Ratha Paasam.

Gin runs into R's room as fast as he could. His heart skips beats at regular intervals. He rushes in, takes a seat, takes a deep breath.


R: "dei Gin...enna da aachu... ipdi odi vara? anything important? HOD kku udambukku edhavadhu?"


GIn: "aaha...enna oru paasam"


R: "illa da... naalaikku vandhu meet panna sonnaru... important a oru discussion"


Gin:" dei... dei... attendance lag kaaga poi kaalla vizha pora... idhukku buildup a?"



R: "seri seri...nee edhukku odi vandha..adha sollu"


GIn:" naan health conscious da... eppavumey odi dhaan varuven"


R: "adhu theriyum... 7:30 mani mess kku 7:15 key odi poi dosa queue la nikkaravan dhaaney nee"


Gin: "huh... silly fellow...seri...unna oru health related question kekaren...badhil sollu paapom"


R: " ? "


Gin: "saadha fruit kum dry fruit kum enna vithiyasam? sollu paapom"


R: "nee nethu varaikkum saadha fruit da... innaikkum naalaikkum kulikaama irundhaa dry fruit aayiduva.... enna..correctaa?"


Gin: "thoo... un kitten ketten paaru... calorie naa ennanu theriyumaa unakku"


R: "theriyum da... gowri ya tamizh la ezhudhinaa calorie nu varum!"


Gin:" aah... mokka podaadha...adhu seri...adhu enna laptop a marachi vechu edho pannittu irukka??....enna da matter?"


R:(silly smile)" matter laam onnum illa da"


Gin: "unmaya solriyaa... illaya" (moves towards R)



R: "ayyo...nothing da...just world politics browse pannittu irundhen..."


Gin: "idha enna namba solriyaa?"


R: "ayyo nejamaa da... latest news theriyumaa unakku? america la latest aa oru katchi election win pannuchu illa... andha katchi internal politics naala rendaa piriyaradhaa irundhaadhaam...ippo marubadiyum onnu serndhudichaam...epdi theriyumaa?"



Gin:(sarcastically) "mmm...epdiyaam?"


R: "katchi leader kku andha katchiyoda right hand 'thani party vendum' nu email anupchaaraam... adhula spelling mistakee aagi... he he...'thanni party vendum' nu mail poiduchaam... aprom ellarum thanni adichu onnu serndhutaangalaam...."

Gin: "idhu oru kadha...idha naan nambanumaa... ozhunga mariyadhayaa laptop indha pakkam thiruppu... adhu enna pakathula chips packet vera kadakku... appo sandhegamey illa...something wrong"


R: "dei...chips saaptaa thappaa da?"

Gin: "kutramulla nenju dhaan kurkure saapdum nu nee kelvi pattadhilla"

R: "ayyo..ivan tholla thaangalayey...dei..nothing da... naan konjam spiritual a polaamnu spirutual sites browse pannittu irundhen..."

Gin: "enna site? edha pathi browse pannittu irundha?"

R: "idhu da... i mean...idhu.... yeah.... aalwargal pathi "

Gin: "'salwar gal' nu nethu evening google la search pannavan dhaaney nee..ippo 'alwaar gal'pathi search pandranaa epdi da nambaradhu? ...laptopa kudu daa inga"

Gin jumps on R and pushes him away. Checks the laptop.


Operating system: Windows 98
Applications open: Notepad.
Filename         : "unakaaaga_oru_paper_roja.txt"

Contents:

"

I will write as many poems as possible. I will choose the best
to give her for valentines day.
1)

A,E,I,O,U endru sollum podhu udhadugal ottaadhu...
'P' endru sonnal dhaan udhadugal kooda ottum.

2)
vowel illadhaa consonant aa
aval illa college aa...


3)
kaalayil kathum seval..
vaazhvil thevai idam porul eval...
arisiyaal aanadhu aval pori...ayyo
ennakkul erivadhu ival veri "

4)
maalai nerathil pookum malligai
ulundhu paruppu kidaikum maligai...
aanaal neeyo enadhu _ (cursor)


"




The next scene at R's room is simple to imagine. Gin is seen below the bed rolling on the floor laughing.
It is rumoured secretly that Gin continued laughing for so long and so hard that his eyes started
bleeding. And now that folks explains the amazing yet subtle connection with the title of this
useless post!