Vada Poche

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THIS IS THE LATEST POST IN THIS SERIES. IF YOU ARE VISTING GILMABAD FOR THE FIRST TIME, PLEASE START READING FROM THE FIRST POST (On the contrary, you can also choose to ignore me at will and pick any post at random and read. It won't make much of a difference) . THE ARCHIVES CAN BE FOUND ON THE RIGHT.

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Ok.This being a special post, i spent a minute or two thinking about how to begin it. A love poem may be, i thought. A gilma punch may be, i wondered.  But i think what i have decided on finally makes much more sense and that is by congratulating YOU folks for spending your time here on such an occasion. Hats off folks. You have yet again proved that you are true Gilmas!!! With such a huge fan following (yeah, each fan is worth a million and i will let you people do the math), i take pride in presenting you the highly anticipated 'Vada poche'- the valentine special.

However, i will stop for a second here to warn you that there is no hidden message or hidden meaning or hidden agenda or hidden philosophy aimed at the world or individuals at large in what follows. What is about to come is as plain and as simple and as round and as small and as hot and as tender as a....rightly guessed.... our own paati sutta ulundhu vada!

Here we go.Enjoy while it is hot.  (huh there again... not life...vada i mean folks...vada).

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VADA-POCHE!

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Gin and R are seen sitting.... hey wait...no...hang on....there is a situation here. There are two people sitting in a restaurant alright, but they are not our familiar Gin and R. 'Anga konjam Joom pannunga' shouts the cameraman, i zoom in and we indeed find Gin sitting in one of the tables. The person next to Gin is certainly someone we have not seen so far. Who is this strange person?  We zoom further and the more we zoom the less clearer this figure sitting next to Gin gets. That's weird! We look closer by troubling the eyes a little more and hah...some solace. Our faith in humanity is still in tact. Its a 'He'...(that made me feel like a doctor in a tamizh movie..no no..not dr vijay...sabbaa!)

Well at this point having confirmed that nothing disastrous has happened, we shall not trouble ourselves anymore in figuring out who this mystery man is. As he appears really similar to Gin in the way he is gulping  his cream of tomato soup (yeah, for the not so enlightened lot, there is a unique way every fat man drinks soup. Unique as in Uniquely identifiable even by a computer algoithm.Try noticing next time you encounter one), for all our purpose we will refer to him as Gintu (Gin-2 in unicode).

AAh... The director shouts 'cutttt' and i can sense he actually means 'Cut the crap!'. Ok. I will stop talking here. The camera will now takeover.

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Gin: "Machaan.... enakku un kitta romba naalaa kekkanumnu oru aasai....indha Polygamy pathi nee enna nenaikara?"

Gintu: "pakathu veetu Sivagamy pathi theriyum... polygamy pathi laam enakku theriyaadhu"

Gin : "yen da..adhula unakku nambikkai illayaa?"

Gintu: "ondrey sei....adhai nandrey sei....adhai indrey sei nu periyavanga sollirukaanga da"

Gin: "neeyelaam oru comp-sci student a da.... multi-threading ,multiple proceeses laam padichavan maadhiriyaa pesara nee"

Gintu: "Z for zombie nu oru unix la oru process state irukku.... padichirukiyaa?"

Gin: "aahaa... unma dhaan....adhu seri.... solla ponaa namma friends R-P kaadhal vaazhkaya unix process states vechey describe pannidalaam pola irukkey.... R-Running  P-Page wait..... correct a porundhudhu illa?!""

Gintu: "avanga vaazhkai mattum illa machaan.... unnodadhum dhaan..... nee romba unna pathiyey overaa nenachittu irukiyaa..... adhanaala dhaan 'I' state la yey irukka..... I for idle"

Gin: "I-d-l-e idle pathi pesana odaney nyabagam varudhu .. I-d-l-y idly vada edhavadhu order pannuvomaa?"

Gintu: "saapaatlayey kuriyaa iru.... seri order panni thola..."

Gin: "enakku vada ...unakku?"

[Gin places the order]

A few minutes pass...

Gintu: "btw...kalyanam nichayam aayikku da!"

Gin : "wow...congratulations!"

Gintu: "dei..enakilla da... kanagaraj kku"

Gin : "seri ok... kanagaratulations!"

Gintu: "ponnu bombay yaam... exam kku solli kuduthu correct aayidichaam da "

Gin : "wow....kanagaraj avlo brilliant a ...pona semester paavam rendu arrear vechaaney!?"

