "seri seri...vidungada"

Gin jumps into the conversation
Gin: "adhu mattumaa...night message vera pannaaaley... 'ambi vaal ..sowkiyamaa' nnu"

The gang bursts into laughter.

VP3: " ambi vaal...super name da"

Gin: "R... ponnunga nammala paathu 'thambi maadhiri' nnu sonna dhaan problem... 'ambi maadhiri' nnu sonna thappey illa"

R: "dei..dei... please niruthungadaa"

VP4: "seri..back to topic"

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING

R: "appa..nee dhaan da nanban... ok...so namma prachana namakku vayasu aagaradhu dhaan... 10 years from now where do we see ourselves da"

VP5: "in our marriages da.."

R: "ayyo...mokka podadheenga da...this is a serious question... indha life oda purpose enna? yaaravadhu yosichi paathirukeengalaa ?"

Gin:"nethu night adhukapparam periya kevalamaa da? philosophy pesa aarambichitta"

R: "no da ...serious a dhaan kekkaren... is there a purpose to life at all?"

Gin: "adhelaam enakku theriyaadhu...aanaa naan oru book la padichen... most successful people have some catch phrase in their minds and life their lives according to it"

R: "super idea da... nammalum yen catch phrases yosikka koodadhu...yaarukaavadhu edhavadhu catch phrase thonradha?"

VP6: "catch phrase laam kashtam da.. namma tamizh padathula ethana songs irukku... adhayey namma yen life la use panni munnera koodadhu?"

R: "idhuvum super idea... two minutes kanna moodi yosippom... adhukapparam ellarum oru line sollanum...illa ..paadanum... ok va"

Group: "OK"

Two minutes pass by. R breaks the silence.

R:"Ok...VP1..shoot"

VP1: "ekka chekkam aagi pochu kanakku..."

R: "nee thirundhavey maatta...next"

VP2: "meen pidithu meendum...aatril vida aasai"

R: "arumayaana philosophy...urupattaa maadhiri dhaan ...next"

VP3: "R...nee unnodadha sollu da"

R: "ok... (starts singing) veedu varai atha ponnu... veedhi varai matha ponnu... kaadu varai enjoy pannu ...kadaisi varai ..."


The group shouts in chorus "vaila bunnnu ...kadaisi varai vaaila bun'nu"


R: "ok... idhu othu varaa maadhiri theriyala ... pesaama topic change panniduvom"

Gin: "Seri appo P pathi pesuvomaa"

R: "Enda Enda .... enda ipdi irukeenga... "

VP-3: " R... seriousaa kekkaren ... P a nee love pandriyaa?"

R: "seri da... naan kulikka poren.... romba sweating sweating aa irukku"

Immediately two VPs block the door.

VP-4: "Dei Dei... kuliyal naa ennannu theriyumaa unakku"

R: (sarcastic tone) "machi... ablutions u don't know....'A' list da..padichirupiyey "

VP-4: "dei...avana nadula thallunga daa"

R gets pushed into the middle of the group by the relatively powerful VPs (Gin excluded here). It looks like the last scene before the interval of a second (possibly third) rate tamizh movie where the vamp (to-be) gets harassed by wierd looking villains. (Un)fortunately as opposed to the case of tamizh movies, we don't have the hero jumping down from a hundred storey building (graphics kalakkal mind you) to save the heroine.

R: "seri seri... enna venum ungalukku ippo"

Gin: "unmai"

R: "Dei Gin neeyumaa"

Gin: (sivaji tone) "enakku vera vazhi theriyalayeyyyyyyyyyyy"

VP1: "R .. seri idha mattum sollu... Yes/No"

R: "ennada kelvi ... summa Yes/No naa enna solradhu"

VP2: "dei..adingadaa avana"

R gets beaten up (mildly)

R: "dei...dei...vidungadaaa"

VP3: "Seri... marubadiyum kekkarom.... P un 'aal'aa illayaa?"

R: "modhalla love pandriyaannu keteenga ... ippo "aal"aa nnu kekkareenga... ambiguity da"

VP4: "ambi kutty...idhula enna ambiguity?"

R:"naan love pandra ponney ennayum love panninaa dhaan ava en aal da... love is just necessary but not sufficient for 'aal' da"

VP3: "ivana adikaradhulaa thappey illa"

R gets one more round of applause.

Gin: " dei dei...niruthunga da.... naan oru simple litmus test solren... ava ivan aalaa illayaannu kandupidikaradhukku"

VP-4: "idhukku dhaan oorukku oru Gin venumgaradhu"

VP-i : "machi...enakku oru doubt....litmus na enna da?"

Gin: "12th std chemistry practicals la pass panniyaa?"

VP-i: (thinks for a second) :" oh yes... external examiner kku biriyani vaangi koduthu ellarayum pass panna vechitaanga da"

Gin: "ada thu...seri unakku puriyara maadhiri solren... nee fail a pass a nnu mudivu pannadhu edhu?"

VP-i: "andha vegetable biriyani dhaan da"

Gin: "aah...seri...appo adhu dhaan litmus.... purinjudhaa?"

VP-i: "edho sumaaraa"

GIn: "naalaikku famous-cafe (hotel nearby) kku poi rendu plate litmus nnu kettudaadha ... ok va"

VP-x: "Machi...topic change aagudhu... andha pathumaasa mattera sollu..."

GIn: (shouts) "litmus daa.. litmus"

Vp-x: "edho ezhavu...solli thola da seekiram"

Gin: "ok..gavanamaa kettukonga... oru payyan oru ponnoda evlo close aa irukaannu kandupikka nammaku thevai avanoda mobile phone! adhu dhaan namma "aal" test oda litmus"

Vp-1: "puriyalayey"

GIn: "ippo R cellphone a vaangi..illa pudungi paarunga ... adhula P kiita irundhu ethana message, ethana call vandhirukku nnu note pannunga ... aprom P oda pera eppadi store pannirukaannu paarunga ... aprom indha formula va use pannunga .....

aal_co-efficient = number_of_outgoing_calls*(5) + number_of_incoming_calls * (-5) + number_of_sent_messages_that_include_the_word_"hi" * (-10) + number_of_sent_messages_that_include_"chellam/cutie_pie"*(10) + hamming_distance(original_name,stored_name) * 15

indha value jaasthi aaga aaga ava "aal"ish aa aaayittu varaannu artham..... "


VP-ALL (chorus) : "Swami gilmananda vukku oru 'O' podu ....OOOOOO O OOOOO O OOOOO O!!!"

At this moment all the vetti payaans are so excited that they start running in circles around Gin. Some shout, some scream, some dance, some jump. As the commotion builds more and more , a lot more VPs from other rooms who were so far probably chatting in mobile also join the party for no particular reason and start shouting... The screams become more and more and people from other floors of the hostel put their necks out to see whats happening... The original reason for the excitement is almost forgotten by now and suddenly one brainy VP brings a bucket full of water from the bathroom and splashes it on the group that was making the noise... This adds to the confusion as more people are seen running around. People from other departments come running in with screams that resemble remote tribes in south africa with the predominant sound of "ooooooooooooooo" .... some guys run around with hockey sticks...some with cricket bats...some with tennis racquets.....and some fellows who don't involve in sports with the chairs in their rooms. The whole place now looks chaotic and unstable with the noise level blowing off the eardrum ... in short the place resembled what ancient scriptures describe as "mix of hell and heaven" and some modern ones as "engineering boys hostel" !

and amidst all these commotion and chaos, a quick but steady movement of two well known figures ( male ones btw) is seen. These two figures quietly move out of the hostel and reach the snack bar.
one figure tells the other: "machi...just miss...illanaa raavirupaanunga"
the second figure: "aamaan da... ivanunga weak point therunji dhaan sonnen... illanaa nee theva illama maatirupiyey"
"thanks da.. unna vaazhnaal poora marakka maattten"
"adhelaam ok da... enakku orey oru doubt"
"enna?"
"ivlo hype create aayiduchu....oru vela nee nejamaavey P a..... "
"podaaaanggggggggggggggggggggggggg"

[the chase begins]