Gintu: "exam kku munnadi naal night padikaama hotelkku poi mutton biriyani saapta aprom kaalaila exam la goat dhaan adippan!"

Gin: "aprom epdi da solli kuduthu correct panninaan?"

Gintu: "solli kuduthadhu ava"

Gin: "sooper...enna exam..'set' theory a???"

Gintu: "illa algorithms!"

Gin: "oho....naanum algorithms exam kku munnadi kovilukelaam poittu dhaan da ponen...aaana grade kevalamaa dhaan vandhadhu!"

Gintu: "muthu maari amman kovilkku pona mattum pathaadhu machaan.... knuth-morris algorithmum padichittu poganum....appo dhaan exam la pass aaga mudiyum!"

Gin: "appo kovil kku poradhu thappunnu solriyaa?"

Gintu: "poosarigalikku venumnaa worship is work aa irukalaam.... aana namakelaam work dhaan worship a irukanum da!"

Gin: "karuthu pramaadham...cho chweet!"

Gintu: "ennada..oru maadhiri solra!!"

Gin: "deiii....aamam da ..un kitta romba naala oru vishayam sollanumnu irundhen"

Gintu: "dei...seekiram solda...enakku bayamaa irukku"

Gin: "vishayam oru bombay ponnu pathi...mudhallayey sollanumnu irundhen....marandhey poitten"

Gintu: "aahaa.... maraathi ponnu pathi solla maradhi ya?  namba mudilayey .. yaaru da ava?"

Gin: " nerla paathadhilla.... aanaa ava bayangara gundu ponnu"

Gintu: "ennada kozhappara?!!"

Gin: "aamaam machaan...yen kanavula bayangara gundaaa oru bombay ponnu adikadi varaaa da.....yenney theriyala..."

Gintu: " 'Dream big' apdeenu edhavadhu self-help books la padichuruppa.... "

Gin: "dei.... summa iruda.... gundaa irundhaalum ava sema azhagaa irukaa da..."

Gintu: "aahaa....fatal attraction kelvi pattirukken... idhu enna 'fat-aal' attraction aa!!"

Gin: "infact kanavula kooda avalum naanum daily edhir edhir chair la okkarndhu... "

Gintu: "chat pandringala?"

Gin : "illa chat saapidarom.... ava bhel puri...naan vada pav!"

Gintu: "sutham! extra 'aalu' kettu vaangi saaptirupaaley"

Gin: "aamaam da... epdi da kandupidicha?"

Gintu: "bombay ponnungara... .oru 'aalu' epdi da pathum!"

Gin: "dei.... woh bahut acchi ladki hai"

Gintu: "ecchi vazhiyudhu,.. thodachikko"

Gin: "infact oru naal naanga south indian restaurantkku ponom... naan oru changekku bakoda order panninen...."

Gintu: "aandavaa"

Gin: "ava pakoda va saapida edutha podhu oru piece keezha vizha irundhadhu..."

Gintu: "theriyum..... appo nee...'pakodaaaa' nu tamizhla katha..ava 'pakadoooo' nu hindi la katha... odaney nee thaavi pidichu saaga kidandha pakoda va kaapatha...bayanga romance nadhadhadhu....adhaaney"

Gin: "exactly...epdi da nerla paathaa maadhiriyey solra?"

Gintu: "yen thala ezhuthu!"

Gin : "ava en dream date da...infact avala pathi nenachaaley i start to blush da!"

Gintu: "  inimey avala pathi pesinaa kandippa unakku kannam sivakkum....vekkathunaala illa...veekathunaala... orey kuthu.... "

Gin : "ippo ennangara?"

Gintu: "kanavula vandha ponna oru ketta-sapna va nenachu marandhudungaren!"

[At this point their order (including the vada) is placed on the table and the topic immediately gets diverted]

Gin :"eppo ketta order a eppo eduthuttu varaan paaru.... arai mani neram nammala kaaka vekkaraanunga... aana ivangalukku peru 'waiters' a??  !"

Gintu : "seri seri...afterall oru vada latea vandhadhukku ipdi kochikara"

Gin: (in an angry tone) "vada pathi unakkenna da theriyum... "

Gintu: " seri seri cool down... vada pathi unakku oru trivia solren... "

Gin: "trivia sonna kekkaren.. aaana sonnadhukku apparam tharuviya nu kaiyya neetinaa kekkamaatten!"

Gintu:(gets angry) "nee aachu un vada aachu.... go to hell..."

Gin : "vasadhiyaa pochu... anga poi oil kopparaila porichu porichu saapidaren!"

Gintu : "oru vadayoda ivlo emotionalaa attach aagadha da..avlodhaan solluven"

Gin: "vada da...summa illa...vada"

Gintu:" ayyoo"

Gin: "seri...edho trivia solrennu sonniyey"

Gintu: "solren kelu...north indians kku vadainaaley pidikaadhu..... aanalum avangala namma 'vada-indhiyargal' nu dhaan solrom.... enna oru irony!"

Gin: "north indians kku vada pidikaadhaa??evan sonnan? nethu naan oru bengali payyan periya vada saapidaradha paathaney!"

Gintu: "bengali yaa??...avanga aatathula kidayaadhu...nee venumnaa avan kitta poi kettu paaru...avan saaptadhu ennannu .... 'bada' nu  dhaan solluvaan.... nee vera periya vada saaptaan nnu solra.... appo 'badaa bada' nu solluvaan infact"

Gin: "ayyo..podhum....indha conversationa namma idhoda niruthikalaamaa...enakku pasikudhu...naan vada saapidanum!"

Gintu: "saapidu...aanaa adhukku munnadi nalla think panni paaru.... vada saaptaa odambu bayangaramaa eridum.... vada saaptu gundaana ethana pera naan paathirukken theriyumaa?"

Gin: (thinks for a while) "aamaan da...unma dhaan....idha pathi naan pala varushamaa yosichirukken da...."

Gintu: "great! idha tackle panna edhavadhu idea thonichaa?"

Gin: "romba naal think panni oru bayangaramaana idea thonichu da.. Stocks Trading maadhiri Fat-Trading.... gunda irukaravan odambula irukara extra fat ellam trade pannalaam.... olliya irukaravan adha vaangikalaam..... online accountum undu...pennline account um undu!"

Gintu: "kizhunjudhu po"

Gin: "idhula age vithiyaasamey kidayaadhu.... kuzhandhaigal mudhal mudiyavar varai...ellarum fat-trading pannalaam"

Gintu: "perivangalukku forex... kuzhandhaigalukku farex.... vengayam vikkara velaikku unna vengayamnu thitta kooda vekkama irukku da!!"

Gin: "ennoda pathu varusha kanavu idea da idhu..... apdi mattum oru scheme naan uruvaakitten naa..."

Gintu: "dei dei..podhu da.....doctor vasi maadhiri pesittey pogaadha...."

Gin: "ennoda odambula irukara extra fat ellam apdiyey eduthu..."

Gintu: "vaaikku transfer pannipiyaa??? un vaaila already irukara kozhuppu pathaadhaa?"

Gin: "oruthan imaginationa parakka vitta ungalukelaam porukaadhey"

Gintu: "maanatha parakka vittadhu pathaadha? imaginationa vera parakka vidanumaa?"

At this point R runs into the AC room of the hotel where Gin is sitting. As Gin is about to eat the Vada from his plate, R comes and sits in his opposite seat with a thud. Gin is taken by complete surprise and even before he realizes,his vada falls down on to the floor which R happens to step over with his slippers.

Gin stares at R as R speaks

"Dei...edhukku da indha hotel kku vandhu thaniyaa okkarndhirukka... innaikku valentines day nu theriyaadha unakku???? P enna meet panna inga varaannu solli irundhaa...adhu unakku theriyum.... naanum 2 hours a avalukaaga wait pannittu irundhen....somehow she got to know you are also here... adhanaala kochittu vara maatten nnu message anupirukka!!!  arivey illaya da unakku.... yenda ipdi siva poojayila panni maadhiri vandhu inga okkarndhirukka.... nee hostel vaa da... unna gavanichikuren"

After the flurry of words, R rushes out with the same speed he came in.

Gin's world becomes dark and starts to rotate around him randomly at infinite speed.

He stares longingly at the Vada that R just walked over.

He continues to stare.

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He still continues till date.

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Moral (if any) of the Story (if any) :

"In life for some its Vada-Poche ... For some others its V-Day Poche.... the objects of attraction may be different.... the intent always however is the same...."

See you folks. Have wonderful times ahead!!!